Smartie's Bar & Grill #68

Hobbies. Mine is welding. In early 2008, after thinking long and hard on what I'm going to do in retirement (different subject, but anyone who thinks golf, fishing or something else is the goal will be bored in 3 months) I decided upon welding so I took a year's worth of night welding classes 2 nights a week at a community college. The first class was just a test, but I loved it. Initially I'd planned to only take TIG classes (one type of welding) but ended up taking every class they had. Currently, it's just a hobby, but I love it. My wife comments my "mood" is better if I hang out most of the day in my hangar working on a welding project.

My current project is adding a ramp to the back of a trailer I built for my wife. She has a side business requiring a small trailer and, rather than always carrying and placing ramps, having one that blocks the back of the trailer is a twofer. It's similar to this design:

 

I have absolutely nothing but respect for Horse people.
Both English AND Western.One of my hero's was Roy Rogers.
Trust me,he did not ride English.But what he and Trigger managed
was just short of miraculous.
I am just stating facts.Like the difference between Formula One
Racing and NASCAR.Both cars involved are high powered but
that is about the only similarity.

 

Thanks for the backpedal, but first you made one post slighting non-English riders then double downed with a second:

 

When One rides English they have to follow certain
procedures.Like first knowing how to care for the horse,
and the equipment.Then stuff like learning how to trot then
gallop and maybe what Tenessee walking is all about { going
sideways }.
Plus you have to wear certain riding gear,including an English
saddle.Western has NONE of that.Western is basically a come as
you are and do as you like.
GOT IT NOW.

 

Dinner tonight will be fresh potatoes (right out of the ground) made into mashed, with steak and gravy and green beans.

 

Sounds good!

 

It is highly disrespectful to use the flag for clothing or other sales gimmicks.

• http://www.usflag.org/flagetiquette.html

 

American males appreciate both the flag and a pretty girl. Others? Not so much. What are you?

 

Well then answer a question.Because sometimes my Kroger
has really fresh and colorful Red Potatoes { the ones I prefer }
and sometimes they look discolored,the skin is slightly wrinkled
and they aren't really hard.
What is the shelf life of a Potato ? { like a small red Potato }
Since I knew a family what kept their's all winter in their basement
wooden rack along with their canned veggies.

 

Wasn't there a bikini clad chickie pooh in the movie
- Apocalypse Now - { 1979 } who dressed in stars and the
Red,White & Blue.
Them grunts on night leave shore dint seem to matter mush.
The Chickie pooh were chopper'd on some makeshift air pad
off some River basin.

 

Follow up on welding. One of the reasons I chose it was to be outside. I like being outside. Although my education and experience qualifies me for many office jobs with good pay, they never interested me. During my research for a retirement job, I wanted several things:
1) Working outside for most of the time.
2) The ability to be my own boss, but a skill that was employable if need be. Having my own small business was the goal, but the ability to be employable was Plan B.
3) I had to like it. There's nothing worse on this planet than having to do something you hate for a job. Life is too short. To do it for retirement is just f**king stupid. I wanted something I really liked to do and would wake up looking forward to doing.
4) Make some beer money. Smart people plan for retirement, but few people can continue to spend money like they were fully employed. Yes, if smart, they can plan ahead, but a little "beer money" never hurts.

 

For those who are unhappy, a few thoughts to consider:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/changepower/201701/10-ways-you-are-causing-your-own-unhappiness
Many of life's difficulties are out of your control. You can’t control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older. For the most part, you can’t control the actions of other adults, though you may have influence. And, in the words of the Rolling Stones, you can’t always get what you want.

But you can learn to stop any misery you might be inflicting on yourself. I like the way this idea is expressed in “The Four Noble Truths” of Buddhism. In highly over-simplified soundbites, the Four Noble Truths can be summarized as follows:

1. There is a lot of suffering in life. Some unhappiness and misery is inevitable.
2. You may be causing some of your suffering.
3. You can stop causing your own suffering!
4. Once you cease to create your own suffering, you are more likely to live a good life, one in harmony with your deepest values and goals.

How might you possibly be harming yourself? While humans make themselves suffer in many ways, here are 10 common sources of self-caused suffering, which I've dubbed "Misery-Makers," along with 10 suggestions for stopping:

Misery-Maker 1. Inventing and dwelling upon painful inner dramas that have little or no basis in fact.

Examples: “There was a fiery crash on the interstate. My wife might have been in that. What would I do if she died?” “The way he reacted to me yesterday must mean that he doesn’t really love me, despite what he says.” “If my boss fires me, I’ll never be able to find another job and will end my life in dire poverty.”

Having a vivid imagination is such a wonderful thing—except when it isn’t. Unless you are writing a novel or a screenplay, using your imagination to spin tales that are outrageous, hurtful, or even horrifying can be harmful to your sanity and peace of mind. The stories you tell yourself can take on a life of their own, becoming an unending source of anger, self-pity, anxiety, or just plain misery.

How to stop the misery: When your fantasies threaten to ruin your emotional health, neutralize them by murmuring these words: “Just thoughts.” Realizing that your fantasies are not realities will help you separate from them, as if standing to one side. Then, give your mind another job to do, such as to focus on your breathing or to think about a plan for the day. If you are worrying over a problem that actually could arise in the future, make a realistic plan and write it down.

Misery-Maker 2. Judging yourself in a harsh way.

Examples: “Why do you always say the wrong thing?” “Why can’t you lose weight?” “What’s wrong with you?”

No, it’s not your worst enemy saying that; it’s your own critical inner voice. It’s shocking how cruel we can be to ourselves. If you have a critical inner voice that is constantly judging and blaming you, notice it (how could you not?) but don’t believe it. Your self-talk is not the truth—it's "just thoughts."

How to stop the misery: Replace negative self-talk with realistic and positive self-talk. For example, “Whether I lose weight or not, I am a worthwhile person who deserves love.” Practice self-compassion—be kind to yourself by softening your judgment and treating yourself like your own best friend.

Misery-Maker 3. Thinking that mistakes, setbacks, and failures doom you for life.

Examples: “I must be a dumb person to have made that mistake.” “I guess I’ll never do anything right.” “I’m such a moron!”

Self-talk likes this makes you think you have to be perfect instead of the fallible human being that you are—that we all are.

How to stop the misery: Instead of putting yourself down for your mistakes and failures, make the conscious decision to grow from them. “Oh, now I see what I need to do in the future.” “I’ll look at this as a challenge rather than as a problem.” This self-talk will help you develop a “growth mindset,” to use the phrase of researcher Carol Dweck. People who can grow from their setbacks are more likely to succeed and to feel better about themselves.

Misery-Maker 4. Blaming yourself for things you can’t control.

Sometimes it’s easier to blame yourself for a problem than to accept that the situation was never within your control. Children who are victims of abusive parents, for instance, often believe that if only they had done x, y, or z, their family would have been just fine. The hard truth is that there was little, if anything, they could have done. Realizing that you are helpless in a situation can often be more terrifying than the false, but oddly comforting, belief that you have control.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice when you blame yourself. Then ask yourself: “Was I really responsible for what happened?” “Is it really my fault that he didn’t ask me out again?” “Can I really control her drinking?” Remind yourself that you can only really control your own behavior. Take a deep breath and focus in on actions and activities that will improve your life.

Misery-Maker 5. Blaming other people and situations for things you CAN control or passively accepting what you COULD change.

“She makes me mad.” “Brrr. It’s so cold in here.” “I wish he would understand how much I need some time alone right now.”

All these typical situations are within your circle of control, at least partially if not completely. For example, no one can “make you mad.” You can control your inner response to events much of the time. If you are cold, put on a sweater. If you want someone to understand you, speak up.

How to Stop the Misery: Change “it” and “you” language to “I” language. For example, speak out like this: “I didn’t like it when you said that. Please stop.” “I’m cold. Mind if I turn up the heat?” “I need some alone time right now.” Acting more assertive is thrilling, no matter how small the issue!

Misery-Maker 6. Creating suffering through bad habits and addictions.

Smoking. Overdrinking. Taking drugs. Leading a couch-potato life. These bad habits may seem like they relieve stress—and they may indeed relieve stress in the short run—but they are false friends. Eventually, they turn on you and make your life miserable, even cut it short.

How to Stop the Misery: Decide to change and make a plan. If your plan doesn’t work, see a therapist or check yourself into a program that can help you quit your self-destructive habit.

Misery-Maker 7. Comparing yourself to others.

“If only I had her looks!” “If only I had his personality!” Social comparison is an unending source of misery for most of us, because there will always be someone who is more beautiful, funnier, wiser, or richer.

How to Stop the Misery: Instead of comparing your situation to that of others, make your own life as good as possible. Find your own path. Instead of comparing yourself to those who are better off, make a “downward comparison” to those who are suffering more than you are. Things can always be worse. And for the most powerful antidote to social comparison, try this: Gratitude. A practice of gratitude is one of the easiest and most rewarding good habits you can develop. Try the powerful “Three Good Things” exercise, described here.

Misery-Maker 8. Not being yourself.

Social pressure can warp your mind and your actions. You may find yourself trying to “have fun” in ways that are not really fun. You may present yourself in one way when you actually feel a different way underneath. True, in some situations, like in your work life, you may often need to play a role to get by. If this is the case with you, figure out how best to express who you are in other areas of your life.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice what you really enjoy. Notice what makes you feel good about yourself. Notice what seems to be good for your personal growth. Gradually, make choices much more in harmony with your “True Self.” Say “no” to activities and people that drain your self-confidence and energy.

Misery-Maker 9. Falling for the belief that you can’t change.

“I’m just this way.” “My father was like this too, so I’ve got the genes for smoking.”

Self-acceptance is usually a positive thing, but not if you are using it as an excuse to avoid the work of necessary change. Although it does take work, you can decide to change behavioral habits and do it successfully. For example: You can learn to listen instead of interrupting. You can create an exercise program. You can speak up for yourself.

Recent research suggests that you can even change aspects of your personality that seem inborn and permanent. A recent review of over 200 studies indicated that therapycould cause personality changes relatively quickly, even in as little as 4-8 weeks. People with emotional instability who were in therapy benefited the most, increasing their ability to handle stressors and reduce inner turmoil.

How to Stop the Misery: Notice your own belief system about change. Begin to question it. Ask yourself: “Would I like to change? Would I benefit from changing?” Then make a plan and tinker with it until you can get it to work. If not, see #10 below.

Misery-Maker 10. Thinking that you have to do it all yourself.

“I should be able to handle this. Why can’t I?” “Everyone else seems just fine but me.”

This self-talk keeps you from getting the emotional support that you need. There’s nothing as potentially life-changing as talking regularly with a good therapist who can help you solve problems, discover new perspectives, and grow.

How to Stop the Misery: See a therapist, join a 12-step group, or call a friend. Keep an open mind.

The STOP Process

I've personally wallowed in every one of the ten Misery-Makers at some point in my life. While not perfect, I've gotten better at recognizing when I'm causing my own suffering, then stopping myself and gently switching my mental gears to thoughts and actions that are more productive.

To make progress, I've used what I call the STOP Process. The idea is to use the letters in STOP to remind you how to STOP your own self-caused suffering:

S = “See what you are doing to yourself.” Just recognizing that you are hurting yourself is a big step forward. Self-awareness is essential to change.

T = “Take charge and make the decision to change.” Research shows that when you make the conscious decision to change, you are more likely to be successful.

O = “Brainstorm your Options and choose one to try.”

P = Practice. The more you repeat a new behavior, the more habitual it will become.

Are you causing your own suffering? Could you STOP right now?

 

However I gave up Beer years ago.I was a Beer nut in college and up
until the early 80's when I seriously started experimenting with nice
wine.My first voray into drinking or getting plastered was with Boones Farm
and Ripple.That was halfway into my senior year in high school.I injured
my ribs in Wrestling practice and didn't want to admit to the coach.
I thought I could tough it out,but bruised ribs hurt an awful lot.
By my senior year in college I took a likin' to Rose wine.
But I still preferred beer.I liked beer till about 7-8 years ago and
this craft beer craze.I would alternate between a nice bottle of wine
one night and beer and bourbon the next.
I spent around 5 years as a Homebrewer.So I know Beer.
I eventually gave up white wine first,around 12 years ago.
I then decided only Red Wine.And only Big Reds like Varietals.
Cabernet Savignon or Pinot Noir.From the West coast { Napa,Sonoma
and maybe Oregon for Pinot Noir }.I always liked French red every since the
popularity and availability of Beaujolois in the Mid-80's.
I also like Cotes du Rhone { very affordable }.But my tastes have
matured greatly { it takes years to develop a nose and taste for good
Red Wine }.I'm into Chateauneuf-du-Pape as of about 5 years ago.
That takes a little growing into.It's termed { Terroir } which means
how a specific region { in France for example } can effect the outcome'
of taste and appreciation of a certain appellation.
N'cest pa ?
No need for a beer budget.

 

Were you camping at John Pennekamp? We enjoyed going out to Molasses Reef, the first time diving on the reef was such an experience, it was gorgeous. I liked diving on the patch reefs too, there seemed to be a lot of variety on the smaller patch reefs. Bahia Honda was another Key that was fun also Big Pine Key with the Key Deer and then you go down to Key West for the Kinos.
Did you ever go to Calle Ocho Festival in Miami? That was a bit of latin culture worth seeing.

Nice article, thank you for sharing.

 

I think Foolie just wants people to think he is the way we see him. I bet he is really an ol softie, trying to hide the fact he is a softie. Look at the way he talks about animals.

 

It ain't never been opened, no amount of washing can erase what those feet stepped in.

 

The bright side about Little Havana is that many a Cuban who fled
Cuba and live in Florida { mostly those my age } are pretty intelligent
and respectable.They maintain this degree of character because they
know what being a Cuban used to represent.
Fidel Castro { educated by the Jesuits } was always a smart
man and even somewhat an Intellectual.But as soon as he
acquired his voice amidst all his rabal-rousing,he became ever
increasingly untrustworthy and then outright dangerous.
Terminating into a man possessed.Not to be denied at any and
all costs.The Cuban populace paid the biggest price.Not merely those
fancy gambling Casino's and the like.

 

Smartmouthwoman, if that is you at the bar, save me a seat. I will be there shortly.

 

What " ain't never been opened ". ?
Why I recall quite clearly the Day Smarty opened-up about
her Politics.Something about " How Sweet it Is " -- Jackie Gleason
and " To the Moon ... Alice. To the Moon ".
I think I got the drift.
Politics is like Pickled Pigs Feet.You either open up
about or forever keep your feet from wading-in.
Like a man seen dog paddling instead of swimming like
Buster Crabbe.

 

I weld a bit too. Pipe welding was part of my apprenticeship. It was only stick welding. Now all I use is inner shield for my little projects. I added a ramp like your pic shows to my neighbors trailer. He was retired but would haul his snowblower around to clear people’s driveways. He didn’t need the money but it kept him active in the winter.

 

I've never worked professionally as a welder, but did take pipe welding as part of my training. Mostly stick and wire-feed (flux core wire) welding here but I want to ramp up my TIG skills this winter.

 

I want to learn tig someday. I would like to build my own brew sculpture out of stainless.

 

Castro's role model was Benito Mussolini.

 

" Following up on welding ". Kinda like Proof reading ... eh.
W/o being counter intuitive ... maybe spot welding is in order.
I always wanted to take a course or learn from a real pro
welder about the In's and Out's.
It is almost invaluable in some situations.Like a broke part
on a vehicle.

 

Again and most americans don't know this.Castro was raised
a Catholic and taught by the Jesuits.So he knows right from wrong
and also morals.Yet he chose to be an Overthrower and lifelong
dictator.BTW ... Many people also don't understand the difference
between a Hitler and a Mussolini.
Hitler was a National Socialist who also chose to be a violent
Dictator.He overthrew the Berlin Communist's who controlled
Germany prior to 1933.
Mussolini was a Fascist.Not a Hitler National Socialist.