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Make up outrageous lies about other members

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Liberty Monkey, Dec 1, 2018.

Page 11 of 29
  1. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    One day in Scotland there was a man in a pub.
    In walks a mate who says..."Mc Gregor, you look a wee bit down."
    "Aye" says he..."Ya know I lived in this town me whole life"
    "Ya see that Church yonder...Built that I did, Quarried the stone, chopped the trees...built it I did.....but do they call me McGregor the Church builder?....No they Dunt."
    " An the School house over on the hill...Built that too, I did.....do they call me McGregor the school builder...No they Dunt."

    " But you know...Ya Fock one sheep!"
     
    tecoyah, Dec 16, 2018
    #251
    Sallyally, Blaster3, Nonnie and 1 other person like this.
  2. ARDY

    ARDY Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Libertey monkey is an ironic persona created by s colbert in order to lampoon trump supporters
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2018
    ARDY, Dec 16, 2018
    #252
    Derideo_Te, Sallyally, Liberty Monkey and 1 other person like this.
  3. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Like peaches and cream ice cream cone dipped in chocolate with sprinkles.
     
    StillBlue, Dec 16, 2018
    #253
    Sallyally likes this.
  4. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Shhh don't let the secret out
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 16, 2018
    #254
  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Nope, I was on the baked beans.

    Allegedly, StillBlue is actually Pink but has been holding their breath too long.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 16, 2018
    #255
    Liberty Monkey likes this.
  6. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    This was Liberty Monkeys audition with Colbert:
     
    tecoyah, Dec 16, 2018
    #256
    Sallyally likes this.
  7. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Nonnie has fleas.
     
    Sallyally, Dec 17, 2018
    #257
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    It's best to get the plague out the way whilst you're young....
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 17, 2018
    #258
    Sallyally likes this.
  9. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Dark Star is actually a small light coloured diddy planet like Pluto.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 28, 2018
    #259
    Sallyally likes this.
  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Only on weekends, so jokes on you.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 28, 2018
    #260
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  11. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    @Sallyally 's dog attacked the postman. She tried to help and one thing led to another. Now she's pregnant.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 31, 2018
    #261
  12. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    @Liberty Monkey has gone off sex since the birth of his child but his wife just can't get enough. The only way he can get in the mood is by thinking of the footballer, Andy Carroll. He doesn't want sex anymore but needs to when he thinks about Andy and his ponytail. He's never met him but he can't stop having sexy dreams over him and fears it may affect the way he feels about his wife.

    Could any members here offer any advice?
     
    Nonnie, Dec 31, 2018
    #262
  13. Hadrian's Hammer

    Hadrian's Hammer Banned

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    @Liberty Monkey is the rambling of a diseased mind or is it just a juxtaposition? :D
     
    Hadrian's Hammer, Dec 31, 2018
    #263
    Mr_Truth, Derideo_Te and Nonnie like this.
  14. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    It's not diseased but I certainly can't deny that it might be sick ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Dec 31, 2018
    #264
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  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    It's a miracle!
     
    Sallyally, Dec 31, 2018
    #265
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  16. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    As in, an immaculate conception !!!
     
    Nonnie, Dec 31, 2018
    #266
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  17. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Because the Postal Service finally managed to make an undamaged delivery?

    ;)
     
    Derideo_Te, Jan 1, 2019
    #267
    Hadrian's Hammer, Mr_Truth and Sallyally like this.
  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    No, a geriatric conception.
     
    Sallyally, Jan 1, 2019
    #268
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  19. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Can't get enough what? [​IMG]
     
    cerberus, Jan 1, 2019
    #269
  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jan 1, 2019
    #270
  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Children
     
    Sallyally, Jan 1, 2019
    #271
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I'll have you know my new years resolution is to be less "Rapey" this year.
    .
    .
    .
    Well more a guideline ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jan 1, 2019
    #272
    Sallyally likes this.
  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Liberty has had a tragic life. Stolen away from his family when he was 18, he became a slave to a silent order of dog worshippers. He was eventually able to make his escape when the council ranger came to investigate complaints of dog hoarding.
    He'll require years of therapy to overcome the horrors of his existence there.
     
    Sallyally, Jan 1, 2019
    #273
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  24. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What do you mean horrors? I quite enjoyed my time living at Sallyally's ;)
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2019
    Liberty Monkey, Jan 1, 2019
    #274
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  25. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    You brave boy,you( sniffle)
     
    Sallyally, Jan 1, 2019
    #275
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