As the world turns....and churns... Not something I'd normally post but it was popular on another forum, lol. My life in sex: the ethical non-monogamist September 2020 I’m happily dating four people, who are aware of each other. How can we expect one partner to meet all our desires? (me - ) ----I’m a woman who’s always been interested in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) – all partners agree to seeing other people – but had only been in monogamous relationships. Then, a year ago, mine ended and I was free to explore. ( me -) ----I began using an ENM dating app, at first fearing people would be aggressively sexual, or show a lack of respect. In fact, 99% of people I interacted with were emotionally intelligent, open-minded and kind. Now, I’m happily dating four people – two men and a male-female couple. They are aware of each other, and adore me in different ways. (me - ) ----Since March, I haven’t spent much time with anyone apart from my housemates. But I’ve stayed in contact with everyone, and made plans for picnics soon. (me - ) ----How can we expect one person to meet all our needs? Sexually, I enjoy playing with different power dynamics; seeing multiple people allows me to do that. Yes, it’s harder to stay on top of your calendar, and there is more room to disappoint multiple people when you’re not honest with what you can give, sexually and emotionally. (me - ) ----But I could not go back to monogamy. I now prioritize myself more, and am able to evaluate what someone can bring to my life and what I can offer in return. (me - ) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/11/my-life-in-sex-the-ethical-non-monogamist comment from one person: Many of the younger generations are self indulgent, pampered and all about 'me me me'. Yes, the schools and society indoctrinate them, but - the parents had the first 5 or 6yrs of their lives to teach them 'yes and no'. When my kids were tiny I always had a coffee table in front of the couch and I always had some 'things' sitting on it that they weren't allowed to touch. I can still remember one of them, at 2yrs old, walking over to the table, reaching out and then stopping and shaking their head and saying 'no no no'. They had already learned! Through the years I saw parents shout 'no' at their kids, and when the child did it anyway the parent just sat there and shook their head and said 'oh well'...... They were lazy and the child learned that there would be no reprimand! Sorry for my long rants, I could go on endlessly about this topic. I once read that a child has to learn 'how to love' by the age of 2yrs! comment from someone else: I live in "Liberalville", so I've gotten to see the grown-up young adult children of the Hippie generation. Their parents gave them names like "Ananda" (Hindu god) or "Solar". They in turn have lived the "free" lifestyle like their parents. Which means their open relationships didn't last long, but now they have children with those people they are no longer with. I am talking about 30-year-olds who have one or two children but are single... but still trying to carry on "open" relationships with other people. It seems kind of f**ked up for the children. Obviously things are financially difficult for them with those children, but living the single life. (No designated parent to watch the children, and having to rent separate households... often they are having to live with roommates, which is difficult when you have children) third comment: It's far from "unusual" these days. Especially in certain parts of the country (liberal West Coast). Maybe as much as 1 out of 3, maybe even 40% of the young people. I have a family member who's "experimented" among that community. They said that it sounds like a good idea in theory, but they've never actually seen it work out in very well in practice. There's too much jealousy, an innate human emotion. The people in those relationships try to pretend it isn't there and suppress those feelings, but it inevitably ends up bubbling to the surface. Another problem is it's all fun and games when you're in your 20s, but what about when you get older in your 40s and 50s? It's no longer so easy to "hook up" then, and it becomes kind of pathetic if you do. These people have little practice with committed monogamous relationships, so they often end up alone later in life, or in extremely shallow relationships, to have a little sex with their partner once or twice a week and then never see them outside of that. If you fall in love in your 20s, you may still be in love in your 60s with that person. That's far less likely to be able to happen in your 60s. Especially when you have become accustomed to the "swinging" lifestyle... commitment isn't exactly a natural thing to those people.