Gallows Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Derideo_Te, Mar 12, 2020.

  1. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  2. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  3. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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  4. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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  5. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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  6. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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  7. Bowerbird

    Bowerbird Well-Known Member

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    Randy rainbow has done it again!

     
  8. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    There are only 3 shopping days until quarantine.
     
  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    What presents are you hoping for?
     
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  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Ran out of toilet paper.
    Heard a dollar works.
    Not so much
    Made a mess
    Then I realized
    It was only 95 cents
     
  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Trump was told that a stimulus is needed.

    He said no thanks, he just saw Stormy.
     
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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    New from Ford, the 2020 Ventilator.

    It comes with a 1 liter engine and can reach speeds of 20 BPM.
     
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  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Three young women were walking out of a store while I was walking in. They made no effort to keep a little distance so I moved over a step. They all looked at me and laughed. "What are you worried about?!?!" one young woman sniped. So I turned around, smiled, walked over to them, and with great regret I asked if they would forgive me. I reached out to shake, took her hand and kissed the back of it very gently.

    You see, I explained, I have the Corona virus and I didn't want to give it to you...
     
  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Q: What do they serve for breakfast at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland?
    A: Cheerios.
     
  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    I get it, British humor, Arr Arr.

    Cheerio!
     
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  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Trump suffered a Freudian slip today when he announced: My cannon fodder will be attending church on Easter....I mean loyal followers
     
  17. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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  18. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  19. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  20. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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  21. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  22. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  23. LoneStarGal

    LoneStarGal Well-Known Member Past Donor

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  24. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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    Trump finally admitted today that in a worst case scenario, we could see 2 million dead in the US from the Corona virus. Already refrigeration trucks are being used to store the dead bodies.

    On the up side, trump noted, the refrigerated truck business is booming! MAGA!
     
  25. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Since there are no sports for Vegas betting I have one for their boards.
    1) Will Trump sign the first stimulus check in a big televised show? Initial odds 500-1 he will.
    2) Will Trump insist that his signature be printed on all the checks sent out despite all treasury checks are to be signed by the secretary of the treasury? Initial odds 100-1 he will.
    3) Will Trump announce that he will be personally signing some of the checks and recommend that people not cash them because they'll be worth more than face value thanks to his signature.? Initial odds 50-1 he will.

    Now's your chance Trumpers! You could win a ton of money betting that Trump isn't a total narcissistic jerk. A $1 bet rolled over for a trifecta would win you $2.5 million if he does none of the above to promote brand Trump.
     
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