Gay church ladies.

Discussion in 'Gay & Lesbian Rights' started by Polydectes, May 9, 2019.

  1. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    So this is something I've come across. Being a gay man and of course because of that knowing a lot of gay people.

    So a gay church lady, is typically a gay man most of the time they're in the 45 to 50 range. they typically have open polyamorous relationships with multiple partners, and they like to lecture other people particularly younger gay men on how to live as a gay man.

    I am a gay man in a monogamous relationship that is not open. My parents are monogamous and they've been together for 49 years. They seem to be pretty happy. So from the moment I knew that people paired off and got married that's what I wanted.

    However the gay church ladies with whom I've had the displeasure of coming into contact with have told me I'm living a lie. But I've been programs to want a heteronormative lifestyle by heterosexual that didn't want me to be gay in the first place.

    So all of this reminds me of the skit with Dana carvey back on Saturday night live years ago. He was pretending to be a church lady telling people the things they were doing were wrong.

    I figured this would be an interesting topic and I invite people to comment on it.
     
  2. cd8ed

    cd8ed Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Most people believe their way of life is superior.


    I say we are only on this Earth for a short time, do what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else :)
     
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  3. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    Yeaahhh....no! You live as you want. I have several rules of life. One is "there is no one true way". I know lots of monogamous gay couples. Maybe a product of your area?
     
  4. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Product of a changing culture I think. Perhaps in simply a different person than the individuals I was referencing. These types of guys are typically older gentleman xers I grew up in a different culture.
     
  5. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    The politically political folk think that by encouraging monogamy, for gays, is to LEGITIMIZE sodomy, or some such. Even if it is stability in society, which is a legitimate aim, gay or straight.

    Monogamy should be encouraged, as it always has, no matter evangelical gays. They should be labeled as what they are. Trifling.

    But, experimentation should not be criticized, as straights do so when they are in the sowing wild oats stage, however destructive that stage is.
     
  6. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    This phenomenon isn't just different people living different ways. This is people trying to shame others for doing something they detest. It's very similar to the way gay people are treated by some religious groups.


    Well I agree with that philosophy.

    It's just kind of annoying to meet new people particularly older gay men and for them to become so hateful to me and my partner over living the way we choose. I don't lose any sleep over a person exing me out of their life because of the way I love mine, I faced that fear when I came out to my Catholic family. I just find it really odd that it's coming from parts of the LGBT community.
     
  7. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Gay church lady is a euphemism for older gay men who think people like my partner and I are traitors for not being in polyamorous open relationships. Not actual church ladies.
     
  8. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Thus, evangelical gay. That is NOT a church evangelical, but a flamboyant encouraging one.

    I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of people, that want to make what you like to do to reach orgasm, some kind of thing. I DONT CARE. You should not receive any CREDIT, for being gay or straight.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2019
  9. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Okay, I understand.

    I don't get this. Being gay was treated as a detestable thing by almost every religious group when most of these guys were growing up, than to turn around and do that to your own community?

    I wonder if it's out of jealousy. I'm about 15-20 years younger than these guys and it isn't an opportunity they had at my age. Or do they really think gay men should not have any "heteronormative" values?
     
  10. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Jews persecute Palestinians, and should know better. Those abused growing up, should know better than abuse. Such is life. We INCULCATE those in the reality we knew. IT is hazing culture.
     
  11. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    You THREATEN their promiscuity. They fear, that if coupling of gays became the NORM, then they would be stigmatized for it.

    And, that is a legitimate fear, given the history. And aids, bathouses, etc. Promiscuous gays are the ones killed. They have a legitimate fear.
     
  12. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    This isn't hazing. That's normally done in good spirits. This is "I don't ever want to see you again and you are a traitor to your community." The kind of **** you'd expect to hear form your Jahova's witness aunt when you came out as gay.
     
  13. cd8ed

    cd8ed Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I think many older men were unable to have relationships and casual sex — often anonymous— was the only real available option so that has remained their mindset. With the younger crowd the stigma isn’t there and monogamy is what most of them aim for. I never wanted any part of the hookup culture.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2019
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  14. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I've thought about this a lot it's rather perplexing.

    I kicked around a similar idea. Maybe being monogamous proves that gay men can be, and if that's the case they may be shamed for their promiscuity.

    I've talked to friends in the past about hookups and causal sex. I just can't ever picture myself doing that it seems so alien to me. Don't get me wrong I often see people I find attractive but if I don't know them the thought of going off and having sex with them is... Not pleasant to me. I've actually had people ask me after I explained this if I thought I was better than them.

    It seems to stir a really confused look from me.
     
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  15. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Well, there is no reason they can't have monogamous relationships now. Maybe they were in love when they were younger and it left them bitter to the whole concept.

    It's just odd that most of the hatred and animosity I encounter with regard to my relationship actually comes from the gay community. When I first came out they were so open and welcoming but now it's almost like I'm expected to live a certain way. I get crap because of my profession, hobbies and interests even sometimes.
     
  16. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Don't feel so special. We get judged for EVERYTHING we do. You, in a sense, are OFF the reservation, and escape a lot of NORMAL judgements. We get judged as bad, if we CANT love, in the way others INSIST we do etc.
     
  17. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    I think part of it is that monogamous gay men were just quiet and in the background. The ones everyone saw we're the flamboyant flamers that wanted to draw attention. Nowadays, since there is less stigma, the monogamous gay couples are more visible because they don't have to hide.
     
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  18. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Who is we?
     
  19. Guyzilla

    Guyzilla Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    straights.
     
  20. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I honestly thought you were gay. But yeah some people are real touchy about certain things. I've seen so many videos about questions straight people shouldn't ask gay people and I'm perplexed as to why.
     
  21. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Just be thankful they haven’t labelled you as CIS gendered.
     
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  22. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I have been labeled that as well.
     
  23. Dissily Mordentroge

    Dissily Mordentroge Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    'CIS genered' is only one part of modern sociology gone way off the rails. I wont get into a dialogue with anyone who wants to push such pseudo-academic drivel. There theory is as befuddled as the French deconstructionist with whom they have so much in common.
     
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  24. Polydectes

    Polydectes Well-Known Member

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    I have only ever encountered heterosexual white women who identify as non-binary use that term.
     
  25. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Not another bloody acronym to learn! I've only just found out what LGBYQIAP means. :eyepopping:
     

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