Naked man with sex toy stuck in bottom howls 'call a doctor' as he begs for help at petrol station

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by The Scotsman, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/naked-man-sex-toy-stuck-12341760

    Priceless...
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2018
  2. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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  3. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    :roflol:... alternative to viagra perhaps...I wonder if he needed re-fills....??
    You must have some cracking stories...
     
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  4. Diablo

    Diablo Well-Known Member

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    I recall some years ago a vicar who had an apple stuck in his bum.
     
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  5. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    He must have slipped over in the orchard!
     
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  6. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I used to work at hospitals all over Los Angeles, including what was then Hollywood Community Hospital.

    Hamsters and gerbils stuck up the rear were common... well... more common than one would hope!
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I remember a story published in a medical journal, about a worker at a machine shop. He came into the ER with tremendous swelling in his testicles... or what turned out to be one testicle. After a great deal of equivocation he finally admitted the real story. When everyone else would leave for lunch, he would masturbate by holding himself against a running piece of equipment. He got too close and a moving part ripped off a testicle.

    Bad enough? What he did then is even better. Using an industrial stapling gun, he tried to fix the wound.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
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  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    The radiologist could only stare in wonder at the little blockages he was seeing in his patient's bowel. There must have been around a dozen of them. But they didn't look like anything he had ever seen before. As he examined the x-ray closely, he noticed what seemed to be the profile of a little face. WTF?!?! As he looked closer, there seemed to be quite a few little faces.

    One can only imagine how much questioning was required before the patient admitted to the truth. He was ripping the heads off of small toy dolls and swallowing them. He would then masturbate as they came out.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A veritable nut case!
     
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Well, he always heard that a little head was a good.
     
  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Did you ever hear this one?
    http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread795494/pg1
     
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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I have always wondered what happened to all of the headless dolls.
     
  14. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I had to look up Biro.

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. They tortured people that way in Vietnam.
     
  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    "There's a fine line between pleasure and pain", la la la.
     
  16. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Shame on you.
    (snicker)
     
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  17. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    I had to look it up too. I hope to God it's a pen and not...
     
  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    OMG!
     
  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    ah too bad, it's just an urban legend.

    In fact it is claimed that the whole gerbil thing is an urban legend. Apparently there are no known examples from an ER. I knew people at Hollywood Community who claimed to have seen it themselves. But then you never know. Maybe they only heard about such stories.
     
  20. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Just another example of a basic truth: If you heard it on talk radio, it probably isn't true.
     
  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Still funny.
     
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  22. DoctorWho

    DoctorWho Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Apr 25, 2018
  23. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Now you know what he has stuck up his a@@.
     
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  24. Spooky

    Spooky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  25. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I kid you not, I know a guy who was very drunk with his girlfriend and both had vibrating butt plugs. After frolics, he was searching everywhere in the bedroom but couldn't find the vibrating butt plug. His girlfriend hugged him and said calm down.

    Then she realised he was vibrating. It had gone right up his bum. He told me he squatted in the bath tub and tried to poop and it shot out. He had images of going to hospital to get it removed. I honestly nearly pee'd myself when he told me.

    PS - I was concerned he told me. :ashamed:
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2018
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