You might be native to Florida, if....

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by FatBack, Feb 24, 2020.

  1. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    25 Ways to know if you are a TRUE Floridian...

    1. Socks are only for bowling.

    2. You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

    3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

    4. Your winter coat is made of denim.

    5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

    6. You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

    7. Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

    8. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

    9. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

    10. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

    11. You dread love bug season.

    12. You are on a first name basis with the hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma, Irene, Cheryl, Rita, Mary, Alison.

    13. You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

    14. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

    15. 'Down South' means Key West.

    16. Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

    17. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

    18. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

    19. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

    20. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

    21. You've hosted a hurricane party.

    22. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy and Myakka.

    23. You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

    24. You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years.

    25. You recognize Miami-Dade as "Northern Cuba."

    Floridians will "get" it. Especially # 22 lol, the true test. If you google it, please head back up north on April 1st.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2020
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  2. SEAL Team V

    SEAL Team V Banned

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    25b) You’ve waited in line at Joe’s Stone Crab before they accepted reservations.

    My grandma was born in Miami, my dad was born in Miami and I was the second baby born at Cedars of Lebanon hospital.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
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  3. SEAL Team V

    SEAL Team V Banned

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    You forgot Weeki Wachee.
     
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  4. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    In addition to the town of Myakka there's a Port Myakka on the lake, and here's a pic of the "downtown." I've been thru there many times. The general store is now long gone.

    portmyakka.jpg
     
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  5. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    There are people living there, especially in Little Havana area, that were born here, are adults, and not do speak or understand English. You can spend the day at the mega-mall Sawgrass Mills in Sunrise, and not hear English spoken. Crazy.
     
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  6. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    I would not go to Miami on a dare or bet. 16 years living in Tampa and now a rural town.
     
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  7. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    "Not do speak"?
    When dissing people for their lack of English proficiency you should proof read what you wrote.
     
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  8. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    NOT dissing them. Just think it's crazy that it occurs among native born in a major metro area.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  9. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    Oh damn, the typo police! English aint no game!
     
  10. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You forgot Choctawhatchee, Appalachicola, and when someone says they are going to Wewa you know they mean Wewahitchka.
     
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  11. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    And Sopchoppy and Withlacoochee and a host of others. I spent some time in Quincy Fl, once.
     
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  12. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    Lets not forget Okeechobee and Pahokey.
     
  13. Injeun

    Injeun Well-Known Member

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    If your'e fixing to commence pondering cutting the grass and get distracted by thoughts of going fishing, and resolve to cut the grass next week...maybe.
    If you've ever strapped your deer stand to a cabbage palm.
    If the sight of a golf cart customization shop strikes you as an utter absurdity.
    If you consider shooting doves while sitting in a lawn chair to be a sport.
    If the two most important things in life for a guy are girls and shade.
    If everything you see you wonder if a bass would eat it.
    If you consider Georgians and Alabamans to be northerners.
    If you hold bike week and love bug season in similar regard.
     
  14. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    That's Pahokee home to Mel Tillis when he was a youngster.
     
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  15. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Then you know where Coon Bottom is located.
     
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  16. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Not to be outdone by Cuba Florida has a Havana also only it is pronounced different, Hay-van-uh. The town also had a lot of shade tobacco farms that grew tobacco for cigars. There are still a lot of tobacco barns that can be seen in and around the area. It is quaint to see how life was at one time.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  17. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    Funny and though I've never been to florida... I can tell it's got a strong thread of truth.
     
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  18. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    We are #3. But we DO NOT have a Bass pro shop...I wish!

     
  19. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You should go to Florida and learn the truth. Usually, people find what they want to find. Florida has a lot of history and interesting history at that.
     
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  20. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Everyone should go to Miami. You still have plans to make the Calle Ocho Festival March 15, now that is something to do. Absolutely!! Speaking Spanish might be a plus but not necessary. I went to it once and had a great time.

    The Cuban food in Miami is worth the trip to Miami.
     
  21. Rush_is_Right

    Rush_is_Right Well-Known Member

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    Florida may be in the southeast but it is anything but southern. I lived in the Tampa area for a year, loved it but at that time housing was insanely expensive (before the crash).
     
  22. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Anything south of Ocala is not southern. It was south of Orlando at one time but the Villages changed all that.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  23. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    Well you are right of course, but I can relate to some degree with 2,3,4,7 and 24....we've got that crazy inconsistent weather in OK and more used to heat then balmy 65 degrees.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  24. daisydotell

    daisydotell Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Oklahoma has a lot of history too.
     
  25. FatBack

    FatBack Well-Known Member

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    Beg pardon Sir? :)

    Many generation native of Fl...lived in Tampa, 16 years.
     

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