I have heard arguments that it is completely understandable if one spouse/partner cheats due to the infrequency of 'sexual encounters'. I'm not talking about couples who have sex once a yr, rather ones who have it at least twice a week, but is not enough for the other partner. What is your take?
So, you're saying you support the position that cheating is acceptable if it's because of insufficient frequency of sex but you want to set the frequency. You must be a liberal. What if the frequency is okay but you're wife's idea of sex involves tying you up and beating you with a golf club? Is cheating okay then. Does quality figure in as well as quantity? If you think I'm not taking this totally seriously, you're right.
''I'' am not saying anything, I am getting a discussion going. Did you read my first sentence? It's funny that you called me a liberal all on a misinterpretation though, lol.
Whatever your significant other considers cheating ... is cheating. No one else can make a valid call on the subject except for the people involved in the relationship. You can ask a bunch of people to validate your cheating but in the end none of their opinions matter.
Once again, I am NOT advocating anything. Sometimes I prefer not to always give my stance right at the opening post, I like to get the discussions going first and then share a little deeper into my views. Since I already know my views, it's more interesting to hear other people's take. Also many times when you share your views, people piggy back off what you say instead of making their own statements not influenced by the op, if that makes sense. For the record, I have NEVER cheated (and don't plan on it) in my marriage and do NOT condone cheating, PERIOD. I hope it's clear now and the topic can be discussed<shrugs>
I wasn't insinuating you were. I have had this discussion plenty of times (mostly guy friends asking for a female to validate their actions). I have friends across the board on the topic, from ones in open marriages to ones that would have a huge fight over having their mate speaking to someone they aren't related to and of the gender they are attracted to. Their relationships are a personal agreement between them, so what is cheating and what is ok varies from relationship to relationship. That is why my answer always is, it is whatever your mate thinks cheating is. The situation you described would not be considered ok by most people. If someone can not meet your needs, either they need to be ok with you screwing other people or you need to find someone else to be with. Again any "you's" are not personally pointed at traditional.
Ok, thanks for clarifying, and my apologies. I too have heard men say that it's understandable to cheat if the woman is only giving it up 2-3 times a week, and her man wants it everyday. One guy even went as far as comparing it to food. Hence why this thread was created.
I think its kind of like trying to excuse punching your spouse in the face. Having two or more (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)s agree with you isn't going to make it right and I'm sure deep down most know that. Your a jerk if you choose to be in a monogamous relationship when you have no intention of being monogamous? Man up and be honest, there are enough fish in the sea to find one that meets your honest needs.
If I don't think my employer is paying me enough, would it be OK for me to steal some stationary to make up the difference? Cheating is cheating, full stop. If you have issues with the nature of your relationship, you discuss it with your partner. If you can't resolve the issues one way or another, you either have to accept the situation or end the relationship.
I can see how that would be a problem, and how that can affect a marriage. Still, if you're at that point, if you have any respect for your partner, you need to try and work it out. You can't stay silent. You have to communicate. And if nothing helps(and sometimes nothing will), you just need to sit down and think about whether it's something you can live with. If it is, keep at it. If it isn't, get a divorce. Be honest with yourself. Just don't disrespect yourself and your partner, and any children you may have, by cheating.
If you cheat due to lack of, or not enough, sex, you are a lowlife scumbag. Cheating is almost never okay - the only times I would find it understandable is if the husband or wife was away for a very long period of time (I am thinking of the men and women serving overseas and their partners who wait for them) or if the woman was being abused and neglected by her husband. I don't know why anyone would think it is okay to cheat if the wife wants sex once a week and you want it once a day. There is such a thing as masturbation, and that should work just fine, rather than cheating on your missus because your nagging her for sex doesn't work. Did I mention I don't like cheaters?
I would say the partner that risks the marriage because twice a week isn't enough is a sex addict. I CAN understand a partner getting frustrated because the other partner isn't willing every night...I bet that is a common conflict. But to risk your marriage.....that pretty bad priorities.
While it is "understandable" from a human perspective for someone to seek sexual intimacy outside of their marriage due to an extreme lack of intimacy within the marriage, I still consider it wrong because of my faith.
