My Second Life and other Secrets

Haha. Sub? Not a sub generally but she had her moments. Something happened about six months ago and she started changing. I think she just had too much work from school - a Ph.D program. So while it broke my heart, I finally needed to end it. This is all about living in the moment. We don't have a real future so if it isn't working now, there is no sense in going on. Saw someone else for a short time but we just didn't have the magic. So I decided to take a break. Just started looking when a gorgeous young woman I saw a few years ago contacted me and wanted to get together. We really liked each other when we dated but wanted different things. So we went our separate ways with no fuss. Maybe she has had a change of heart or is looking for something else now. We're getting together this weekend. She sent a recent photo and she is certainly still beautiful. I hope I like her as much now as I did then.

 

Happy Hunting bro!

 

Thanks. Oh, I I think you meant 13, not 14. Yeah, one her (13's) fantasies was to have sex with another woman. She had been dying to be with a woman but never had the nerve to make a move on someone. So I made it my mission in life to find us a third partner. I found the perfect woman! She was gorgeous and totally excited about being with another woman her first time. And we had what we all agreed was one of the best nights of our life - all of us. IT was the PERFECT evening. A once in a lifetime experience. But not long after that I broke it off with 13 and called the woman who joined us in the threesome, who quickly became 14. Saw her for about 18 months but as I said, she started changing. Saw 15 for a short time, and here I am ready for the first date with 16, who was I think also 3. LOL!!! But we only dated a short time then. And I shouldn't get ahead of myself until we've had a few dates. But I remember really liking her.

PS, I use numbers to identify my sugar babies for practical reasons but please don't take that as impersonal. The truth is, I've loved three of them and cared a great deal about most of the rest. But the catch is that I have to accept that they are finite relationships.

 

Huh? You saying Number whatever?

I have been gone 2 years....

 

it appears to be an expensive hobby, i am happy for you that you can afford it.

you are like a hero to many younger sugar dads

 

I think that was almost exactly when we had our threesome. In fact I just checked and that's right - it was early September. She was a kinky young woman. I wish things had worked out. I didn't realize it for a long time but I loved her. No doubt about it.

 

Who said I can afford it? But this isn't like seeing escorts. I seek out women who are willing to see a man who has less if we have a great friendship.

My ace in the hole is that I genuinely adore them. Having that magic, that special something that makes my heart pound when we're together, is a must.

Haha, I doubt it. I must admit that I NEVER imagined or could have imagined the life I have been living. But I work very hard to find meaningful relationships. And a few have been fantastic. Of course I loved Number 1 more than life itself. And I still do.

 

Yeah, I bowed out right around the beginning of November of '17. Pops kicked off Dec. 1.

Plenty of Kink in the sea man!

 

You meant happy humping didn't you?

 

LOL!

Clearly!

 

I'm sorry about your father. That is a sad milestone in life.

Heh, I kind of ran that all together. I didn't mean that the way it sounded.

She was definitely kinky. And that was fun and a bit challenging. Before we split, at her request mind you, I was thinking about how we could have sex with other people watching. LOL! This was a real fantasy for her. And she was all into super-nasty Manga. That stuff is crazy nasty. But she loved the sex. One night she had to take me to the ER because I had an abscess on my leg. But even after two hours in the ER and stitches, she wouldn't let me off the hook for sex. I felt so used! LOL!!!

BUT, while that was fun, we had a wonderful relationship for a time. We did a lot of fun things - events in the city center, shows, recreational activities, and of course dinners out. We always had a great time. And sure enough, I did fall in love with her. But she always had a princess and the pea problem. As time went on it got a little out of hand. It didn't take long to realize that the shine was wearing off her new penny. I can feel it when I've lost them at heart. So I move on. If she doesn't really want to be with me, then it isn't going to work anymore.

 

Hey, love guru! How can the ugliest guy in the room get the number of the girl who is prettiest in the room?

#askingforafriend

 

You confidently strike up a conversation and ask for her number.

Oh my, I don't know if this is going to work - the woman I saw once before. This is REALLY complicated.

 

Did I mention this recently? One time I walked into a local store and saw a strikingly beautiful young woman working whom I'd never seen before. I heard her tell another customer that she'd LOVE to go to Hawaii. I so I blurted out, "I'll take you to Hawaii!" She said "Okay!". When we assured each other we were both serious, she gave me her number. She was at least 30 years younger than me.

 

You mean like; "Excuse me. I just wanted to say that HereWeGoAgain says hello."

 

Has she asked if she can bring her boyfriend along?

Have you tried the number?

Are you back?

 

We went out but didn't have great chemistry. So we just dropped it. But it got me a date and a chance to see if we connect. If we had hit it off I would have definitely taken her.

I got my chance with Number One in a similar fashion. That led to the best three years of my life.

 

Haha. But don't get the wrong idea. I've probably experienced more rejection than most any five other men put together. I'm just relentless. It's a number's game. The hard part is making every effort count. It is easy to start getting sloppy. But I try to remember that each new opportunity could be the best thing that ever happened to me. So I try to make every pass I make the best I can manage.

You know, some of the best advice I've gotten actually came from the show West Wing. It is explained to the new Press Secretary that you charm and disarm the press like an average guy gets hot women who are technically out of our league - smart and funny. That rung like a bell for me. I can do smart and funny! Then I added to that kind, loving, and giving. Finally add relentless, and no doubt it is a recipe that works. But I've probably been rejected by 500 women, either online or in person.

 

It is always interesting when I run across a woman who is completely open and comfortable with her sexuality. I was talking with a young woman today who once made a joke about whips. I don't remember the context but it was a joke. But I also know that jokes like that aren't always jokes. So today when I saw her, I said, So you like whips huh? She smiled sheepishly and admitted it was true. I asked if she's a Dom...? No, I like to be tied down and whipped! she said. OH! Cool. I can totally appreciate that, I replied. We all have fetishes. We went on to discuss our sex lives in great detail. She was even telling me how her partner isn't satisfying her and how to give her an orgasm. I asked if she and her partner are exclusive. She said she is open but he isn't. Damn! Too bad, I said. I would reeeeeeally like to.... I stopped as our eyes met in a dead stare; as we both imagined having sex with each other. Oh well, I continued. Too bad.

And really, too bad! Her partner isn't satisfying her and I know I could make her a happy woman. I KNOW we would have a great time. She has the fire. I would love to spend time with her. Too bad. Her bf had better step up soon because he has a tiger on his hands.

 

It was time to get serious and find a new sb. It took almost 1200 profiles read; 117 women contacted, 47 responses and conversations, 15 potential coffee dates, 7 scheduled coffee dates, three I cancelled, and two regular dates until I found her - SB 16. I did this in ten days. She was actually my first coffee date. She is very beautiful and we agreed to meet again. But after a day or two I wasn't feeling it and was more interested in someone else. So I told her so. I continued to date but she kept contacting me to say how disappointed she was that we didn't get together again. She asked how it's going with the other woman and to let her know if it doesn't work out. Finally she won me over. Her understanding and appreciation of my honesty, and obvious high level of interest got to me. I decided I would be foolish to let her get away without giving it a chance. And sure enough, I am starting to feel some real chemistry.

As I have often said, sometimes it comes like a bolt of lightning, and sometimes it comes like a rising tide. This may be a rising tide. We will see.

 

to go through 1200 profiles would require a strong dopamine rush

does adderall help perusing seeking arrangement

 

It just requires discipline and time. I had five days off and worked the dating sites about 16 hours a day. I am like this with any goal I pursue. I give it 110%. When I decide to get serious, I immerse myself. It is definitely a state of mind.

I have no idea. Never had the stuff.

 

Correction: I had 11 coffee dates scheduled and I cancelled six. Three were cancelled because they didn't pass the coffee date test - if they start getting flaky, something is wrong. One kept changing the time and it soon became clear she was a druggy. One kept moving the goal post. Eventually she showed her hand when she went from meeting for coffee, to me coming to her place for an hour. One pulled a last-minute no-show and attempt to reschedule, which I declined, and I had three more scheduled when I decided to commit with the woman I am seeing now. So I had to cancel those.

I still find it hard to cancel when it is someone who seems nice. This takes a lot of effort for both the men and the women seeking a true connection. By the time you get to a definitive time and place for a date, it has taken a lot of time filtering and messaging and you have your hopes up that this might work. And if I didn't think I would like them, I wouldn't schedule a date. So it makes me sad to cancel. But at the same time, coffee dates can be constantly moving targets. Unless you want to spend weeks or months dealing with cancelled, rescheduled, delayed, no show, or failed coffee dates, you have to overbook. Most coffee dates don't happen. Unfortunately this can result in cancelling on women you really would like to meet. I don't enjoy that part at all. I still find it hard to do.

 

While 16 is very nice, I'm still not feeling it. I may or may not continue to see her. I don't know yet for sure but I don't think so. So I've decided to continue the search. I had an interesting night with the woman I've seen before. She sent me the most sexually demanding text message I've ever received. LOL! She is a very dirty girl, We had been joking about getting dirty and apparently she got hot. No woman has ever talked to me like that before. But my first rule is always, whatever the lady wants. So I felt obliged to accommodate her. And it was a first for me. Never did that before!

Since starting this I have done all kinds of kinky stuff I'd never experienced; and with gorgeous young women. But here's the funny part: I have never asked for anything like that. Everything I've done was strictly at the lady's request. I strongly suspect that women are more open with a sd than they might be with a boyfriend because they don't fear rejection. There is no real future to put at risk. So they tend to be more willing to share their secret desires. I have definitely learned to play to this. I usually ask if they have any fetishes they'd like to explore. And as far as I can remember, the answer has always been yes.

The most memorable was a young woman who nearly jumped off the couch when I asked if she has any fetishes she'd like to explore. "YEAH! ROPES!" she exclaimed. It took me by surprise, Well I have some Velcro straps, I replied as I tried to catch my breath. NO. I WANT ROPES, she demanded. LOL! That was the strangest trip to the hardware store I've ever made. I asked where they keep the rope. What do you need it for? asked the store attendant. UM...I want to tie some stuff up... I wasn't prepared for that question. LOL!!!

Funny thing about first meets, I realized there are types:
1) The interview date. This happens when the woman doesn't engage. I had one of those last night. I would ask a question to initiate a conversation and get nearly a one-word answer. So I end up going from question to question to try to find something more than, yes, no, I like all music. I don't have any favorites. I don't watch movies. I like all food. Jeeeeeeezuz it can be frustrating. Beyond the no shows, druggies and such, it was one of the worst first dates I've ever had.

 

I always said that Number One was a one-in-a-million. I don't expect to find another her but I am trying to find the incapacitating love that I felt for her. So far I have gone through a total of over 7000 profiles and 127 first dates, and haven't found anything close. And I give each new friend a chance. I don't assume that it will always hit like a tidal wave. But I keep thinking how I fell in love with Number One in about 5 seconds.