Were you in a war? I've known some people with PTSD. My first hand knowledge came from hearing random screams in the middle of the night.
I look at it as society of the day having a safe zone for the definition of 'sane'. What is considered sane today would have been grounds for getting stuffed inside an 'insane' asylum a century ago. By their very nature, humans are inately borderline mental cases by the standards of any society since we are hyper intelligent predators. A genetic mutation shot our intelligence into the megasphere in comparison to other creatures, making each and everyone of us inherently unstable. Most of us can fake it 'til we make it in 'polite' society. Some cannot. Ironically, a century from now it's possible that those types would fit in just fine.
I wish this wasn't a common story. I know two people who went through that. I hope you have lots of coping strategies.
Like I said, I'm ok during the day. I get by with low dose of anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication for the day and I've a controlled sleep inducing medication for the night. Unless something stress me out during the day or if I see something that reminds me of my past, I can make do without the sleeping pills.
You write about this a lot and I cannot help but to ask you; Why do you let your medical journals rule you? The fact that you are Autistic is completely out of your control and allowing it to rule you is very dangerous and it is no wonder you are depressed with that kind of sense of life. You have the capacity to be great.
