I will probably come under a lot of fire for saying this but...

I only want to date the really hot guys.

I will be the first to say that I am a plain Jane. Very plain indeed. Probably not ugly (I have been approached by a few men before), but definitely not hot either. I'd rank myself probably as a 6 out 10, 7 at the very best.

But I only want to date the really hot guys. It's not because I expect all guys to be perfect while I am content being an ugly fat slob or anything like that. The truth is that, average-looking guys absolutely don't "do it" for me. I know some of you will probably say my standards are too high, and while I can see why they'd say this, I must say in my own defense, I don't actually carry around a list in my head that I check off whenever I interact with a potential new guy. I don't say to myself, "my ideal guy must be over 5 foot 11, he has to be college-educated, he has to be this, he has to be that...". I don't. I simply give any guy (who is foolish or brave enough to approach me, depending on your view) a cursory look to quickly assess his physical attractiveness. And ALL of the times they fail this test, because only average-looking guys approach me, since I am so average-looking myself.

Do you think I am shallow? Should I "lower my standards"? Or just be content being a spinster for the rest of my life. I don't know. I have read an article on askmen.com where a guy talks about how his girlfriend is perfect in every way except she is not hot enough for him. So I think my problem is not unique.

Your thoughts?

 

Your problem is not unique.

Just taking your word for it that you're a "6" I would say that the guys who approach you are not, to your subconscious rating system, at the level you feel you deserve. You very well could end up a spinster since that's more common these days when social media tends to boost girl's personal idea of their self worth beyond what's realistic. From your posts, I would say that you probably consciously have a good idea of your rating so I suspect a 6 might be accurate, but subconsciously, you feel you deserve better, so... no attraction to guys who are also a 6.

 

Yes...you are shallow.
You also seem to lack the maturity to understand that "Hotness" is not merely a physical attribute. Likely your fixation on how beautiful a man is has already prevented you from meeting several men who would help you achieve the actual goal of relationship....happiness.

Good luck, you will need it.

 

She also goes into this with a serious handicap as she seems to project personality traits that would eliminate the interest of quality men.

 

That's hard to judge since guys approaching her on campus or in a bar probably would have no idea of her various political and social positions that she's posted about here.

 

'Plain' is subjective and if you think you are 'plain' chances are everyone sees you that way too. If you want to get a 'hot' guy you should upgrade your 'hotness' and steer away from the plain look.

 

I agree you are shallow.
I've always considered myself an average Joe. Beard, moustache, long hair, fit outdoors type. The one advantage I have always had is that I love to dance. CW, swing, hip hop, whatever...Guess its the Indian in me...The last time my wife and I went out dancing I came back from the restroom to find some guy hitting on her. He said "excuse me sir, I didn't think you'd mind me hitting on your daughter." I basically told him that I wouldn't mind him hitting on my daughter but I did mind him hitting on my wife. He looked at me, looked at my wife who nodded and gave me a thumbs up and walked away. Now my wife is 9 years younger than me and I'm going grey while she is still the beautiful redhead Irish lass that I married. But that is the first time someone ever called me her father.
So I know I married up, and I work hard to keep her happy...But I didn't set out to find the hottest girl, I looked for someone that completed me.

 

Yes I did say I only want hot guys but I never said their physical looks is the only thing I consider. Also, it's true that the actual goal of a relationship is happiness, however if the guy I am otherwise seeing is not physically attractive enough for me, then I doubt I'd get seriously happy in said relationship with him.

Would you date a girl you don't find physically attractive enough for you?

 

How do I do that? Do you mean buying more fashionable clothes, wearing make-up to better effects, that sort of things?

 

Please note the use of the term "Quality" men. The guys you are referring to are more likely to be interested in breast size than political/social opinion.

 

Are you hot yourself, Lil Mike?

 

Have to laugh. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a co-worker. It is my experience that good looking women rate themselves fairly low on a scale from 1 to 10. I asked her how she rated herself. Now she is no looker. Dark circles under her eyes, fairly thick. She said 12! It is a matter of attitude.

My GF is in her 50's and still looks fantastic. Thin, shapely. When younger she rated herself as a six. Go figure!

I am in my sixties and now get more compliments than in my twenties. My problem is like yours. I like a certain type of woman that is now more unlikely at my age. At least I have been through enough to not care as much anymore.

 

Naturally. Can't you tell by my avatar?

However the position of guys (even hot ones such as myself) and girls are not really comparable in the dating game. A hot guy (generally) is going to have to work harder for the attention of the opposite sex than a "6" girl.

 

That outlook will lead to a lot of short relationships. I'm not sure if you're looking long term.

Besides, the hot person you marry today might not be so hot in 10 years. Not to mention everyones definition of hot differs.

Take me for example. I'm not physically attracted to blondes, at all. Never understood it.

 

Lol wut! I can't tell if you are joking or not. Is that picture really you? You look 12.

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

 

This is true, however, like I said earlier, looks are important but they are not the only factor I consider. The guy would also have to be kind, smart (enough for me), and a whole host of other attributes. However, if he is not attractive enough for me, then I will not even enter a relationship with him.

Can I ask you how old you are? Also, would you consider yourself to be hot? Just curious.

 

I have dated non-beautiful women in the past but married pure beauty, Hotness if you will. However I did not date her for the hotness, she was just damn cool. Also I do not have the "Plain" gene and thus am at an advantage. My commentary was not entirely focused on your need for physical appearance but it seems you are fixated on this and he will know it, thus making in depth growth unlikely going forward. Believe it or not, humans are quite capable of evaluating the feelings of each other through conversation, body language and intimacy.
Judging by what you have posted thus far, I would not go beyond the hello stage and I am likely what you would consider "Hot"

 

I find it really cute that you have been trying very hard in this thread to offend me.

Not likely, but I am allowing such a possibility. Post a pic.

 

If my honest evaluation (which is what you asked for) offends you, it would seem you are a very overly sensitive person. My pic is my Avatar.

 

I asked people for their thoughts on what they think of my situation in this particular case, but technically I didn't ask you (or anybody) to evaluate my political stances or social positions, which is what you have been commenting on. All un-solicited.

I once read the Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aron, and I fit almost all of the criteria. I was blown away.

Your face is barely showing in that pic. But I am not going to ask you to send me a better pic, because I don't care how hot you are or aren't. I would not want to have anything to do with you in a romantic sense. This is not an insult. This is how I honestly feel.

 

You do that by stop thinking of yourself as plain. Clothes, makeup, effects couldn't hurt if you are into it. OR are you afraid to make yourself look hot because you don't want to be hit on by plain men? Do you have decent physical attributes?

 

Lucky for you there is alcohol.
Many fat, ugly women were unhappy when I stopped drinking...

By the way, I thought up a PC way of saying the above - some women are "gravitationally gifted and appealingly challenged".

 

If you are implying that I am fat and/or ugly, I believe that is a personal attack and could earn you an infraction.

 

Good for you! Be true to yourself.

What you are talking about is primal attraction. While that alone is not a basis for a relationship, if you do find the right guy in addition to having primal attraction, it will be hot.

Decide what you want and figure out how to get it.

 

It was an attempt at humor.