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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?

    They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 19, 2019
    #1401
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  2. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    I'm beginning to think Nonnie is still a virgin. :(
     
    BaghdadBob, Jul 19, 2019
    #1402
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  3. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    You're not alone....so do his kids.
     
    StillBlue, Jul 19, 2019
    #1403
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  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'm not cos I did your mum :hiding:
     
    Nonnie, Jul 19, 2019
    #1404
  5. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    Oh, Nonnie, stop pretending that every time you do a barnyard animal that it's someone's mom. Geez. :roll: Sheep are just sheep.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019
    BaghdadBob, Jul 19, 2019
    #1405
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  6. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You're thinking of Baaaaarbara.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 19, 2019
    #1406
  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jul 19, 2019
    #1407
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  8. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    The home-owner was delighted with the way the painter...
    ... had done all the work on his house.
    "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."
    Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?"
    "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
     
    Sallyally, Jul 20, 2019
    #1408
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  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I saw that Scotland is producing twice the power they need, from wind power.

    I'm not surprised. The are tapping the pressure differential created by all of the hot air in Scottish bars.

    What does it take to make two Scotsmen fight?









    Two Scotsmen.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2019
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 20, 2019
    #1409
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  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?














    Sheep can hear zippers!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 20, 2019
    #1410
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Erica Thomas Jussie Smollett'ed yesterday to hilarious results
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 21, 2019
    #1411
  12. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What's a mobile phone and Princess Diana got in common?

    They both go dead in a tunnel.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 21, 2019
    #1412
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  13. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Nurse,” an anxious mother whimpers, “can you please tell me how my son is? He’s the one who swallowed the quarters.”

    “No change yet,” the nurse replies.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 21, 2019
    #1413
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    09E56563-21EF-4E1F-ACBB-7E7CE074A01F.jpeg
     
    Sallyally, Jul 21, 2019
    #1414
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  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Why make Scottish jokes? With only 5.5 million people, only a million more than the city of Los Angeles, there is only a 7 in 10,000 chance that a Scotsman will read it,

    True story: The Scots are known to be fighters at the drop of a hat. I knew two Scottish sheep farmers who were identical twins. They often ended up in a fist fight with each other.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2019
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I have a better reason, they're Scottish
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 21, 2019
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  17. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Well, there is that. But...

     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2019
    #1417
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  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2019
    #1418
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  19. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I don't think as many as 7 in 10,000 can read.
     
    Nonnie, Jul 21, 2019
    #1419
  20. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Being identical how often did they hit themselves thinking they were hitting their brother?
     
    StillBlue, Jul 21, 2019
    #1420
  21. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I don't know, but you'll never meet anyone who hates sheep with more passion. :D
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2019
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  22. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    They would say that wouldn't they.
     
    Montegriffo, Jul 21, 2019
    #1422
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  23. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Funny aside: One of them was on the Dick Van Dyke Show with his Border Collies, way back when. He was known to have some of the best dogs in the business. We actually got one of them.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2019
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2019
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  24. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    At the outpatient surgery center where I work...
    ..., the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.
    One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
    When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?"
    "Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
     
    Sallyally, Jul 21, 2019
    #1424
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  25. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    News Conference At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this." "The truth is," replied Donald Trump, "That she has a big mouth."
     
    Sallyally, Jul 21, 2019
    #1425
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