My ONE problem with homosexual men

Discussion in 'Gay & Lesbian Rights' started by Greenleft, Dec 7, 2018.

  1. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    In an age where political correctness has often gone too far there’s a need to define ‘harass’. Is greeting a workmate (Buddy in US) with ‘High spunk’ harassment? Or are we talking about serious groping as elucidated by President Trump (with a different target)’Grabbing them on the *****’?
    (Wonder if he thought of trying that with Queen Elizabeth?)
    From my perspective I’ll continue to tell straight male friends, associates “How I wish you were gay. What a waste” or something along those lines. So far I’ve never had a negative reaction to that line and I’ve been using it for decades. Am I stepping into the political correctness war zone?
    Interestingly I’ve been told by straight male friends they’re getting apprehensive about even asking females out for a date as they’re triggering ‘Me-too’ negative overreactions.
     
  2. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I must direct you to what the OP specifically mentioned. That's an excerpt from the first page.
    We aren't talking about good natured teasing or playfulness any person would expect really from just about any demographic, we aren't talking about a gay guy asking a straight guy on a date or for sex.

    We are talking about something if it were done in the US would be an illegal act.
     
  3. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  4. Greenleft

    Greenleft Well-Known Member

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    Since this thread won't drop, I might as well respond to some things:

    1. I tried to be as fair as possible. If it was unclear, I apologize so here it is: heterosexual people do this practice in equal measure. The reason I focused on homosexual men is because of unique circumstances and dynamics. For one, there are stories where undercover police exposed high profile individuals doing this indicating that there might be a link with being in the closet (read the whole thread). Second, homosexual men have one less obstacle to dodge that is gender segregation for bathrooms.

    2. I've been accused of over reacting if this were to happen to me. With some thought, this accusation was only partially correct. Let's run down the scenarios:

    A man flashes me by the urinal or the sink. You are right that I should not outright assault him. But I would consider it harassment, indecent exposure and lewd conduct. I would be in the right to run out of the bathroom alerting the police and the general public of the pervert inside. There are reasons for laws enforcing modesty. Unless you are exceptionally attractive (and even then, only in the right circumstances), nobody wants to see you naked. You might be able to make a joke to the flasher, but I would still do a knee jerk reaction.

    I am in the stall doing my business and someone: a. makes verbal suggestions through the door. b. reaches in over or under the stall with a hand or foot. c. actually uses a glory hole. For a. I should throw profanity at them indicating my disapproval at their disturbance. Yes, here violence is NOT necessary. For b. I don't see anything wrong with stomping on a foot or hand or smacking it away if it is above the stall. For c. a kick or a stomp on the man's jewels is DEFINITELY well deserved for a man foolish enough not to know who is on the other side.

    A man actually lays his hands on me and pushes me to a wall. This would definitely call for physical self defense.
     
  5. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Many aspects of human behaviour puzzle me, many scare the living daylights out of me such as the design and construction of nuclear weapons. I can understand a straight man feeling squeamish having another wave his wedding tackle ( sorry, an Oz expression for organ of reproduction) but I can never understand anyone finding nudity itself disturbing. OK, I know I’d be horrified if President Trump exposed his anatomy at me but I wouldn’t run off screaming 'There’s a pervert exposing himself’. Reminds me of an episode one morning walking through a park opposite my place of work.
    A male exposed himself to me. I stared him right in his privates telling him. “My 14 year old brother’s got one twice as big” He got out of there fast..
    OK, if the same thing happened to a woman I can understand it being a fright but by that stage of my life I’d acquired several black belts in martial arts so maybe my perspective was warped. Anyhow, I disapprove of men flashing at other men in public toilets etc but want to make the point again that the vast majority of those who do so these days are closeted, usually with a wife back home. The other aspect of this behaviour I find worrying is surveys by health authorities reveal a high percentage of AIDS transmission happens in such settings but that’s another issue. I suspect however the reaction of some straight men to being propositioned in such a setting isn’t so much being repulsed by what they see as being insulted the perpetrator thought they were ‘after a bit’ too.

    As to a man actually laying his hands on me and pushing me to a wall? In all the years of my misguided youth huanting parks and toilets nothing like that ever happened to me. At times I found myself wishing it would. Being very young however the majority of gay men regarded me as jail bait and wouldn’t go near me.
    And yes, I started being a slut at a very early age.
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2019
  6. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2019
  7. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I understood what you said,. and when people point out that. Heterosexuals do it to that's whataboutism.

    I think you articulated your point clearly.
     
  8. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Can I give the original poster a tip? If you have some idiot wave his wedding tackle at you again uninvited just ask him “Does your wife know” and see what reaction you get. If that’s going too far ask “Does your partner know”.
     
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  9. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Why is it that when I run into the cruisers they always seem to be in relationships with women?
     
  10. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Because you hang around places that attract closet cases? I’ve been out of the closet now since I was 16 and stopped bashing the beat (Oz for hanging around public toilets & parks for sex) about the same time. I paid the cost though of being thrown out of the family home but I survived.

    With the advent of gay clubs, pubs etc there’s no need for flopping it out in front of strangers who may not be gay. Now we have GRINDR etc there really is no excuse. The trick is to get all those married men to tell their wives/partners about their little hobby on the side. Something they often don’t want to admit even to themselves.
     
  11. Greenleft

    Greenleft Well-Known Member

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    Do you have any thoughts (just curious) on the undercover cops exposing George Michael and Larry Craig doing this? You have advice for how to personally handle it, but do you think there should be undercover cops in all public bathrooms?
     
  12. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I don't really hang out in such places as but occasionally I find myself there.

    That's interesting that they indulge in it but they don't want to admit it to themselves. I was the other way around.
     
  13. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Seems like such a thing happened Because there was a problem. If there is a problem that is spilling out into regular public life then yes I think the police should do something about it. I think he uniformed presence does more than stings.
     
  14. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Police and what they historically got up to in Australia in this setting is worth considering. Baristers representing gay men arrested for exposing themselves in public toilets etc tell of a consistent pattern of plain clothes police allowing their targets to perform a full sex act BEFORE arresting them. There’s little of this happening now in Australia but it’s rife in Russia, Iran, Pakistan etc.
    The situation in Iran I witnessed myself. A colleague who was familiar with bath houses invited me ome day to his favourite . Whilst there the religious police raided the place. Those men caught taking a passive role were arrested and given a choice between a state funded sex change or stoning to death. The proceecure was often conducted by the medically unqullified with fatal results. Those found having sex in the active role were often hit with large ON THE SPOT fine and a warning. The funds went straight into the pockets of the religious police. When Islamic clerics were themselves caught they were moslty only ever given a warning. I doubt such protocols are listed formally anywhere whithin sharia law.
     
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  15. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Correction to my previous mess - - - - -
    Police and what they historically got up to in Australia in this setting is worth considering. Barristers representing gay men arrested for exposing themselves in public toilets etc tell of a consistent pattern of plain clothes police allowing their targets to perform a full sex act BEFORE arresting them. There’s little of this happening now in Australia but it’s rife in Russia, Iran, Pakistan etc.
    The situation in Iran I witnessed myself. A colleague who was familiar with bath houses invited me one day to his favourite . Whilst there the religious police raided the place. Those men caught taking a passive role were arrested and given a choice between a state funded sex change or stoning to death. The procedure was often conducted by the medically unqualified with fatal results. Those found having sex in the active role were often hit with large ON THE SPOT fine and a warning. The funds went straight into the pockets of the religious police. When Islamic clerics were themselves caught they were mostly only ever given a warning. I doubt such protocols are listed formally anywhere within sharia law.
     
  16. Robert E Allen

    Robert E Allen Banned

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    First off i have to believe this is very rare.
    However if it's sexual harassment for a man to do it to a woman then it must be considered sexual harassment for anyone to do it to anyone else.
    Also, it should only reflect badly on thoes who do it. No group of people is guilty of this behavior.
     
  17. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Maybe not if you don’t include ’flashers’ within a single group. I’ve never been able to get my head around the psychology of those who find it an erotic stimulation to wave their wedding tackle at strangers yet don’t appear to need to go any further.
     

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