This is a fun piece I wrote and its pretty much nonsense, but it was enjoyable writing it up nonetheless. It is designed to poke harmless fun at people who believe in UFO's and other crazy stuff like The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Water To Control The American Population . . . . . . and stuff like The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them Locked Up In Secret Places. ______________ I Believe In UFO's by JAG "There is good solid evidence for the reality of UFO's", say some people. My reply to them is this: I believe in UFO's. Just yesterday my wife and I were out in the back yard when an Unidentified Flying Object landed on our patio table as we were relaxing sipping tea. Good Lands! I exclaimed, what can that be? My wife immediately recognized it as a UFO. I noticed that it was about 6 inches long and about 3 inches wide. It made a humming sound as it landed. The humming sound continued for about 3 minutes and then began to slowly die down. We didn't know what to think about that, so we just sat there flabbergasted and bewildered staring at the UFO. Suddenly we saw the door in the side of the UFO open, and out stepped 3 little orange colored men about 2 inches tall. One of them said Hello JAG, how are you? I'm doing just fine. I replied, and I hope you are doing well yourself. Listen I said, is that a spaceship you all just landed on my patio table? Yes it is, said one of the little orange men. Then they introduced themselves. The one who first spoke to me said he was the leader and that his name was Qzxzzxzzxzqqqxq, but I could just called him Bob, because that would make things much less complicated. The other two introduced themselves as Henry and Tom. Okay I said, and by the way, where are you all from? We're from the Andromeda Galaxy some 2.5 million light years from Earth, said Bob. Well I said, that's interesting Bob. What planet are you from? Sorry, replied Bob, but we can't tell you that, its classified. Okay Bob I said, can you tell me why you all have landed your spaceship on my patio table? We were sent to Earth just to see you JAG, said Henry. Good lands! I replied, why me? Why would you travel all that distance just to see me? We came to tell you that Donald Trump is not really an Earthling. What? I exclaimed, you mean he's not one of us? That's right, said Henry. Donald Trump is from another planet and he was sent here to Earth to prepare you Earthlings for more and more friendly visits from we visitors from Outer Space. Really? I exclaimed, You mean they're coming here to be our friends? To help us? Yes indeed, replied Bob. There is a lot we know that can help you Earthlings, a whole lot. Can you give me an example, I asked. Sure I can, replied Bob. You JAG are a Postmillennialist, and we can tell you that we know for an absolute fact, that Postmillennialism is the absolute truth. I always knew it was, I replied, but it makes my heart glad to hear it from you good folks out there in the Andromeda Galaxy. What else can you tell me that will cheer my heart, I asked. We can tell you JAG, that you are a solid gold human being, and we have great hopes for you. Thank you very much I replied, and may the Force be with you. Thanks JAG, and may the Force be with you too, and the wifey as well. My wife smiled at hearing that, and said, "Thanks guys, much appreciated." Well, said Bob, we have to be getting back home. It was nice chatting with you JAG, and we'll be in touch. Sounds good to me, you all take care now. Goodbye JAG. So long fellows, I said. Then Bob, and Tom, and Henry returned to their spaceship and took off into the blue yonder. The end. LOL . . .
Yes we can trust Trump. Trump is our friend! Trump is from the planet Jupiter and he was sent here to Earth to prepare us for more and more friendly visits from alien visitors from Outer Space. I hope the aliens have a cure for the Democratic Party, the COVID virus, the Flu, Joe Biden, MSNBC, Liberalism, Health Nazis, and the heart break of Psoriasis. LOL
I believe you to. One of the UFOs sighted in 2014 by US Navy pilots was described as being approximately the size of the suitcase. Obviously the ship you sighted was to small to have covered the vast distance from Andromeda all by itself. This one must have been one of the mother ships.
LOL . . . many thanks. Sounds like a cool size for a spaceship. I'd guess the aliens inside the suitcase size spaceship were very tiny, maybe only 1/32 of an inch tall. That'd make sense. Well, aliens have great powers. I think I have the solution to the problem: These particular aliens have the ability to shrink their size and the size of their spaceship. Why would they do that? Answer: Its a secret and the aliens have not yet shared the reason with me. LOL Anything is possible here in this Realm Of The Crazy. LOL again ______ Monash, thanks for taking the time to read my nutty Opening Post and for your comments. ` `
Cosmos, thanks for stopping in and for your comment. Maybe The Donald is from Jupiter AND Uranus? Before coming to Earth -- 1/2 year on Jupiter and 1/2 year on Uranus. Maybe ALL the D.C. politicians are aliens. I'm pretty sure Nancy is from Mars. And that Joe is from . . well. . . . er.. I don't know where Joe is from? . . LOL . . `
"They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat. They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars." "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines." "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact." "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat." "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat." "Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage." "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?" "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside." "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through." "No brain?" "Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!" "So... what does the thinking?" "You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat." "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!" "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?" "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat." "Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years." "So what does the meat have in mind." "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual." "We're supposed to talk to meat?" "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing." "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat." "I thought you just told me they used radio." "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?" "Officially or unofficially?" "Both." "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing." "I was hoping you would say that." "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?" "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?" "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact." "So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe." "That's it." "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?" "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them." "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream." "And we can marked this sector unoccupied." "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?" "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotation ago, wants to be friendly again." "They always come around." "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."
LOL Bill, you have got talent. Writing talent. That was really good. I mean REALLY good. Welcome to the Forum. I hope you hang around. I hope my story I Believe In UFO's inspired your story. That'd make me feel good. LOL Yeah "Meat" I hope it was beef meat. I like beef. Bill its nice to meat you , , I mean to meet you. Maybe you can join us over in the Religion section of the Forum. And give us your insights on the deeper profundities of life here on the Planet. Best. JAG PS Your meat story made my day. ``
Bill, I had to google meme. meme- an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation. Help me out with "memes" -- what do you mean by that? Did you draw the cartoon? JAG
I did create that engines meme. Images that tell a short ironic story usually accompanied by a short explanation. This is a meme:
All I can say is that if an advanced technological culture can make it to Earth, they are not coming here to help us and we are in existential trouble.
I was raised by a man who had a working knowledge these. Long story short, round ones friendly, cigar shaped ones hostile.
If you want to know the best theory I have every heard from a guy who was an F-14 Tomcat RIO/Pilot. You guys should check out Ward Carrolls Youtube account. His was also a professor at the academy and involved in a lot of military movies as well. AMAZING guy
The only problem I have with UFO's, they only appear infront of someone that owns the world's crappiest camera. Unless the person is behind a television quality camera and sober, anyone believing in UFO's should be confined to a safe room cladded in mattresses. Imo.
Everybody believes in UFO's, that is, in Unidentified Flying Objects including you. My guess is that you just don't believe that aliens are riding around in them. Best JAG []
Suppose President Reagan and Eisenhower said they both saw an extraterrestrial vehicle and met its occupants and negotiated with them? Suppose this was all reported by Air Force top brass? Suppose there was a rather old video of an interview with them telling you that on camera? Suppose you watch the video in post 15 above? Why haven’t you seen these by now?
Yeah, amazing guy. But then why did he come to the absurd conclusion that if there is no alien civilization on Mars, then it isn’t alien crafts being seen? It seems he running from what he sees as a possible undesirable reputation. Also, what about Presidents who said they met with and negotiated with extraterrestrials?
