League of Extraordinary Rednecks

Answer to silly questions....


"Hell yeah I want tacos for dinner."

 

Drove the Florida Keys last week with my HunnyBun. Check that off my bucket list. Rented a boat for a day in Key Largo, Took the 140 mile National park round trip tour out to the Dry Tortugas from Key West. Had some decent sea food and 12.00 rum/cokes. Had a nice Cuban Churrasco steak with black beans and rice in Islamorada. Had a Rum Coke and got busted trying to steal a menu at Sloppy Joes on Duval Street. Took a leak in the alley behind Earnest Hemingway's house. Pet a shark, saw a big ass turtle and stingray. All in all a pretty good week.

I was kind of expecting to see a plaque or something in the alley behind Hemmingway's house that said something like "On this spot, in 1959 Ernest Hemingway pissed here." There was nothing but I knew, yeah I knew. I mean what eccentric badass doesn't take a leak in the alley every once in a while????

 

So my wife's been tryin to get me to try these Vape Cigs to quit smoking. I went to the Vape store. It was kind reminiscent of the old head shops. (That I never went into in college.) Anyway the kid there hooked me up and I texted my wife. Here's how it went.

Me: these vape cigs taste like (*)(*)(*)(*).
Her: What flavor did you get?
Me: I don't know. I guess I got (*)(*)(*)(*) flavored.
Her: LOL

 

Edro and Ringo are both shopping at a bakery. Edro steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He looks up and sees that Ringo has witnessed his crime. He says to Ringo, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."

Ringo says to Edro , "That's typical of you dishonest Seattlites . I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."

Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Ringo swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Ringo asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks,"What did you do with the pastries?"

Ringo replies, "Look in Edro 's pocket....."

 

LMAO... Great to see you Mr. Wood. I've missed you. Hope things are all Three Musketeers and Almond Joys in WilmyLand.

 

Things are good, Senor Tuna. Lil edro didn't laugh at my joke when I posted it on p.com, tho.

I've put him on ignore and haven't acknowledged him in months ... making him muy loco!!!

 

Edro is walking down the street on his way to a promising panhandling corner. Along the way he sees a sign posted in a window. "FREE PARANORMAL SYMPOSUM" 'Something for FREE' edro exclaims and, unable to pass up a freebie, he tucks his 40 oz inside his coat and steps through the door. He takes a seat and looks around wondering where the free stuff is.
Inside the auditorium the speaker is engaging the audience.
"How many here have ever seen a ghost?" Most of the audience including edro, sitting in the back, raises their hand.
"Ok then how many have ever touched a ghost? Again most including edro respond.
"And spoken to a ghost? How many?" All but a few hands feel.
"And finally" the speaker asks "How many in our audience have ever had sex with a ghost?" Only edro remained with his hand up.

The speaker focuses on edro. "Please sir, tell us about your sexual encounter with this ghost."
Edro sheepishly drops his hand and sinks low into his seat and mumbles something incoherently.
"Sir please speak up, it's fascinating. Please tell us about your encounter.
"Never mind" edro mutters. "I thought you said goat."

 

There are many edro's here. LOL

 

This is the most entertaining thread ever, period.

 

We're all edros on this short bus known as life

 

Thanks antb0y.

- - - Updated - - -

Man that's deep, profound, astute.

 

M E M O R A N D U M:
To: The (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) who left a mess in my barn
From: Ringo
Date: 10.29.2014
Re: The mess you left in my barn.

Dear (*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*) who left a mess in my barn.

You are welcome to use my barn any time. My barn is your barn. . But the mess you left in my barn is yours alone. Not mine.

Stone Love Ringo.

 

Thanks Mex

 

Years ago, my ex-wife and I were watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and asked ," Do you want to have Sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

 

Sometimes when Sheriff Cody sees a few trucks parked around the barn, he stops in for a visit. Sometimes after a few beers he let's us play with his breathalizer thing...Fun to see who can blow the highest number, everybody hoots it up. After a few more beers he might let us play with his stun gun....That doesn't always work out so well.

 

New York scientists dug up traces of copper cable outside of New York City at a depth of 10 feet dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist reported finding a 200 year fiber optics cable dug at a depth of 20 feet. His conclusion was that their ancestors in CA already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.


One week later, a local newspaper in Houston, Texas reported the following: "After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Sugar Land, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless."

 

Redneck DIY

 

West Texas Winter Storm.....WE WILL REBUILD!!!!