How do you deal with loneliness?

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by CCitizen, Mar 29, 2020.

  1. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    I think they mean FRESH oysters. Which is the only way to have them.
     
  2. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    My husband and I are introverts and very easily could turn into permanent hermits. All I ask is the occasional trip to walmart and dollar general.

    I miss church though....online services aren't the same.
     
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  3. Texan

    Texan Well-Known Member

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    Shhhhhhhhhh!
     
  4. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    It's an interesting question. I've been seeing para-COVID news items about the terrible toll on those who live alone, and wondering why in heck people actually live alone. I'm complaining about my house full of people, but in reality I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can't really even fathom how people manage to avoid living with others, since we're all born into, and usually remain in, cohabitation relationships throughout life.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2020
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  5. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    Alcoholism.
     
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  6. SiNNiK

    SiNNiK Well-Known Member

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    Dude, that's what saddlebags are for. I carry all that plus a change of shoes and my gym stuff in them.

    Easy. Peasy. Japanesey.

    Cuz I ride a Yamaha. ;)
     
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  7. SiNNiK

    SiNNiK Well-Known Member

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    Around corners in the country its always a balance of watching for deer and oncoming traffic.

    No biggie.
     
  8. SiNNiK

    SiNNiK Well-Known Member

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  9. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    In my (professional and personal) experience, there are three categories: young people just starting out, dysfunctional adults, and the elderly widowed. So of course I do know how people avoid living with others .. what I don't understand is why they choose it.

    PS: That alcoholism would have to be pretty bloody bad to require solo living. As in "I'm choosing drink over people".
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
  10. Nightmare515

    Nightmare515 Ragin' Cajun Staff Member Past Donor

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    People are simply wired differently. Most folks are extroverts but being introverted isn't really that abnormal. You wouldn't trade your house full of people for anything and there isn't anything I would trade to have a house full of people. I mean seriously, I have a 3 bedroom house with one room being downstairs off the garage that I haven't even been into in weeks. Someone could agree to move in there and pay all of my household expenses and I would still refuse them. Even if I lost my employment and my ability to afford my house I would choose to move into a tiny affordable cabin over bringing in roommates to help me pay the bills here to keep this place.

    I simply can't live with people anymore. I did it briefly while I was broke just starting out in adult life and I absolutely refuse to ever do that again. It's a character flaw I guess of mine. Even if I thoroughly enjoy one's company I absolutely need you to be able to "get out" at some point and go back to your own place. A few years ago one of my best friends moved into my spare bedroom for a few weeks after he sold his house and moved his family away and was getting things finalized here before heading to meet them. Him and I are great friends and we get along perfectly fine but after about 2 days of him being here it was driving me crazy. He was fully aware of my solitude personality and he did everything in his power to be as non intrusive as he could but it simply didn't matter. I rarely ever even saw or heard him as he spent most of his time in the room but even though I never heard him make a sound the mere fact that I knew he was in that room drove me crazy.

    This stay at home policy has been completely normal for me. I can certainly see how it's driving many folks crazy though because I am the opposite of most people so I think about it from their perspective. Forcing folks to shelter in place for them would like be forcing me to go live in a house full of roommates and that would drive me absolutely insane.
     
  11. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I am also at home with my parents.
     
  12. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I have not eaten oysters since 1997. I am Jewish.
     
  13. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I am 100% extrovert. Sadly I have no offline friends.
     
  14. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I am grateful to my parents for supporting me. I remember and miss my grandmother RIP.
     
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  15. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    I meant alcoholism in a family can destroy it and scatter the members.
     
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    This guy describes exactly what I do



    Anyone can walk through walls: Cops, people, people in Nashville...

    Then I masturbate a lot.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
  17. Robert E Allen

    Robert E Allen Banned

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    Im essential retail, still working 40 hours. Some of the people i had to deal with today,, some loneliness would be nice..
     
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  18. CCitizen

    CCitizen Well-Known Member

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    I have been almost completely alone except for my family and online contact since 2008.
     
  19. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    They could reconvene, after ejecting the drunk. I mean, that's what I'd do.
     
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  20. crank

    crank Well-Known Member

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    What do you find problematic about sharing your life with others, specifically? I'm very curious.

    Good to hear of yet another example of someone NOT suffering from the lockdown, meantime.
     
  21. CKW

    CKW Well-Known Member

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    Well...I dont have friends...they really are a lot of work and energy. I have my family and that seems to be all I can handle. I have acquaintances at work and I interact with many people throughout the work day...which makes me appreciate quietness at home.
     
  22. Nightmare515

    Nightmare515 Ragin' Cajun Staff Member Past Donor

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    It's not about sharing my life with others that's the problem it's about sharing my space with others on a permanent basis. I have friends that I hang out with and I'll go to their houses for BBQ and beer and they'll come over for the same and whatnot but it's all fine because I know they can get out and go home when it's over. Or I can get up and go home. But if they lived here with me it would be torture. You could create a person with the exact same interests and hobbies as I have and drop them in my living room and I'd move out. I could clone my own self and I still wouldn't want to have me as a roommate lol.

    I don't exactly know how to describe it but I guess it's just when I want people around I want them around but when I don't want them around I don't want them around and that's hard when they actually live with you. It's hard to put into words because there aren't many specific examples I can give. Like I said about my buddy before when he lived in my spare bedroom for a few weeks. He didn't do anything wrong at all and we had a great time while he was here but the mere fact that he was here annoyed me after about 2 days. We had all of the same interests which is why we were such good friends in the first place. Drank the same whiskey, had the same hobbies, same ideologies, same career field etc. We'd sit up at night drinking and talking politics or watching the ballgame, go out fishing on our days off etc. He knew I was doing him a huge favor because he knows me and knows that I absolutely do NOT like people staying in my house so during the times he could tell I didn't want to be social he would do everything in his power to be as invisible as possible. Honestly there were days when I flat out forgot he was even here because he was so quiet but the second I remembered he was here I got instantly irritated. Which is hard to actually explain because I forgot he was here in the first place for days. I can't hear him, I didn't see him, he left no trace of his existence outside of his truck in the driveway but the mere fact that I KNEW he was HERE was just annoying.

    Think of it like a phone. That's how I like my life to be. If my phone buzzes I can determine whether or not I want to be bothered before I decide to answer it. Or I can read the caller ID and see if it's someone I feel like talking to. If I don't want to interact then I don't have to answer, if I want to interact and be social then I can pick it up and call somebody and/or ask them to come over. It's a double edged sword, there are times when I sit here alone and wish there was somebody here to have a drink with and watch TV or chat. There are also plenty of times when I sit here and thank my lucky stars there is nobody here to bother me. The problem is that when someone lives here those two things aren't always going to line up. It'll be nice having them here when I want to interact with someone but it'll piss me off during the times when I don't want to interact with someone but they are still here even though they are in the other room not interacting with me at all...

    But yeah this lockdown for me is business as usual, the only change in my life is I'm on a weird work schedule now instead of a normal one but that's about it. There have been plenty of times where I've taken vacation time from work and simply sat in this house or messed around in my garage completely alone for 4 or 5 days on end without ever leaving the front door. My isolation is my sanctuary.
     
  23. HonestJoe

    HonestJoe Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    The magic space pixies who live in my walls keep me company and help stop me going crazy.




    And humour. That helps too. :cool:
     
  24. Le Chef

    Le Chef Banned at members request Donor

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    So can I come over?
     
  25. Nightmare515

    Nightmare515 Ragin' Cajun Staff Member Past Donor

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    Sure, as long as it's understood that you will leave at some point before tomorrow morning lol.
     
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