In Response To Growing Number Of Fistfights, London Mayor Bans Hands April 9, 2018 LONDON—In response to a recent outbreak in fistfights, London mayor Sadiq Khan announced Monday a sweeping ban of hands in the city, effective immediately. “No excuses: there is never a reason to have hands in a modern, civil society. Anyone who does will be caught, and they will feel the full force of the law,” Khan said at a press conference announcing the new policy during which he revealed that he has had his own hands surgically removed as a good-faith move to jump-start the new regulations. ~Snip~ At publishing time, rumors were swirling that the mayor was planning on banning feet after two handless men got into a quarrel and began kicking each other. Source: http://babylonbee.com/news/in-response-to-growing-number-of-fistfights-london-mayor-bans-hands/ ~~~~ Hmm.... Satire today. Reality tomorrow. Well, at least he’s not trying to disarm everyone. Wait’ll you hear how he plans to stop rapes.