Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Derideo_Te, Mar 12, 2020.
Randy rainbow has done it again!
There are only 3 shopping days until quarantine.
What presents are you hoping for?
Ran out of toilet paper.
Heard a dollar works.
Not so much
Made a mess
Then I realized
It was only 95 cents
Trump was told that a stimulus is needed.
He said no thanks, he just saw Stormy.
New from Ford, the 2020 Ventilator.
It comes with a 1 liter engine and can reach speeds of 20 BPM.
Three young women were walking out of a store while I was walking in. They made no effort to keep a little distance so I moved over a step. They all looked at me and laughed. "What are you worried about?!?!" one young woman sniped. So I turned around, smiled, walked over to them, and with great regret I asked if they would forgive me. I reached out to shake, took her hand and kissed the back of it very gently.
You see, I explained, I have the Corona virus and I didn't want to give it to you...
Q: What do they serve for breakfast at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland?
I get it, British humor, Arr Arr.
Trump suffered a Freudian slip today when he announced: My cannon fodder will be attending church on Easter....I mean loyal followers
Trump finally admitted today that in a worst case scenario, we could see 2 million dead in the US from the Corona virus. Already refrigeration trucks are being used to store the dead bodies.
On the up side, trump noted, the refrigerated truck business is booming! MAGA!
Since there are no sports for Vegas betting I have one for their boards.
1) Will Trump sign the first stimulus check in a big televised show? Initial odds 500-1 he will.
2) Will Trump insist that his signature be printed on all the checks sent out despite all treasury checks are to be signed by the secretary of the treasury? Initial odds 100-1 he will.
3) Will Trump announce that he will be personally signing some of the checks and recommend that people not cash them because they'll be worth more than face value thanks to his signature.? Initial odds 50-1 he will.
Now's your chance Trumpers! You could win a ton of money betting that Trump isn't a total narcissistic jerk. A $1 bet rolled over for a trifecta would win you $2.5 million if he does none of the above to promote brand Trump.
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