I need psychology help.

Discussion in 'Science' started by modernpaladin, Jul 27, 2019.

  1. modernpaladin

    modernpaladin Well-Known Member

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    No, not psychological help ;)

    Im trying to determine the clinical term for a type of behavior so I can research it, but I don't know what it is. Whats it called when someone does something they know a loved one doesn't appreciate purely so they can try to use the resulting emotional response to guage the nature of their relationship with that loved one?

    And is it part of (whatever that is called) for that person to feel they are not cared about when they don't illicit the expected emotional response they were looking for, or is that something else entirely?

    I guess its kinda like someone wanting to be controlled or manipulated...

    Im trying to determine if this is normal/healthy human behavior (because it seems unhealthy to me) and how to best respond to it.

    But first I need to know how to look it up.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
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  2. scarlet witch

    scarlet witch Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Emotional Blackmail and usually something people do who has Borderline Personality (BP) disorder but not restricted to BP's. You can also find people who have BP habits, that they picked up from parents or loved ones while they themselves may not be BP. Some people for example will measure how much you love them with how much you do for them... totally crap and unhealthy way to gage love...

    There are some great books... fascinating topic.

    In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
    https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Cloth...heep+clothing&qid=1564648485&s=gateway&sr=8-1

    Another book is Walking on Egg shells - specifically on BP.

    The best book I have read on the topic is not really related to your question, but I'll mention it because it was a fascinating read. It was quite the revelation for me when i read it as I had no idea people like these existed lol. What makes the book so interesting is that she divides the Borderline mother/wife into 4 fantasy characters, the hermit, the waif, the witch and the queen. Incredible how well she profiles these people... and oh so terrifying sad for her children


    Understanding the Borderline Mother
    Christine Ann Lawson
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/85662.Understanding_the_Borderline_Mother
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2019
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  3. Robert E Allen

    Robert E Allen Well-Known Member

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    I can't help you with the name of that behavior but the only healthy way to interact with loved ones is to view them as more important than yourself and to sacrifice for them.. it's also exceedingly rare and that is why relationships are so unhealthy.
     
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  4. tecoyah

    tecoyah Well-Known Member Donor

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    Insecurity.
     
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  5. jdog

    jdog Banned

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    Basically whenever someone acts in a way which causes discomfort or pain to another as part of a calculated scheme it is a sign of psychopathy.
    Normal people have empathy for others which causes them discomfort when they do something which harms someone else. Psychopaths do not have empathy and suffer no discomfort from hurting others. They can then use this behavior in a manipulative manor.
     
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  6. Equality

    Equality Banned

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    Understand learning curves and submissive acts versus dominator culture. Who's controlling who?:applause:
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2019
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