Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Licorice.

 

It's the Vegemite.
If you eat Marmite it is pure white and smells of roses. True fact.

 

Well fielded!

 

Howzat? and I didn't even have to sandpaper my balls.

 

Rough enough already?

 

Smooth, perfectly rounded and painful to have smashed into your face.

 

Me guessing the words to Canada's national anthem:
Cana da da da da
Canada da da da
*sung to the tune of The Star-Spangled Banner no less.

If I wanted to be offensive, I'd have sung my own anthem...
...

I don't know the Canadian national anthem.


Oh wait, on second thought, I do.

Spoiler

It's

Oh Canada....

Spoiler

I was thinking of the above scene, but in my head I still heard this!

I can't believe I forgot that and thought it was
'Cana da da da da'

 

You could have at least give the entire first line of the real anthem:

Oh Cana da, da da da da da da...

 

Why don't we just make world cities its own country on different continents, so you don't need a visa going from one from another?
Just when entering or exiting that city from the country it's in; since, culturally; these places have more in common with each other sometimes.

That should help global business too.

Could call this country Metropolis in English for all I care, or MET for short.

 

Wait a sec. Shouldn't this read DUMP TRUMP BECAUSE OF TRUMP DUMP?

 

Lord let these be cricket references.

 

I'm just trying to bowl a maiden over.

 

As a highly trained Canadian Government Agent of Change, I can not reveal that your name has been noted and when our brilliant plan to subjugate America comes to its beautific conclusion, you will be visited by our team of ace Anthem teachers for a rigorous course on how to sing it in both official languages.

 

Jabers!

 

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't think I've ever seen such inept golf!"The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'll contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

 

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

 

Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get the great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'" The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."