Breaking up with someone who is in love with you?

Anyone have any experience in breaking up with someone who was in love with you?

I do not believe I wish to continue a relationship... but I do not want to smash the other person. :/

...?

 

Be honest, be direct.

There's no way to avoid hurt feelings, but to drag it out only makes it worse.

 

Make it a clean quick break. Don't lie, just politely tell her the truth and be done with it. The worst you could do is give false hope or pretend you care more than you actually do.

Never easy, but don't be afraid of the fall out.

 

Hannibal and Pennywise have it right. The longer you wait the worse the breakup will be.

 

Yep. I had to end a long distance relationship because the stress was hurting both of us. She basically told me I would have to be the one to end things if we were going to end it, so I eventually did.

It was very difficult and painful, but it was worth it in the end. We were both better off afterwards.

The other person may be "smashed" at first, but people adapt. Life goes on, and it's better to end something than to prolong suffering.

 

Try the "it's not you, it's me" routine...

 

Eh, I think you have that backwards. Its supposed to be "It's all because of you, definitely not me." At least that is how I have always done it.

To the OP, have you considered and E-card. Some of them are hilarious.

 

It is differences in politics and religion.

Polar opposites.

 

Bang her one last time and send her on her way.

 

Just use the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. Then you can get her back whenever you want.

 

find a karoke bar.

[video=youtube;C_xIydIp2kg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_xIydIp2kg[/video]

and keep singing on the way home...it bruises less than telling she's almost as good as her sister.

 

Oh man that sucks. That's never a fun position to be in.

The only advice that I can to give you is to drag out the break up, and try to do it about midday. You don't want to do it just a few hours before bedtime because she probably won't be able to fall asleep so easily, and most likely she will want some moral support and she can't get that if her friends are asleep. And don't do it before she goes to work. It'll make a crappy day even crappier when she can't even focus.

I know you're the one doing the break up but if you need help or moral support we're here for you.

 

The thing is, I know it will be a drama filled adventure. I mean... the drama... the drama that is generated is of levels I simply cannot handle most of the time.

 

Real quick, first off all, I need to make a little edit. I meant to say "do NOT drag out the breakup" I forgot to add that word in.

But yeah, I know what you're saying about drama. Let's face it, every relationship is going to have drama. That's just life. However there is a point where their is to much. And when it's constant then yeah......that's not really a healthy relationship I imagine.

The main thing to concentrate on right now is getting you to a place where you can be happy and optimistic about what's around you. I know that kind of situation can be exhausting emotionally and mentally.

 

Well, do you want to face drama one last time or keep facing it repeatedly and dreading more of the same?

Be a man and get it over with.

 

The drama stuff tells me that this significant other is a tad on the needy and manipulative side. Lots of people are like that and could use a straightening out at some point in their lives.

 

Rent a prostitute , take photos , leave them loose on your desktop , she will sprint out of your life .
A friend broke up with her boyfriend by sending him a photo of her giving head to another man LOL .

 

I think the idea here is to minimize the pain of the person you are breaking up with, not damage them for all their future relationships.

 

Meh , she will try to forget him as soon as possible which is the point.

 

Perhaps it's better to wait until the current relationship to cool off naturally rather than dumping her on impulse. A sudden breakup could hit her like a traffic accident from which she cannot recover for a long time especially if she is in her 30s.

 

There is no other way.....unless you can get her to end it instead.

 

So any reports from the OP? How did it go?

 

She is a genuinely good person, very loving, and very loyal, I had decided to go a little longer to see if things evened out.

Well, things have not evened out. I find a "I'm getting there" attitude of accepting my brothers homosexuality as completely unappealing (she made an issue of my brother's gayness in front of my brother... never thought of myself as a very protective brother until that night). I attended church with her for the first time, (*)(*)(*)(*) that place. (*)(*)(*)(*) that place and (*)(*)(*)(*) their uber conservative "you are worthless unless you are Christian" message (the Christian right accuses me of making strawmen, but trust me, I make no strawmen). More disturbing is the "HmmmmMmmmmm's" of agreement coming from her doing the entire (*)(*)(*)(*)ed up service by an intolerant and bigoted pastor.

I long to have a meaningful conversation with her, but those seem to go nowhere. I can talk about anything with my friends, and its all cool. I have a right wing young earth creationist friend, I dismiss any notion of the young earth and am a libertarian socialist. We can talk about it and its all cool. Last night I had drinks with friends discussing sexism in music and American imperialism. I talk about anything with the gf and its an argument. And that is just about everything that I find interesting, the three most notable being: religion, politics, and philosophy. What does that leave? Guns (aside from AR's and M&P's, I just don't care much)? Christian music?

My spirituality extends far beyond the confined and patriarchal constructs of archaic Abrahamic religions. Oh, and unless I accept Jesus I am going to hell, but I am still worth dating. Not sure how much respect actually exists if your believe your significant other is going to suffer for all eternity for a thought crime against a tyrannical deity.

I need someone who I share something more than guns in common with. She needs someone who can respect and embrace her beliefs in a way that she would find meaningful, because I certainly do not (simply being honest).

I think I have already made up my own mind, I just have to act on it. I don't want to hurt her... I really do not want to do that... I know it is unavoidable... but it comes in degrees.

 

Make up sh!t. Lie like a rug. Tell her you have aids or are scheduled to have a sex change operation. Tell her your genes are scrambled from years of LSD abuse. Tell her you really like Meth. Ask her if she has a dildo you could borrow. Etc... See, it's easy.

 

This is going to sound bad, but I don't mean it to. It is a legit question.

Ask her what she sees in the relationship and where it is going.

For all you know she may see you as a just dating kind of person, not someone she wants a life with. If she goes that route, that gives you an easy out to dump her.

Let us know how it goes.