How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given by his wife

Balloon that into a duty and you have a coercive atmosphere by which the distinction between 'yes' and 'no' and becomes ' yes', and 'yes. because I pretty much have to, since I signed papers two decades ago. What is far more potentially damaging, is the resulting sense of entitlement in husbands! You can guess where that can lead! He is not entitled to intercourse because of that license. He is entitled to masturbate...! Everyone is entitled to seek their own sexual pleasure, and is duty-bound not to make someone else responsible for their needs

 

I can see your point, but if its framed with a sense of duty, the woman may feel she has no other choice but to consent. The article actually states that it's a sin to say no.

 

So you're cool with husbands moving wives out of the bedroom and concubines into the bedroom?

And yes, it is a coercive environment. Sorry, but if you can't hang, then don't get married. It's just like any contract. You abide by the terms of the contract. If you don't like the deal, then walk away from it. Once married, that ability to choose whether or not to have sex with the man you married is no longer an option.

 

Many guys have no idea how to handle a woman. This is why the donkey punch exists. Some guys do not have a clue.

 

Maybe because guys don't need something called a donkey punch.

What's violence got to do with this, anyway?

 

LOL! Violence of this type demonstrates some men do not have a clue. Are you clueless?

 

Lol, first you have to show me the language in the marital contract, then we'll discuss the potential remedies to breaching that section. The way I was raised, If you have to coerce sex from your wife with threats like that, you aren't much of a man in the first place. I can't even imagine how any self respecting dude could think like that. You aren't supposed get excited by coerced sex, you know. As for the marriage, divorce is in everyone's best interest already. Your attitude towards this issue is exactly what I was talking about. How pathetic.

 

I did go to the trouble of googling what a donkey punch, so I guess you could say I was clueless.

Why would you want to do that to a woman?

 

I would not have to.

 

it's what hand jobs are for.

 

The language is between the two parties. If she expects fidelity, then she can't say no. Same with the guy. If he expects her to be faithful to him, he's got a duty to provide her with sex.

Are you saying that I can get married, and then expect my wife to be faithful to me, even though I refuse to have sex with her? That's kinda messed up for her, don't you think?

 

You did bring it up as an acceptable recourse, so I'm assuming that you're just keeping that in reserve for when you do have to.

It's like not having to take the bus to work because you have a car. You don't have to, until you go outside and your car won't start...

 

Seriously, wanting to have sex with your wife when she's not in the mood is NOT fun at all. Who the heck does that? If its not mutual, whats the point? You can wait 24hrs=) Now if your wife isn't in the mood for weeks and weeks on end, that's an entirely different problem=)

 

Creativity is a solution. A HJ isn't very creative but it is a start.

 

How in Hell is a woman supposed to give love in such an environment?

 

Awww. Giving a man a HJ is like giving a baby a bottle. Happy little man.

 

You are assuming it is acceptable but my reference is just the opposite. The very reason something like that exists is because many men are clueless about women. It merely illustrates my point. I am sure several here had to Google the term. This is why I didn't use "The Tony Danza" to illustrate my point. That would have definitely baffled many. Lack of knowledge is the root of many problems.

 

Let's say it's for a month. Is it then okay to move the neighbor's daughter into what used to be our bedroom?

 

If the language is between the two parties, then you are not privy to it, and you sure as hell don't know how that contract might have been amended and the language re-interpreted in light of subsequent behavior by one or both parties. I can't imagine wanting a woman to 'service' me as a marital duty. Just get a damn divorce and call it a day!

 

And most guys probably appreciate the effort.

 

I believe it comes down to taking an interest in the happiness and well-being of one's partner. Sometimes that means doing something to make the other one happy. Of course it is a two way street.

 

well, I'll give an example. I told my woman years ago that "no" simply isn't an option. Not because I'm a knuckle-dragging caveman, but because I actually put up with a girlfriend that thought it perfectly normal for her to not put out.

It's one of those things that couples discuss prior to any serious relationship, like how many children they want, or whether it's okay to live in the country or city, or whether it's okay for you to spend your sundays drinking beer and watching football with your friends.

That's worked out well for us. And that goes for me, too. There have been quite a few times I wasn't feeling up to it, but I can't refuse her, either. It keeps things interesting, if I'm honest. She never knows what's going to happen when she walks in that front door, and neither do I.

 

True. But notice that you are moving away from a "you sexist mysognistic troglodyte" attitude, and more towards there being something to the idea of duty and responsibility when it comes to sex between two people in a monogamous intimate relationship?

 

Sounds like a husband who has no sexual prowess at all....what a loser.....blames his wife because he's lousy in bed....

A GOOD lover wouldn't get that reaction......

 

I had to look it up, too.

I guess you learn something new everyday.