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Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Apr 14, 2020.

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  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A couple of Yogi Berra's teammates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
     
    Sallyally, May 10, 2020
    #276
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  2. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Phyxius, May 11, 2020
    #277
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  3. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Boris has said water sports will be allowed from Wednesday, but his message was confusing.
    .
    .
    .
    Do I piss on the prostitute or does she pee on me?
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 11, 2020
    #278
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  4. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Ask Donald.
     
    Sallyally, May 11, 2020
    #279
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  5. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    Yogi was great for quotable quotes known as Yogi-isms.

    1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

    2. You can observe a lot by just watching.

    3. It ain’t over till it’s over.

    4. It’s like déjà vu all over again.

    5. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

    6. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

    7. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

    8. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

    9. We made too many wrong mistakes.

    10. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

    11. You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.

    12. You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

    13. I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.

    14. Never answer an anonymous letter.

    15. Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.

    16. How can you think and hit at the same time?

    17. The future ain’t what it used to be.

    18. I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.

    19. It gets late early out here.

    20. If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
    BaghdadBob, May 11, 2020
    #280
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    When it comes to raping a child is it Bill or Joe I ask?
    joe breast exam.jpg
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
    Liberty Monkey, May 11, 2020
    #281
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  7. yardmeat

    yardmeat Well-Known Member

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    Joe hasn't been accused of raping a child, so far and I know, and both Bill and Trump were buddies with Epstein and Epstein pleaded the 5th when asked if he had ever provided underaged prostituted to Trump. So . . .
     
    yardmeat, May 11, 2020
    #282
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  8. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    this is classic:

    upload_2020-5-11_11-0-31.png
     
    Blaster3, May 11, 2020
    #283
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  9. Blaster3

    Blaster3 Well-Known Member

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    Blaster3, May 11, 2020
    #284
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  10. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    In April it was Covid-19. May brings us Murder Hornets.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
    BaghdadBob, May 11, 2020
    #285
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  11. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    And then there's this late Summer arrival...

    [​IMG]
     
    BaghdadBob, May 11, 2020
    #286
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  12. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    He summed things up nicely!
     
    Sallyally, May 11, 2020
    #287
  13. ToddWB

    ToddWB Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ToddWB, May 11, 2020
    #288
  14. yardmeat

    yardmeat Well-Known Member

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    yardmeat, May 11, 2020
    #289
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Has anyone ever seen Herman and Rachel in the same room together?

    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 12, 2020
    #290
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 12, 2020
    #291
  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 12, 2020
    #292
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  18. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    BaghdadBob, May 12, 2020
    #293
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  19. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    Bullwinkle2.gif
     
    BaghdadBob, May 12, 2020
    #294
  20. BaghdadBob

    BaghdadBob Well-Known Member

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    Who's the creepy looking guy on the left? icon_dunno.gif
     
    BaghdadBob, May 12, 2020
    #295
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 13, 2020
    #296
  22. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.
    “I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”
     
    Sallyally, May 13, 2020
    #297
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I go to the doctors office and describe the stomach pains I’m having
    He asks me to give him a stool sample

    I go to the bathroom and return soon after with a beautiful mahogany wood table.

    The doctor is not amused and kicks me out of his office.

    I continue to **** furniture

    The nightmare goes on
     
    Sallyally, May 13, 2020
    #298
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  24. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Orthodontist
    A guy is on vacation when he gets a huge toothache. He didn't know the language but went around looking anyway because the pain was too much, until he sees something that looked like a doctor's office AND had a huge fake tooth hung outside. He goes in and the doctor agrees to see him. "Doctor my tooth hurts so much please have a look!" The bewildered doctor replies "Huh? I know nothing about teeth, i'm an Obgyn". " What's up with the giant tooth outside then?!" "Well what did you expect me to hang up there??"
     
    Sallyally, May 13, 2020
    #299
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, May 13, 2020
    #300
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