Ask someone who is Transgender anything!

Damn! My bad. I totally forgot about that. Far too many people in the LGBT community share stories like that. From going from a home and a family to effectively nothing once they come out.

Well then Kranes, my next question is "How you holding up?" With being homeless do you have anyone to help you out? Any way to get on your feet?

 

What I mean about a transsexual woman being born a man is that when her mother gave birth to her, she had a penis attached to her. Anyway, you say it's bigotry when that is the sole reason for not dating. What needs to happen for it to be called bigotry? If a man were to approach a transsexual woman with the idea of getting a date out of her, and she then reveals the fact that she is transsexual early on in the interaction and then the man walks away, is that bigotry? OR if the man does not realize the woman is transsexual and the woman does not immediately reveal it, and then when the fact is revealed during the date the man walks away in disgust?

In other words, what scenarios would be considered bigotry and what scenarios would not?

 

Thats admirable. I was asking about the military, tho. How would they know you're trans? It seems to me all you would have to do to join is not tell them.

 

I wouldn't call that bigotry I would call that a preference. If I offend you with what I'm about to say please forgive me that is not my intent.

You May feel that yes you're a woman through and through but others may not. And quite frankly they have plenty of reason to think that. Some people think in order to be a woman or a man for that matter you have to have been born male or female respectively. Now you may feel that that's bigotry but I don't. I personally have no issue interacting with transgender people on the day to day but I don't see myself dating one. I would give it a shot if I were single. But generally speaking I want a man Andaman to me was born male.

That isn't bigotry that's different opinions. Saying one opinion is wrong while the other one is not is bigotry.

To be honest I'm quite surprised with how many men don't care they would date a transgender person.

 

We have a guy at work like that and he is in a critical job so everyone is compelled by necessity to deal with him. Like anything else, after you know someone like this and work with them you get used to it.

At first when I first saw him/her it was appalling -- boobs and makeup on what was obviously a male.

But like I said after speaking with him often enough and conferring on work related matters that touch upon both his responsibility and mine you/I get/got used to it.

Still it seems like a terrible thing to do to your body.

The East German female athletes are famous for loading up on testosterone and then growing beards and losing their teats. Some of them have converted to male. That does not gross me out as much as a male converting to female though.

Whatever floats your boat.

My only question is what possessed to commit such insanity ??

 

I suppose trans bashing is an extreme manifestation of gay bashing.

I cannot imagine anyone wanting to touch or otherwise bash a trans however.

 

Are you arguing then that you have a right to stay in your parent's home?

When people start talking about "rights" often I find out they are really talking about a wish list, not any sort of legally enforceable rights protected by law, and it looks like that's the case here.

 

Eh. It's approaching the one year anniversary and I'm kinda a mess about it. I'm in college now. My campus has been really supportive and thanks to them I was able to survive the winter. During the summer they even let me have a place for pretty cheap. I didn't end up taking it but I'm still in college.

A trans woman, was never born a man. That's the first thing to realize. She always was female. No matter what genitalia a person has, it has nothing to do with their gender identity.

As for bigotry, it's when it's about sex. If you can't have sex with a woman, then chances are it's because it's a certain kind of woman. We want to say that not dating an African American woman is bigotry if done because of the color of her skin. The question becomes is it a reasonable discrimination? Both partners have to agree to having a child so reproduction isn't a good argument. In terms of genitalia, it's not as clear but it's the same thing. It's workable to get around it and to be pleasurable for all parties involved.

It's not admirable. It's something that I do because I want to stay alive lol.

I would assume the military has to do a background check on me first.

But is the preference based on something that is reasonable? That's the issue. There are a lot of things that all couples wish their significant other wouldn't do. But that isn't grounds for breaking up. They work with it. That's love. So if you say you like women, then dating a person like me isn't an issue. I'm still a woman afterall. But if that person only wants to use me for sex, that's might be unreasonable.

It's not insanity. It's who I am. If anything I'm healthier now than I was in the past. I felt like I had to exercise all the time to the point where I was underweight and got scars on my legs from biking so much. It wasn't good. But now I'm actually doing much better.

As for your coworker, what pronouns do they use?

*A trans person. Trans is an adjective, not a noun.

But it's not gay bashing. They are two separate things. One bashes someone for being gay. The other for being trans. Very different things.

 

Yuk.

 

Since when do rights have to be legally enforced? There are plenty of de facto rights a person has that exist in the natural state. The right to life, liberty, pursuit of happiness etc are good examples of this. The right to a home is an inalienable right brought about by the right to life.

 

There is no right to a home, or in this case, your parent's home. Sorry you got kicked out. I'm sure that sucks, but that doesn't make it a right.

 

Yes it does, a person has a right to life. In order to have a life you need a home. Why else would we care about property rights? It's because things we put work into become extensions of ourselves. To lose them to another person is to lose a piece of yourself.

 

I'm trying to understand honestly. I suppose it all comes down to what people want out of dating.

If it is for just having an emotional bond, I suppose weather a person is transsexual or not has zero importance.

If on the other hand it is about having a family and bringing biological children into the world, that would matter VERY MUCH.

Then if it is for sexual intimacy it get's a little bit complicated. As in your African american argument, it's not that the man judges the African american woman for their qualities as a human being or their contributions to society based of skin color. For lack of a better way to put it, it's that the man who has a preference for another ethnicity cannot maintain an erection (I know that's a more complicated issue, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say). Now, if a man cannot detect the subtle physical superficial differences of a trans woman, perhaps they are being a bigot for refusing to go to bed with a trans woman. If on the other hand, he CAN detect the differences, then you cannot call him a bigot.

What subtle differences you ask? An Adam's apple perhaps, a lower tone of voice, maybe rougher skin or more muscular. That's not to say "natural" women don't have these, but such men would not want to date women with any of these features period.

 

I would say yes it is based on something reasonable. This isn't about what you do it's about what you are or aren't. Dating a person like you wouldn't be an issue if a person considers transwomen to be women. If they consider you to be a man than it would be a problem.

You don't get to tell others that they are wrong if they think of you as not a woman. You can think they are wrong you can believe they are wrong. But they can think what they wish as well.

 

Hmm...I think you need to work through some things.

 

I'm sorry you were kicked out. Your parents aren't doing right by you, but they were probably desperate to save your life. Was it not possible for you to accept their counsel, and re-think the whole thing? Put your family, your general health, and your studies ahead of the focus on your gender? You'd have had a far easier time of college, would still have a home, and would have relieved your very concerned parents of all that pain.

Meantime, I can't agree (at all) that disinclination to date/shag transgender people is bigotry. In fact, the expectation that regular straight people will date transgender people is unproductively fanciful - in the extreme. It's so unlikely in fact, that I'm stunned you (GY) would even canvas the possibility. Perhaps a tiny proportion of not-entirely-straight males might consider it, but they'd be so few and far between that you really only have your own community from which to draw your mates. And if you don't want to date transgenders yourself, why transition?

 

Well yeah but not related to this.

 

Yes I've heard this line before, that it's bigotry that straights and gays (of whatever sex) aren't interested in dating transgenders. They want to date the sex they are attracted to, and an attraction to transgenders seems to be a very tiny slice of the dating pool. More of a fetish really, but that's the option you choose for yourself when you go down this route.

 

You mean "indoctrinate" rather than educate.

 

I never understood why trans people think they can tell others what they should accept is being male or female.

Some people Define it by the physical sex of the person or by the physical sex of the person when they were born.

 

I want to respond to this because this is something we tend to neglect at least I have in this discussion.

Regardless how anybody thinks about trans people they are people first. They should be treated with the same amount of respect that you treat anyone else.

And yes I have a few Choice words to say two parents who disown their children when they have a sexual orientation or gender identity or really anything that doesn't line up with what their parents want for them. But I will hold those words to myself.

 

I have to apologize I got so swept up in the political debate I kind of neglected the reality that I'm talking to a human being about something they are experiencing.

So first I want to commend you for being able to survive and perhaps even thrive after your parents kicked you out. And I would like to say I'm sorry that happened I don't know what value that is to you. But as an LGBT person myself I know that hardship second hand.

Next I want to give you some words of encouragement. Regardless of who you are or how you identify you're a human being and you deserve everything that everyone else deserves. You do not deserve to be assaulted attacked or harassed. And I stand vehemently against that. And also I do believe the number of people out there that are okay with dating or having a relationship with someone who is transgender outnumbers the number of transgender people there are. And it may hurt when they tell you they don't want to date you because of that but in all reality you dodged a bullet.

You should be with someone who can see you the way you see you. I don't think that's impossible.

If there's anything I can do to help send me a PM.

 

Have you seen Blaire White the Youtuber? Her sex change went amazingly well. There is no left over mascalinity about her. I think that is the larger issue heterosexuals have with transgender women is when something is just off with their femeninity.

She is more politically right as well.

 

Yes I am very familiar with Blair White. She does have a boyfriend or fiancee or husband I don't know. But he considers himself straight.

He could see past the transition. There are people who can. Even if the transition isn't as um... successful or complete.... i don't know the right words there.

 

His reaction of when he saw her boy-body pictures gives me the impression that no effort was made and that believing she was ever a man is something he hs trouble wrapping his mind around.

Of course I did say 'heterosexual'. Most people are on a scale of sexual orientation where they have the capacity in being attracted to both male and female traits. I think men and maybe women might feel they cannot entertain those feelings due to the social and/or religious consequences. I think this can cause the person to show interest in the transgender up until the moment they discover they are transgender. I think the transgender, feeling rejected, copes by intrepreting this as bigotry when in fact thw issue is with the other person and their struggle with family, society, and maybe even religion.