What should a woman do with the unprovable sexual harassment?

Discussion in 'Opinion POLLS' started by Turin, Oct 8, 2018.

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What should a woman do with the unprovable sexual harassment?

  1. She should go to the police

    6 vote(s)
    25.0%
  2. She should go to Human Resources

    4 vote(s)
    16.7%
  3. She should carry out an her own investigation looking for other proof.

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  4. She should voice her encounter to the community.

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  5. She should remain silent.

    1 vote(s)
    4.2%
  6. Other ( please explain below )

    11 vote(s)
    45.8%
  1. Crawdadr

    Crawdadr Well-Known Member

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    She should go to the police and report it. While she may not be able to prove the allegations there is now a record of them. It is a rare thing for a predator to only do this once. The allegations would set off an investigation where others can be questioned.

    But if she waits and does nothing then the longer she waits the less chance her predator will get punished.
     
  2. AltLightPride

    AltLightPride Well-Known Member

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    The situation in the OP makes sense until the "It will never happen again" part. I call BS on that, it's an arbitrary statement that is completely unrealistic. She's still working at that job, the boss is still a pervert who's into her. If she goes to see him again it will happen again. And she can record it.

    Hell even if for some reason it doesn't, she can talk to him about it and record him making threats, as he already did. Which is enough to convict him on its own.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
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  3. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    The real question is what ee should do to women who lie about sexual harassment.
     
  4. Moonglow

    Moonglow Well-Known Member

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    If she be my daughter I be paying a visit to her boss at his home....
     
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  5. ocean515

    ocean515 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    She should laugh. Tell the boss to put his dick away. Or get a towel and hand it to him.
     
  6. DentalFloss

    DentalFloss Well-Known Member

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    That is probably at least partially true. It's unfortunate, I suppose, but it's part of the human condition. But to condemn/convict/oppose/whatever a person based on a completely unsubstantiated allegation just based on that unsubstantiated allegation is not how our system or society works. Does that mean that truly guilty people get off? Yes, it does. But better 10, hell 100 guilty get off than 1 innocent does not.
     
  7. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    This is where she should run out of the office, slam the door behind her, report the sick pervert to the police and never come back.

    This is where you resign and look for another employer.

    Wait! Does this mean the woman ("my daughter") consented to show her breasts and/or to get naked in order to earn a raise? Then I am not quite sure if there has been a crime.

    She should've run out of the office the night that it happened imo.

    He is a disgusting pervert.

    She can still report it. A crime is a crime.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What should a man do in the same case with the roles reversed?

    In this day and age a simple app on your phone can record the evidence you need.

    Or do what my mum did when someone kept pinching her bum in the early 70's and smack the bloke in the face at work in front of all the staff and call him a creepy pervert. He never pinched her bum again or harassed any of the other women.
     
  9. jgoins

    jgoins Well-Known Member

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    She should get another job, with unemployment this low under Trump she should be able to find another job easily enough.
     
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  10. Ritter

    Ritter Well-Known Member

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    I was once standing in line to order a drink at a bar and infront of me stood these two young ladies . Suddenly, one of them grabs the other one's butt (far from gently) and the latter turns around and sees me. I couldn't do much but to point at her friend who pointed back at me, but luckily she was laughing and the "victim" kind of figured out it was her friend. Least cool moment in my life that could have easily ended in allegations of sexual harassment if the friend was psychotically malevolent enough.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
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  11. Pardon_Me

    Pardon_Me Banned

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    People sometimes think they will know what they would do, when faced with a hypothetical situation such as this one, but truth is, it depends a lot on the woman in the situation, and the other details.

    As a young woman, I worked at a small restaurant and I had just such a creepy boss. He was an older, married man, and on my second day I made some small error, and he said he wanted to speak to me about it...in a store room. After describing the error, he then assured me it was not a big deal as I was new, and then he HUGGED me in a most disgusting, heavy breathing, way too long, groping my ass type of..."hug".

    I came out of that determined to be the best dang waitress the world had ever seen, in order to avoid needing another...reprimand!
    (I was 20, I needed the job, and I also was already well aware that there were plenty of "bosses" I would have to deal with, as this was not something women were unfamiliar with, this type of thing happens all too frequently, in many different environments, and probably always will).

    I soon learned that this particular scum bag boss, did not only use that store room, to deliver constructive criticism, but as I found out the following week, he also used it to deliver praise for perfect performance! Uhhgg! So when he said to me, could I step into the store room for a minute, I asked what I had done wrong and he said nothing. I stood where I was, and he mentioned several large orders I handled, and that he was told I had done an excellent job, he didn't force me into the store room, and although he did get nose to nose, I think he knew I was on to his bs, and he didn't try the creepy hug thing.

    I mentioned what happened to the other waitresses, all young pretty girls of course, and they all cracked up laughing, and said he always does that to new girls... they used to laugh at him and talk about how we wondered how his wife put up with his ****...I found a different job, real quick because I couldn't stand the guy.

    In the scene like in the OP, it's a tad unrealistic. That kind of guy, is almost always a repeat offender. I would find it more than just hard to believe that a decent man, would think to himself, just this once, I think I'll be a perv and then I'll never ever do it again. Seriously, doubt it.

    But if I were to find myself in that situation, I don't think I would have reported that either, to be honest, in those days we just got the hell out of there, and if anything we told men in our lives, who knew, and loved us, and a different sort of justice played out from there...

    That's the way it was. Women were not likely to get very far using formal complaint channels. And we knew this was a thing we would face from time to time.
     
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  12. Turin

    Turin Well-Known Member

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    Which does happen. I believe its an incredibly low number though. Roughly 2-3%. So, no. I dont think that is the "real" question.
     
  13. Max Rockatansky

    Max Rockatansky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Talk to Don Corleone. :)

    They sure as **** won't be getting any help from Republicans, especially if they become pregnant from the rape.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  14. Max Rockatansky

    Max Rockatansky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Some data:

    https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/Publications_NSVRC_Overview_False-Reporting.pdf
    The majority of sexual assaults, an estimated 63 percent, are never reported to the police (Rennison, 2002). The prevalence of false reporting cases of sexual violence is low (Lisak, Gardinier, Nicksa, & Cote, 2010), yet when survivors come forward, many face scrutiny or encounter barriers. For example, when an assault is reported, survivors may feel that their victimization has been redefined and even distorted by those who investigate, process, and categorize cases.

    https://www.ourresilience.org/what-you-need-to-know/myths-and-facts/
    Myth: A lot of victims lie about being raped or give false reports.
    Fact: Only 2-8% of rapes are falsely reported, the same percentage as for other felonies.[3]

    Myth: Rape does not happen that often.
    Fact: There is an average of 293,066 victims ages 12 or older of rape and sexual assault each year in the U.S. This means 1 sexual assault occurs every 107 seconds.[6]

    https://www.statista.com/statistics/191137/reported-forcible-rape-cases-in-the-usa-since-1990/
    Rape-stats.png
     

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    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
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  15. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    I'm curious...Are you saying that a woman's word is all the evidence we need to deem a man guilty?
     
  16. Turin

    Turin Well-Known Member

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    I am not saying anything. I am just laying out a plausible scenario, and asking what you think she should do about it.
     
  17. Max Rockatansky

    Max Rockatansky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Clearly he's not. As many threads on Kavanaugh-Ford prove; the woman is a labeled a lying whore for making an accusation she can't prove and, even if she was raped, according to them, the little **** deserved it for showing up at a party with older boys and beer.

    Do you find something wrong about that? Agreed that someone shouldn't be declared guilty simply on the word of another, but does that automatically make the accuser a criminal for not being able to back up their accusation?
     
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  18. Pardon_Me

    Pardon_Me Banned

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    Actually, that is what women have done, is it not? I don't know one single woman who has not had to field some type of unwanted "attention", at some point in her life. From catcalls right up to sexual assault. Women have been vulnerable in this respect for eons.

    Guilty of what though? Was he just being a verbally explicit perv, did he expose himself, or did he grab your @ss on the T? Did or rape you? Many times there's just not a lot of "proof". So how much of that is ok?

    Where I'm from, we just dealt with that crap by either being nonchalant and exiting the situation, ( keep walking, avoid eye contact), or issuing a strong **** and back off warning, or having back-up, someone, at least that was willing to tell "creepy dude" they will be painfully dealt with, (Blanket Party style).

    I've had my 13 year old daughter "catcalled" hollered and whistled at, by a bunch of spanish @holes hanging out of a third story wood-shop window when she ran across the street to me, I would have liked to gone in there and kicked some @ss! We live in a culture where this chit is unfortunately, ( because it's RUDE!), tolerated. ( I hear they don't act at all like this in Australia. Must be nice.).

    So what DO we do?
    Maybe like this girl in this video? ( In the first part of this film, where she's walking around in normal street clothes, you might just think, "pretty girl getting a lot of attention, what's the big deal". But it does get old, and sometimes it'd be nice to just be able to walk along without that crap, ( like men can).
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
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  19. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    The only people that attach the "lying whore" label to Blasey Ford...have been democrats trying to make up what they wish Republicans were saying.

    So the point of the ops first post seems to be....what again? I think it's obvious he is trying to justify why a womans word should be considered hard evidence.

    As far as what I would do? I would go to the police, as well as hr, corporate, his boss....whoever is higher ranked and then I would quit. It is not a safe environment to continue working in.
     
  20. Max Rockatansky

    Max Rockatansky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You should read more of the messages on this forum posted by anti-Ford folks.
     
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  21. Max Rockatansky

    Max Rockatansky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    It is, indeed a cultural thing....which in a nation as large as ours means it depend upon where you live. My advice? Not live in a shithole like NYC. :)

    Secondly, while the video is interesting, I'd be careful on drawing conclusions from it for two main reasons:
    1) like many "man on the street" videos, it could be cut to emphasize one thing over another. In short, I'd like to see their methodology validated.

    2) Even if it is an accurate depiction, there are at least two reasons why nobody whistled at her; the clothing wasn't as revealing or fear that she'd detonate her suicide belt if harassed. Seriously. Fear causes changes in behavior but I don't recommend it as a social tool.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2018
  22. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    1) It is not my place to give advice to people. Many women would not like me to mansplain their experience to them.

    2) If the implication is that we should have Presumption of Guilt, then I disagree 100%. Presumption of Guilt is the greatest injustice like Slavery.
     
  23. Ndividual

    Ndividual Well-Known Member

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    If unprovable, about all you could do is expediently file a complaint providing all the details while they are fresh in your mind.
     
  24. Pardon_Me

    Pardon_Me Banned

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    It's pretty much like this in any big city. Here in Boston it's the same. I don't have to draw conclusions from the vid, I've lived it my whole life, at least from a young teen on up...It's accurate, (sometimes it's worse actually. Depending on the area your in. )
     
  25. reallybigjohnson

    reallybigjohnson Banned

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    If you wait 30 years and have no evidence then you can't complain if no one believes you or if they do believe you they can't prosecute. One thing does need to change and that is the nonsense about not wanting to report a rape or sexual assault immediately because of shame or some other reason. That nonsense needs to stop now. Either report it immediately or don't say anything at all. Don't wait for someone else to do something about it do something yourself. I don't give two shits about how embarrassed you might feel because if you stay silent and another crime is committed then you are complicit in that crime just as someone who saw a murder or bank robbery didn't report it and the perpetrator killed or robbed someone else.
     

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