Have you ever written any fiction?

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by CCitizen, Jul 2, 2017.

  1. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    WOW! What were they about? How many copies did you sell?
     
  2. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    I once wrote a Slash fan fic when I was 16..
    Robert is from London, England; and he is 16 years old and a self taught lead guitarist! Robert wrote this comedy about a guy's day leading up to going to a SLASH's Snakepit concert. The guy has the worst day ever, but at the end is the Snakepit concert. All his problems are forgotten, and he has the time of his life! We know how that feels! You'll like the many GNR and Snakepit references, and SLASH makes an appearance at the end. Thanks, Robert! Click on the tophat below NOW!


    [​IMG] Days Can Never Suck

    The editor severely butchered it though (I feel/I remember) and made it like that.
    That taught me that even my own writing can be published different to how I wrote it.


    Thankfully, later, had more freedoms when it came to flexing my writing muscle.
     
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  3. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    I wrote this Futurama Fan Fic in 2009.


    Int planet express day

    Fry, Leela and Bender can be seen sitting around the table.
    The Professor and Hermes walk through a set of futuristic doors.
    Following them is a hover dolly carrying a crate.


    The Professor
    Good news everyone!


    Hermes takes a seat at the table.


    The Professor
    Today we will be taking a package to British Museum in London.

    Bender
    What's so good about that?

    Hermes
    We will be saving on star ship fuel!

    Leela
    I don't understand Professor.

    The Professor
    I have already booked you and Fry on a transatlantic cruise.

    Bender
    What about me?

    The Professor
    You'll be going as cargo, in this crate.

    Leela
    Wouldn't a transatlantic cruise
    costs more and take much longer than
    the three second journey to London?

    Hermes
    You'd think so, but no.

    Fry
    I remember when I was on a cruise...


    Flashback to a scene from the episode A Flight To Remember


    Bender interrupts the flash back sequence


    Int planet express day



    Bender
    You're crazy Fry!

    Leela
    Wait a minute, if the crate's for Bender, what does the British Museum want?

    Fry
    Do they want a Bending Unit?

    The Professor
    Oh my, no.
    The British Museum has ordered this.


    The futuristic doors open and the backup hover dolly brings in an identical crate.


    Fry
    A crate?

    The Professor
    No you ninkompoop!
    It contains a cryogenically frozen man from the twentieth century.

    Fry
    Oh snap!


    (To be Continued)


    Int Planet Express Day


    Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes are seen sitting around the table, The Professor is standing up.
    Two identical hover dollys can be seen holding two identical crates.


    Bender
    So I'm going in this crate then?

    The Professor
    Not unless you have any objections Bender.

    Bender
    Well I...

    The Professor
    Then that's Good News Everyone!
    Bye.


    The Professor makes his exit walking out the futuristic doors.


    Hermes
    Leela, as crew captain, it is your duty to see that this
    package makes it to London in one piece.

    Leela
    I'll keep my eye on it sir!

    Hermes
    Very good, now since the Planet Express ship will be out of action for this mission,
    I'm going to have to declare it on paid vacation.


    Hermes pulls out a briefcase from under the table, opens it, takes out some papers and a rubber stamp


    Cut to a close up of a page that reads Planet Express Ship, a picture of the Planet Express Ship, and other writing that's unclear.
    Hermes stamps the page with his rubber stamp and On Paid Vacation can be seen on the page.



    Int Planet Express Day


    Hermes is sitting at the table seen stamping pieces of paper, Fry, Leela and Bender
    are seen standing around the two crates.


    Fry
    I wonder whose in the crate?

    Leela
    I don't know, but I know whose not.

    Bender
    Who?



    Ext Streets of New New York Day


    Fry and Leela are walking down the street, following them are the two hover dollys with two identical crates.
    One of the crates can be seen to be moving around.


    Leela
    Behave in there Bender, or you won't pass customs.


    Pan in to the agitating crate.
    The crate stops agitating on pan.


    Bender (voice only)
    This is no way to travel.
    I'm all about class and dignity.

    Fry
    Don't worry Bender, we'll be there before you know it.

    Bender (voice only)
    Then why don't you ride in the crate?

    Leela
    Bender Shhh.
    You'll bring attention to yourself, and Planet Express can't afford three tickets.

    Bender (voice only)
    Then why do you need me?

    Leela
    Because The Professor said so, besides, We're a team.

    Bender (voice only)
    Ever since you and Fry became a couple, there's been no team, just a duo with a third Bender...
    Bender.

    Fry
    Awww...
    Don't worry Bender, we'll always be a team.

    Bender (voice only)
    Really?

    Fry
    Yes, really.

    Bender (voice only)
    Screw this, I'm not going to the British Museum in a box!


    The crate agitates and Bender appears breaking out of the crate, knocking the other crate off of the hover dolly and on to the ground, the crate breaks open on impact to reveal a cryogenics tube.


    Bender (triumphant)
    I am the greatest!


    Leela and Fry gasp.

    Snd EFX clock ticking and bell chime once.


    The Cryogenics tube door opens
    Robert awakens dazed and confused, stepping out of the tube.


    Robert
    Wha?
    Where am I?

    Leela
    Oh crud.


    Bender gasps.


    (To be continued)
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  4. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Ext Streets of New New York Day


    Leela

    You're in streets of New New York.

    Robert
    Huh?

    Leela
    You were frozen in the twentieth century, we were supposed to deliver you to the British Museum

    Robert
    British?
    Museum?
    Twentieth?
    Century?

    Fry
    Don't you need to go to the bathroom?

    Robert
    Oh God yes!


    Int planet express day

    Snd EFX Shower

    Fry, Leela, Bender & Amy are sitting at the table, The Professor is seen standing up.


    The Professor (angry)
    You three ninkompoops have really screwed up this time!

    Leela
    It's all Bender's fault!

    Bender
    My fault?
    If you hadn't've shoved me into that crate, none of this would have happened!

    The Professor (angry)
    Shut up the both of you!
    The shower sound stops.

    The Professor
    Now the British Museum want a full refund plus compensation for their exhibit you destroyed!

    Leela
    You mean that Bender des...

    The Professor (angry)
    Quiet you!


    Robert is seen walking through the futuristic doors. Looking traumatised.


    Robert
    I coughed in the shower and some mechanical arms popped out and went straight down my gullet.
    On the plus side, my throat and lungs feel cleaner.

    Fry
    So you're from the twentieth century too?

    Robert
    I was in New York...


    2010 Flashback sequence Applied Cryogenics Night


    The date March 31st 2010 is seen on screen then disappears

    Robert and a girl are fooling around.

    Robert chases the girl, the girl giggles and hides behind a cryogenics tube.

    Robert (voice over)
    I was on holiday in America when I met this girl, she decided it'll be fun to go do it in random places.


    Int planet express day


    Fry
    I've been there!


    Leela blushes


    2010 Flashback sequence Applied Cryogenics Night



    Fry is seen frozen in a cryogenics tube amongst the others.
    On the end of a row of cryogenics tubes, one containing Fry,
    another containing Bender from Bender's Big Score stands an un occupied tube with
    its door wide open.


    Girl
    Come and get me!


    She moves behind the open cryogenics tube.
    Robert stands in front of the open cryogenics tube.


    Robert (giggling)

    Wheeeeerrrreee are yoooooooouu???

    Girl (giggling)
    I'm right heeeeeerrrrreeeeeeeee...

    The girl moves out from behind the open cryogenics tube, behind Robert.

    Girl
    Let's do it in here!


    She pushes Robert into the cryogenics tube.
    The door slams shut with the force and the timer reads 1000 years.
    Snd EFX vacuumed seal
    Snd EFX digital beeps


    Robert is startled then is seen getting instantly frozen.
    The Girl screams and runs away.


    Int planet express day


    Fry
    So you we're going to get some then you got frozen?

    Robert
    Yeah.

    Fry
    Ouch!
    So what's your name?

    Robert
    It's Robert.



    (To be continued)
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
  5. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Int planet express day


    Fry
    What year are you from?

    Robert
    Two thousand and ten.

    Fry
    Two thousand...
    Two thousand and ten!?
    Wait a minute!
    That's not the twentieth century!
    That's the twenty first century!

    Robert
    Yeah, I know.
    What's up with everyone saying I'm from the twentieth century?
    Sure, I was born in it an' all...
    Say, what year is it anyway?

    Leela
    It's three thousand and nine.


    Robert Gasps


    Robert
    Oh my god!
    My visa ran out nine hundred and ninety nine years ago!

    Fry
    Your visa?

    Robert
    Yes, my visa!
    I was only allowed in your country for three months!
    For holiday purposes only, I'm actually from the UK.

    Fry
    Never heard of it.

    Robert
    Britain.

    Fry
    Oh!
    That place.
    So that's why the British Museum wanted you?

    Robert
    The British Museum wanted me?

    Fry
    Yeah. We were supposed to take you to London.

    Robert
    You were deporting me?

    Fry
    No, The British Museum's on Earth.

    Robert
    Wha?

    Leela stands up and walks over to Robert.

    Leela
    Okay, okay, I'm sure Robert's had enough excitement for one day.
    Hi, I'm Leela, over there is Fry.


    Fry smiling and waving.


    Fry
    Hello.

    Leela
    He's from the twentieth century too.

    Robert
    Twenty first century!

    Leela
    Whatever.
    This is Bender, Amy and The Professor.


    Camera pans across the table left to right.
    Bender belches a flame.


    Bender
    Pardon me.

    Amy
    Hello.


    Pan to the right of Leela and Robert standing to reveal the professor drooling.


    Time passes


    Int Planet Express Day


    Robert is seen sitting at the table between Fry and Leela
    sitting next to Fry is Bender, sitting next to Leela is Amy.
    The Professor is seen sitting at the head of the table.

    Robert
    So this is the year three thousand?

    Leela
    Three thousand and nine!

    Robert
    Whatever.


    Robert looking at Bender


    Robert
    And you're a robot?

    Bender
    I was the last time I checked.
    Wait, let me do another systems check, just to be sure.


    Bender shuts his visor
    Then re-opens it again


    Bender (Laughing)
    I'm just messing with you!
    Of course I'm a robot!

    Amy
    And I'm from Mars!

    Robert
    You're from Mars?

    Amy
    No Guh!


    Robert looking at Leela.


    Robert
    Are you a Martian too?

    Leela
    Nope, Earthican.

    Robert
    Earthican?

    Leela
    It means I'm from Earth.

    Robert
    Oh!
    You were born here?
    Were your parents from Mars?

    Amy
    Mine were.

    Leela
    No, no.
    I'm a mutant.

    Robert
    Oh...
    That explains the eye.
    And you're from the twentieth century?


    Robert looks at Fry.


    Fry (optimistic)
    Yeah, but don't worry Robert, you're gonna fit right in!


    Dr. Zoidberg walks in through the futuristic doors.

    Camera focuses on Dr. Zoidberg who is off model wearing a Fishy Joe's Bucket on his head amongst his usual apparel.
    Camera slowly pans up and down Dr. Zoidberg.


    Int Planet Express Day


    Robert is seen sitting at the table.


    Robert
    I don't want to know.


    Pan to the head of the table where The Professor can be seen sitting.


    The Professor
    Oh, that's just harmless Doctor Zoidberg.



    (To be continued)
     
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  6. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Int Planet Express Day



    Dr. Zoidberg
    Hello!


    Dr. Zoidberg turns around and walks out of the futuristic doors.


    Leela
    We need to get you processed.

    Robert
    Huh?

    Leela
    You're in luck, it was my job counselling defrostys.
    We'll get you a job and see if you have any decedents in the 31st century.

    Robert
    I still can't believe it.
    Everybody I've ever known are all dead!

    Leela
    That's why we need to get you processed.

    Robert
    Because everybody I know is dead?

    Leela
    No, so you'll find it easier adjusting to society.

    Robert
    Oh.

    Leela
    I'm going to call my old boss and explain to him what happened.



    Leela holds up her arm and presses a button on her wrist thingy.


    Snd EFX digital beep


    Leela
    I'll just give Applied Cryogenics a call...

    Leela's Wrist Thingy
    You have one unplayed message.

    Leela
    Play.

    Hermes (Furious)
    What in the name of Bob Marley's head happened to your package to London?
    I demand to see you in my office immediately!


    Leela presses a button on her wrist thingy.

    Snd EFX digital beep

    Leela
    Oh shoot!
    I have to go see Hermes.
    Fry, Bender, could you take Robert down to the Cryogenics Lab for me.
    Please?
    I'll meet you guys down there once I'm finished being penalised.

    Fry
    Sure, no problem.

    Bender
    Well...
    Since you did say please.

    Leela
    Great!
    Hopefully Hermes won't take too long shouting at me.



    Ext Streets of New New York Day


    Fry, Bender and Robert are seen walking down the streets of New New York.


    Fry
    So Robert, now you're in the future, there are all sorts of things you can do.

    Robert
    Like what?

    Fry
    You can go to the moon, see distant stars and have your picture taken with any celebrity's head.

    Robert

    Really?

    Fry
    Oh yeah.
    There's tons of stuff you can now do in the future.
    Like if you like listening to music, you can listen to hours of it, all from the comfort of your own pocket!



    Fry pulls an iPod out of his pocket and hands it to Robert.



    Robert
    We had these for quite a while back in two thousand and ten.

    Fry
    Really?


    Robert hands the iPod back to Fry
    Bender looks across the street panning to a group of Hookerbots seen on the other side.
    Camera focuses on Bender's upper body, his eyes extend out.



    Bender
    Yowl!
    The new Sexatron nine thousand is out.
    I bet she knows how to please a man bot such as myself.



    Cut to Fry, Bender and Robert on the streets of New New York



    Robert
    A hooker?
    Aren't you afraid you might catch something!?

    Bender
    Nah, it's okay.
    I've got virus protection.


    Fry, Bender and Robert continue to walk past the Hookerbots, they get to the end of the street, the camera pans out and a tall building is revealed. Seen on the front of this building are huge neon letters that read Applied Cryogenics.


    Fry
    We're here!


    Cut to behind Fry, Bender and Robert. Zoom in on behind Robert's head looking up, camera pans up the building. Underneath the neon writing seen on the building is a smaller sign that reads Welcoming you to the world of tomorrow, today.




    (To be continued)
     
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  7. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Int Applied Cryogenics Hall Day


    Elevator doors at the start of the hall way open and Fry Bender and Robert step out to walk down the hall with several doors. One of the doors is clearly marked Auction Room.


    Fry, Bender and Robert walk past the camera that's focused on the Auction Room door.


    Auctioneer (voice only)
    What are my bids for this fine specimen from the twenty fourth century?
    Original organs still in their original packaging.
    Do I hear five dollars?

    Professor Wernstrum (voice only)
    I bid five dollars!


    Int Ipgee's Office Day


    Ipgee is seen sitting at his desk working on a computer.


    SND EFX Digital Noise



    Ipgee
    Come in.


    Futuristic doors open and Fry, Bender and Robert walk through them.


    Ipgee
    Well hello mister Fry!
    I regret to inform you that you are four years late for work,
    plus I've had to redecorate your office in your long, unexplained absence.

    Fry
    Hi, sorry.
    Leela meant to call you.
    We've got this unfrozen guy from the twenty first century here and
    we need to use your probealator to help him track down his family.

    Ipgee (excited)
    Why of course!


    Ipgee looks on his computer screen.


    Ipgee
    I'm afraid it's in use right now.
    You gentlemen will have to wait.

    Robert
    What's a probealator?

    Ipgee
    Take a seat in the waiting room.



    Int Applied Cryogenics Waiting Room Day


    Fry, Bender and Robert are seen sitting in the waiting room.
    An apathetic worker is seen reading a magazine behind a window.


    Robert
    I don't know what to say.
    The future seems so cold and disturbing, not one bit how I imagined it.
    I'm gonna go to the bathroom.


    Robert stands up and walks out of the waiting room.


    Bender
    Someone's being awfully dramatic.

    Fry
    Cut the poor guy some slack, for him, this morning was last night, in two thousand and ten!
    He was just going to get some luvin', then the next thing he knows, bam!
    It's daylight and he's laying in a freezer tube out on the streets, a thousand years later.

    Bender
    So?

    Fry (empathetic)
    So you don't understand Bender.
    I know what it's like to be in his shoes.

    Bender
    No you don't.


    Leela walks into the waiting room.


    Leela
    I'm here now, where's Robert?

    Fry
    He went to the Bathroom.

    Leela
    Is he alright?

    Fry
    I guess so.


    Int Applied Cryogenics Bathroom Day



    Robert is seen looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

    Robert (having a breakdown)
    Oh god!
    This is a nightmare!
    That stupid B...
    I can't even bring myself to say it!
    There I was!
    Three thousand miles from home and having a ball happily enjoying my holiday.
    I was having the time of my life!
    Then that hussy I met at the Dairy Queen pushed me into that bloody thing,
    and now look at me!
    One thousand years from home!
    My brother, my brothers!
    And my sisters!
    My parents and my nan!
    All dead!
    They're all dead!
    Even my baby niece is dust!
    Ahhhh!
    I don't think I can take this!
    That stupid girl.
    That Stu-pid girl!
    I hate her!


    Robert cries out


    Robert (upset)
    What has she done to me!
    I hate her!
    She ruined my life!
    Oh god I hate her!


    Robert takes in a deep breath.
    And starts blubbering into the mirror


    Robert (crying)
    I hate her so much!
    And now she's dead!
    Oh god!
    Everyone I know are all dead!
    This is the worst day of my life!


    Robert lowers his head and sulks into the sink.


    Robert (sulking)
    I want my family.


    He looks up to see Fry in the Bathroom mirror.
    He turns around to look at Fry, wiping away his tears.


    Fry
    You ready?

    Robert
    Yeah, I.
    I just got a little bit of soap caught my eyes, I'll be fine.


    Fry smiles at Robert


    Fry
    It's time.

    Robert
    Okay.


    Robert and Fry walk out of the Bathroom.



    Int Applied Cryogenics Waiting Room Day


    Leela and Bender are sitting in the waiting room.
    Fry and Robert walk in.
    The apathetic worker is seen behind a window.



    Robert
    Hey Leela.

    Leela
    Sup?

    Apathetic Worker
    You can go through to the probealator now.



    (To be continued)
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  8. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Applied Cryogenics Probealator Room Day


    Robert is seen floating on the Probealator naked.
    He has a worried expression on his face


    Cut to Fry and Leela sitting next to the probealator's controls.


    Leela
    Now you may feel some discomfort.


    Cut to Robert's eyes seen bulging out.


    Cut to Fry and Leela sitting next to the probealator's controls.


    Leela
    Relax.


    She turns a dial on the probealator's control panel.

    Snd EFX Power Drill


    Robert
    Aaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooowwwwwww wwit!
    Rude boy!
    The power drill sound stops.



    Cut to Robert seen looking traumatized floating on the Probealator.



    Cut to Fry and Leela at the Probelator control panel.



    Leela
    Just a second.

    Snd Efx Microwave Bell Chime Once



    She turns the Dial
    Snd Efx Power Drill
    Snd Efx Electric Charge


    Robert
    YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    The power drill and electric charge sounds stop.



    Cut to Robert looking even more traumatised.



    Leela
    Alright, It's complete.
    You can put your clothes back on now.


    Bender comes into the shot and knock's Robert off the probealator.


    Robert
    Ow!


    Bender jumps onto the probealator table and is seen floating where Robert was floating.


    Bender
    My turn!



    Int Applied Cryogenics Room Sunset




    Leela and Fry are at a desk with a computer and printer.
    Robert is sitting at a chair wearing trousers, seen putting his T-shirt on and then his socks.
    In the background a drill can be heard with electric shocks.
    Bender is heard laughing in the background.


    Leela
    You have seven hundred, sixty three known decedents alive in the thirty first century.

    Snd Efx digital beep


    Leela
    Make that seven hundred, sixty two, and a half.

    Robert
    Well I was the youngest out of eleven children.

    Leela
    Figures.
    We'll just narrow it down for you and find out, out of all of these is closely related to you.


    The printer prints out a piece of paper with Mom's face on it
    The power drill and electric charge sounds stop.


    Leela and Fry gasp.


    Leela & Fry (shocked)
    Mom!?

    Robert
    Mum?


    The printer prints out another piece of paper with someone else's face on it.


    Leela
    Oh sorry, my mistake.
    This is your real great great great



    Int Applied Cryogenics Room Night



    Leela
    Great great grand nephew.

    Robert
    That's good, but he looks nothing like me.
    Can I get another pick of the seven hundred and sixty?

    Leela
    You know, with such a wide margin of decedents, I woulda thought you'll be happy.

    Robert
    I guess you're right.
    I'll take him.

    Leela
    That's great.
    Now here's the job the computer says you'll be best suited for.


    Leela turns the computer screen around to view.
    On it reads Lead Guitarist/Sitcom Writer


    Robert
    That doesn't look so bad.

    Leela
    Give me your hand.



    She gets a career chip and inserts it into the device.
    Robert holds out his arm giving his hand to Leela who pierces the chip into it.


    Snd EFX Staple Gun once


    Robert
    Ouch!
    Now I can't play guitar anymore!

    Leela
    Yes you can.


    Robert moves his hand around moving his fingers.


    Robert
    Hmmm, I guess your right.

    Fry
    So now your all set.


    Bender walks in through a set of futuristic doors.


    Bender
    She's still got it.



    Ext Outside Applied Cryogenics Night



    Leela, Fry, Robert and Bender are seen standing outside the building.
    Bender's arm extends out to snatch a wallet from Robert's back pocket.
    Bender chuckles


    Leela
    I guess you'll want to spend time with your nephew now.


    Robert
    I don't really want to.

    Leela
    I think you should.

    Fry
    Yeah, I think you should too, you may even get to like the little guy.

    Robert
    Well okay.



    Leela grabs Bender's arm and put it in an arm lock forcing Robert's stolen wallet out of Bender's chest cavity.



    Bender
    Hey!
    Ow!

    Leela
    He's very sorry!

    Bender
    Ow!

    Leela
    Say it!

    Bender
    I'm very sorry!



    Leela lets go of Bender.



    Bender (laughing)
    Very sorry you're ugly!



    Robert picks up his wallet and looks inside.



    Cut to a close up of Robert's hands looking through the wallet.
    Inside the wallet are Condoms, Money and an ATM Card.



    Robert takes the condoms out of the wallet and throws the wallet to the ground.



    Robert
    I won't be needing that out of date money anyway.



    Fry picks up the wallet and takes out Robert's ATM card.



    Fry

    Wait a minute, I know this bank.



    Robert
    You do?

    Fry
    Hey yeah, there's a branch over on Pieth Avenue that's always open next to that donut place.
    It's right by the stock exchange.
    Why don't we see if your accounts still open.

    Robert
    Okay.



    Int Bank Night



    Robert, Fry, Leela and Bender are seen standing at a window in the bank.
    Behind the window is a teller.
    Robert gives the teller his ATM card.



    Robert
    I've had this account since I was in school, in the twenty first century.

    Bank Teller
    Do you still remember your details?

    Robert
    Yeah.

    A computer keyboard comes up out of the counter in front of Robert.

    Bank Teller
    Alright Mr. Burrows.
    Type in all your details here, including password, home address and mother or your father's maiden name.


    Robert types into the keyboard.


    Bank Teller
    Okay Mr. Burrows, with a balance of three hundred pounds, seventeen pence...


    Robert has a smile on his face.


    Robert
    You guys remember me.


    Bank Teller
    ... Plus nine hundred and ninety nine years of interest at various rates through out history, your new balance is nine hundred billion trillion dollars.


    Bender gasps and is seen fainting with his eyes rolling back and falling backwards out of shot.
    Robert's smile turns into chattering teeth and manic behaviour.


    Robert (manic)
    Ahhhhhhh, HAHAHAHA, Yes!
    Oh god yes!


    Robert turns to Leela and Fry seen standing behind him in shock.


    Robert (excited)
    That's still a lot right?

    Leela
    Uh huh.


    Robert is seen with the world's biggest smile on his face.


    Fry
    With that amount of money, you actually own more than Mom!

    Leela
    And she's the universes richest woman.

    Robert
    I love this bank!
    I love the future!

    Leela
    And you get to work as a lead guitarist slash sitcom writer.

    Robert
    I love my life!



    Camera pans over Leela, Fry and Robert, Bender is seen passed out laying on the bank's floor.
    Robert looks up to the camera.



    Robert

    Thank God Allah Buddha I met that hussy!




    The End.
     
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  9. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Then shortly after that in 2009, I wrote another Fan Fic based on Futurama, but, again, wanting to flex my writing muscle, wrote a short story instead, called

    Bender Buys the Farm.

    "Bender?"
    "Bender!"
    "Speak to me buddy!"
    "Come on!"
    "Speak to me buddy!"
    "Come on!"
    "This isn't funny!"
    "Bender!"
    "Wake up!"
    "Speak to me buddy!"
    "This isn't funny!"
    A worried Fry frantically says, shaking a lifeless Bending Unit that he befriended many years ago and considered to be like a brother from another mother board.
    A Bending Unit he would fondly call Bender.
    Over come with emotion, he cries out a final
    "Bender!!!"
    Laying Bender's cold metal body back on to the couch.
    Where not two minutes prior to that very moment in time, Bender and Fry were happily sitting, thinking up new ways to spend their time that very morning.
    He looks up, noticing a lack of ceiling in the room and cries out
    "Nooooooooooo!"
    Sobbing as if he were a 'widow in the mourning', mourning the sudden loss of her dearly departed husband (or other half), right before her Breakfast Bot bought her her morning's helping of Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
    ... Fry cries with devastation.

    Leela casually walks into the room and asks.
    "What'you guys doin'?"
    "Insurance fraud."
    Happily answers Fry.
    Bender sits up to life saying
    "No one's ever going to believe that!"
    "People are going to think that you hated me, judging by that poor performance you just gave!"
    "I'm sorry Bender."
    "I'll try harder next time."
    Fry answers looking down in to his own chest.
    "I only signed up for acting classes three weeks ago."
    Looking rather glum, Fry looks up at Leela, instantly feeling like his happy usual self.
    Leela looks at Fry and wonders why he would ever be so willing to participate in yet another one of Bender's evil schemes, that she herself wonders, just how evil these schemes, that Bender keeps on coming up with, really are anyway?
    "I'm helping Bender with his life insurance fraud."
    Fry says only to further explain that he had nothing to do all morning and that he had grown bored and hungry waiting for his Kellogg's Corn Flakes to arrive when Bender asked if he'd help him make 'Bender's death' seem some-what convincible to any suspicious member of an unsuspecting public who should happen to bare witness to his charade, or not.

    Wheels of a Breakfast Bot roll into the room and park right in front of Fry, managing to crash only once into the coffee table.
    "It's about time!"
    Fry says smiling, eager to eat.
    Leela picks up one of the flyers that the Breakfast Bot has on it's side, in a little wrack.
    The meals on wheels places Fry's Kellogg's Corn Flakes on top of it's self ready for Fry to eat.
    Leela reading the flyer out loud.
    "Farm for sale."
    "Farm for sale!"
    Bender reacts, turning his attention to Leela and the flyer with in her hands.
    Arms of a Bending Unit race across the room to snatch a flyer from out of an unsuspecting cyclops' hands only to be retracted back to their menacing source, only to moments later process and spell check a flyer that the Bending Unit took whislt at the very same time making an unsuspecting cyclops go
    "Hey!"
    Just as those arms snatched the flyer from out of 'said poor cyclops' very own 'said unsuspecting hands.
    "Hey!"
    Leela says, as she is startled by Bender.
    "Don't you know it's rude to snatch?"
    Leela says displeased with Bender.
    Bender mimics her
    "Don't you know is-me-my-mo-ma-mem to BLAH BLAH BLAH whatever the hell you just said!?"
    Bender gasps
    "I've always wanted a farm, and for ONLY FIVE CENTS!"
    "I'm sure there's a catch, but who cares?"

    And before you know it, time passes and Bender is out in a field on Bender's recently acquired farm where Bender happily parties with Hookerbots whilst many are seen happily gambling and having a ball, except Dr. Zoidberg, who can't afford to gamble on Bender's farm. However, no one at the party with Breakfast Bots, forced to roll around and wait on all the guests wrack and wheel, spare one minute's thought to the poor CEO of a bankrupt real estate and loan company as he steps into a suicide booth back in New New York City and says
    "One please."



    The End.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  10. Diablo

    Diablo Well-Known Member

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    Two novels, two compilations of short stories and two thrillers. Not many!
     
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  11. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    Not in fiction, no. It's maybe 200 pages.
     
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  12. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks -- I am only writing short stories.
     
  13. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    Much more then me. Yet.
     
  14. Xtremenerd

    Xtremenerd Well-Known Member

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    place called figment
     
  15. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks. But it seems they have close to zero activity.
     
  16. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    My father, a man who's a 'jack of all trades'...
    Is now a professional writer.
    He's got an agent who pays for his membership to the writer's union.
    He's got 2 books out that's been printed and 2 that's on amazon/kindle.

    A lifetime before I came along, his claims to fame are ghost writing for Cliff Richard, and writing one of Australia's patriotic songs in the 1960's that I once heard his song played at some sporting games when Australia won a medal.
    He also wrote an episode of Doctor Who in the 1960's that never got produced.
    He's worked for the BBC in my teenage life, he was a writer on the Hudlines (Roy Hud satirical radio show) and... He once got asked to write for Eastenders (UK soap produced by the BBC) - he and 5 other writers were hired to write Dirty Den's return and my father's input to that was giving him a wife, who he named Chrissie 'after my sister Christine' Watts.
    My father's got writer friends - the guy who wrote and created Life On Mars sent my father not 1, but 2 laptops so my father could write.

    My father's books were printed this year
    upload_2017-7-20_0-48-25.jpeg
    (My mother's cover art work here).

    and
    upload_2017-7-20_0-49-4.jpeg

    [​IMG]
    (Kindle only) This one, has my mother credited too, I just saw on Amazon.

    I can't seem to find his other kindle works, like the one about the Gay Gnomes or how to do your tumble washing without gravity.


    Growing up with my father, he taught me the difference between writing for television and writing for radio - that's one thing I picked up growing up.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
  17. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    Short stories are hard. Every word counts. But you probably have more places to get published than a novel. Have you sent them to magazines and local cultural newspapers? They're always looking for content. Also you have to think about getting a professional editor, and pay him, and then get an agent.
     
  18. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    My father's sense of humour, a joke of his, *for example, relates to something like that, but of radio paying like £30.00 a minute or something right, and somebody having to write a 2 minutes silence (like on November the 11th or something to remember) with everyone/all the writer's going 'me! me! me!' right, because they all wanted to write the 2 minutes of silence for £30.00 a minute..
    -It's a joke I got because of knowing random stuff like that as he raised me.
    I was raised by a comedy writer with a high IQ and, I'm... Like a chip of the old block in things like that too.
    I also come from a long line of drummers and I've got that in me too... Not sure about my other brothers, my sister has that, in America, and I noticed my niece has it too. :), but... Yeah, my father says I'm like him, and I am. As much as I like to be me, there are many things I share with him.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
  19. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    Sorry, not following that at all.
     
  20. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    Radio, is paid by the minute, and when writing on a radio show, in a group meeting scenario at the BBC, knowing that's a paid by the minute thing (so it can't be too long etc); asking a room full of (radio) writers to write a 2 minutes silence.
     
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  21. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    There's things he came home with from those meetings saying stuff like;

    'Today we learned if you write two elephants with their trunks tied together, it's drama.
    If you write that one of the elephants wanted to sneeze, it's comedy.'

    Stuff like that my father came home saying of his working day. :) - I smile, because, I guess, looking back, that's awesome.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
  22. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I think the accepted word count for a short story per se is circa 1500 words. The opening paragraphs of mine were more than that until the Ian St James judges pointed out the error or my ways. :mrgreen: Short stories are harder to write because as you say - every word counts. Omitting the scene-setter 'Twas a dark and stormy night cuts it down a bit - by 6 words to be exact! :toast:
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2017

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