I Believe In UFO's.

Discussion in 'Other Off-Topic Chat' started by JAG*, May 22, 2020.

  1. JAG*

    JAG* Active Member

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    This is a fun piece I wrote and its pretty much nonsense, but it was enjoyable writing it up nonetheless.

    It is designed to poke harmless fun at people who believe in UFO's and other crazy stuff like The American Government Is Putting Chemicals In Our Water To Control The American Population . . .

    . . . and stuff like The American Government Has Captured Aliens And Has Them Locked Up In Secret Places.

    ______________

    I Believe In UFO's
    by JAG


    "There is good solid evidence for the reality of UFO's", say some people.

    My reply to them is this:

    I believe in UFO's. Just yesterday my wife and I were out in the back yard when
    an Unidentified Flying Object landed on our patio table as we were relaxing sipping
    tea.

    Good Lands! I exclaimed, what can that be?

    My wife immediately recognized it as a UFO.

    I noticed that it was about 6 inches long and about 3 inches wide.

    It made a humming sound as it landed. The humming sound continued for about
    3 minutes and then began to slowly die down.

    We didn't know what to think about that, so we just sat there flabbergasted and
    bewildered staring at the UFO.

    Suddenly we saw the door in the side of the UFO open, and out stepped 3
    little orange colored men about 2 inches tall.

    One of them said Hello JAG, how are you?

    I'm doing just fine. I replied, and I hope you are doing well yourself.

    Listen I said, is that a spaceship you all just landed on my patio table?

    Yes it is, said one of the little orange men.

    Then they introduced themselves.

    The one who first spoke to me said he was the leader and that his name was
    Qzxzzxzzxzqqqxq, but I could just called him Bob, because that would make things
    much less complicated.

    The other two introduced themselves as Henry and Tom.

    Okay I said, and by the way, where are you all from?

    We're from the Andromeda Galaxy some 2.5 million light years from Earth, said Bob.

    Well I said, that's interesting Bob. What planet are you from?

    Sorry, replied Bob, but we can't tell you that, its classified.

    Okay Bob I said, can you tell me why you all have landed your spaceship on my patio table?

    We were sent to Earth just to see you JAG, said Henry.

    Good lands! I replied, why me? Why would you travel all that distance just to see me?

    We came to tell you that Donald Trump is not really an Earthling.

    What? I exclaimed, you mean he's not one of us?

    That's right, said Henry. Donald Trump is from another planet and he was sent here to Earth
    to prepare you Earthlings for more and more friendly visits from we visitors from Outer Space.

    Really? I exclaimed, You mean they're coming here to be our friends? To help us?

    Yes indeed, replied Bob. There is a lot we know that can help you Earthlings, a whole lot.

    Can you give me an example, I asked.

    Sure I can, replied Bob. You JAG are a Postmillennialist, and we can tell you that we know
    for an absolute fact, that Postmillennialism is the absolute truth.

    I always knew it was, I replied, but it makes my heart glad to hear it from you good folks out
    there in the Andromeda Galaxy.

    What else can you tell me that will cheer my heart, I asked.

    We can tell you JAG, that you are a solid gold human being, and we have great hopes for you.

    Thank you very much I replied, and may the Force be with you.

    Thanks JAG, and may the Force be with you too, and the wifey as well.

    My wife smiled at hearing that, and said, "Thanks guys, much appreciated."

    Well, said Bob, we have to be getting back home. It was nice chatting with you JAG,
    and we'll be in touch.

    Sounds good to me, you all take care now.

    Goodbye JAG.

    So long fellows, I said.

    Then Bob, and Tom, and Henry returned to their spaceship and took off into the
    blue yonder.

    The end.

    LOL . . .
     
  2. JAG*

    JAG* Active Member

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    Yes we can trust Trump. Trump is our friend!

    Trump is from the planet Jupiter and he was sent here to Earth to prepare us
    for more and more friendly visits from alien visitors from Outer Space.

    I hope the aliens have a cure for the Democratic Party, the COVID virus, the Flu,
    Joe Biden, MSNBC, Liberalism, Health Nazis, and the heart break of Psoriasis.

    LOL
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Well-Known Member

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  4. Monash

    Monash Well-Known Member

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    I believe you to. One of the UFOs sighted in 2014 by US Navy pilots was described as being approximately the size of the suitcase. Obviously the ship you sighted was to small to have covered the vast distance from Andromeda all by itself. This one must have been one of the mother ships.
     
  5. JAG*

    JAG* Active Member

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    LOL . . . many thanks.

    Sounds like a cool size for a spaceship. I'd guess the aliens
    inside the suitcase size spaceship were very tiny, maybe only
    1/32 of an inch tall. That'd make sense.

    Well, aliens have great powers. I think I have the solution to
    the problem: These particular aliens have the ability to
    shrink their size and the size of their spaceship.

    Why would they do that? Answer: Its a secret and the
    aliens have not yet shared the reason with me. LOL

    Anything is possible here in this Realm Of The Crazy. LOL again

    ______

    Monash, thanks for taking the time to read my nutty Opening Post
    and for your comments.


    `

    `
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2020
  6. Cosmo

    Cosmo Well-Known Member

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    The aliens I know said Trump is from Uranus.
    :icon_yoda:
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2020
  7. JAG*

    JAG* Active Member

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    Cosmos, thanks for stopping in and for your comment.
    Maybe The Donald is from Jupiter AND Uranus?
    Before coming to Earth -- 1/2 year on Jupiter and
    1/2 year on Uranus.

    Maybe ALL the D.C. politicians are aliens. I'm pretty
    sure Nancy is from Mars. And that Joe is from . . well. .
    . . er.. I don't know where Joe is from?

    . . LOL . .



    `
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2020

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