if Jesus returned tomorrow

Discussion in 'Religion & Philosophy' started by crank, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    and was roughly the age at his 'death' (early 30's), would he be a sex symbol? would fangirls and fanboys follow him on tour? would he be lusted after by young women (and men)? could he, in fact, hope to avoid such a fate?
     
  2. Micketto

    Micketto New Member Past Donor

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  3. prospect

    prospect New Member

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    LOL He would be the ultimate rockstar. :smile:
     
  4. Vicariously I

    Vicariously I Well-Known Member

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    You're right on this one. Republicans do seem to be obsessed with Obama and his image, his name, his looks, his skin color, they spend so much time making images of him and spreading them around the internet you kinda have to feel sorry for them.
     
  5. Jonsa

    Jonsa Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    And the very first response is about Obama. Guess he is the "Jesus" figure opposed to the conservatives "Caiaphus".
     
  6. rwild1967

    rwild1967 Banned at Members Request Past Donor

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    Back to the original topic, I think it would be unavoidable in today's society.
     
  7. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    that's what I thought, too. even if he was an ordinary looking, hairy little man, he'd still be bob Dylan - so to speak. I don't recall Dylan ever being short of attention in his prime. I think his sexual/romantic popularity would be off the scale .... and would swiftly subsume gentle reminders to be kind to one another. assuming that's what he came to do, as opposed to warning us that dad was starting to get crazy eyes again.

    you can imagine it ... the race would be on to see who could bed him first. it'd be the ultimate conquest.
     
  8. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    is Bazza actually Jesus? who knew!
     
  9. Swensson

    Swensson Devil's advocate

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    I doubt it. He'd be ignored in favour of people with better teeth whitener and agents.
     
  10. The Wyrd of Gawd

    The Wyrd of Gawd Well-Known Member

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    Just remember: when Jesus returns he's going to institute a rigid theocratic government that will make ISIS look like a liberal paradise. I'm sure some fanatics will suck up to him.
     
  11. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    well yes, but .... Bob Dylan!

    power, or perceived power, is a stronger pheromone than white teeth and agents. he'd be a stronger brew than prince harry (though the red hair on the latter IS a very heady brew). the most eligible male the world has ever known. women with an eye to the future would use every wile available to them to acquire his heavenly seed.
     
  12. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    so you think more 'crazy eyes' than 'be kind to one another'?

    I guess that was the long range weather forecast. still, it won't stop the girlies. I imagine even those raving hornbags, the north Korean power donkeys, have to fend off the attentions of ambitious women.
     
  13. Swensson

    Swensson Devil's advocate

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    Now, if Bob Dylan came back from the dead, that would be a different matter. Problem is that nobody would be able to identify Jesus. Many churches would see him as a crackpot with some wounds.
     
  14. The Wyrd of Gawd

    The Wyrd of Gawd Well-Known Member

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    A lot of women love crazy men.
     
  15. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    it's funny you should say that! a friend of mine just returned from a holiday, on which she reported seeing Dylan "onstage and awake" :D

    re the crackpot with wounds ... I'm working to the premise that he's somehow verified as JC. doesn't work if we need to machete our way through a forest of 'but how?'s
     
  16. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    I had a thing for Benicio del Toro for a long time ... primarily on account of the crazy eyes/crazy hair (with a side of very fine acting and his special brand of smoulder) He hasn't aged well, however, so he's long since been mulched.
     
  17. Fugazi

    Fugazi New Member Past Donor

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    I think he would probably be denounced by every major religion .. there is no way they are going to let go of the hangman's noose they have around so many peoples throats.
     
  18. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    see my response to Swenss, above. we're working on premise that he'd be recognised and revered.
     
  19. Fugazi

    Fugazi New Member Past Donor

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    Even if he was recognised the major religions would still denounce him, they have held power for too long to give it up without a fight now.
     
  20. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    yes, of course. but you're talking about the real world.

    I'm dabbling in ideas, here. or trying to :blankstare:
     
  21. FoxHastings

    FoxHastings Well-Known Member

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    I'd like him to visit the Vatican and start talking about camels, the eye of a needle , and rich men.
     
  22. Colonel K

    Colonel K Well-Known Member

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    They'd replace the cross with an electric chair and send him back. a la Lenny Bruce
     
  23. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    if it could be worked into the tour schedule, I suppose it could be done. unless he landed there in the first place ... which would be funny!

    - - - Updated - - -

    who would? the girlfans? why?
     
  24. The Wyrd of Gawd

    The Wyrd of Gawd Well-Known Member

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    According to the Bible Jesus isn't a nice guy. He condemned whole towns to hell because the people didn't believe in his magic tricks. He wants to set up an oppressive thousand year theocracy where he will be the dictator. And when he shows up again he will kill all life and destroy the world.
     
  25. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    even given his heavy schedule of mayhem and destruction, you'd expect he could find a few spare hours to service the fans before killing them. it would get complicated if he impregnated one (or several) though .. which he'd know about before hand .. because he'd have to consider who the offspring might be .. which he'd already know .. and if said junior was god .. which he'd already know. and if it was god, would he be busted by his dad for shagging on the job .. which he'd already know.
     

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