My Second Life and other Secrets

Those two sentences seem to contradict each other. But you seem to be saying it was love at first sight. It was like that with Number 1; it had never happened to me before, and she was certainly the greatest love of my life far beyond anything I had ever experienced.

So we agree that love at first sight is real and can be the most powerful love of all?

Unfortunately the greatest love of my life was far too young to keep.

 

Also, I don't think you can find love with a checklist. That is more in line with how I married my first wife.

The greatest love of my love made no sense at all. She was wonderful in many ways but no checklist can predict a love like that.

 

I think you're on to something. I made the mistake of assuming my wife was more like her parents. I spoiled her and it was never enough. When she moved out, I went from living paycheck to paycheck to saving $4k/month even while still paying all our bills and putting our youngest through trade school. By the time the divorce was final (7 months later) I had over $25k in the bank. Now that the house is sold, I'm living on 30% of my income. (except for the current splurge of Jeep mods) That should be over by the end of Summer.

Our son finished school and is making over $50k/year with full benefits as a diesel mechanic. Not bad for a 20 year old. He lives with me.

 

I would cowardly ignore this post too ( if I was a person of such a low moral character to launch such an attack)... after cowardly calling me a liar...

 

No, I could have been wrong about her. I was just lucky. As usual. I'll have to pay someday.

 

For me it just speaks to the failure of marriage as an institution. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And half the people who stay married are miserable. That is a 75% failure rate.

I think the fundamental flaw is that marriage is a crap shoot. We all change as we grow and get older. It is a matter of odds, a flip of a coin, as to whether we will grow together or grow apart. If we are going to be true to ourselves, that is if we want to be happy, then we need to accept that any two people in a marriage may be right for each other today, but won't be tomorrow.

People will tell you that you have to work at marriage. You have to work on growing together. I think that is true. But I think this only applies to marriages that can work in the first place. If two people change and are no longer compatible after a decade or decades because that is their nature, no amount of work or pop psychology is going to change that.

To me the greatest sin of all is to put more value on the so called institution of marriage, than the happiness of the people involved. Guilt and customs are no reasons to stay in a bad marriage.

 

The notion of long courtships making a difference is interesting. But what does that mean? My ex and I waited 3 years. However my parents, who were married over 50 years and until they passed, got married after a month.

However I don't know if they were ever really happy. I know they were not happy for much of their marriage.

I always like to tell people I was technically married for 30 years. And we did have a few great months.

 

Long courtships... I realized after 20 years I had no idea who I had married.

I walked away with the belief that you can or may never really know anyone.

 

In my pursuit of a new companion I ran across an interesting profile - two women who only go out together. They are both beautiful and they're not lovers. Sure enough, we struck up a conversation and I ended up taking them out for a nice dinner. That went exceedingly well and we are now officially dating - all three of us. We had our first evening at my place last week. Grrrrrrr! LOL!

This was the first time I felt nervous while on my way to a date - our first dinner date - in a very long time. After over 135 or so coffee dates or first dinner dates, I don't normally feel nervous. But I didn't know if I could keep the interests of two young ladies. I was also a bit unsure of how this works. If they were lovers it would be different but they are both straight. Still, all three of us go to bed together. It can be a bit awkward but this is all new. We may find our groove. It is certainly fun sharing a bed with two beautiful young ladies at once.

 

We were supposed to have a date tonight but they didn't respond to confirm all day yesterday. I thought for sure they were ghosting me. But not so! They just replied with an emphatic YES! Woohoo! But oh sht! I really thought they were ditching me so I didn't do my cleaning. Now I have to run! I always want my place to be immaculate for a date.

 

Our first date at my place was a bit awkward but last night was much better. After ordering dinner I started the evening with a heart to heart discussion. You really can't be with two women at once so I decided not to even try. I give them both massages and then they give me a massage. Having two women massage me at once is fun. But from there I am with one or the other. Last night I was with N so K just watched and relaxed.

Last week I did successfully give two women a massage at once - one with each hand. But I can't really focus like that. Massage is a wonderful way to physically connect with someone and I don't want to depersonalize that.

 

Great news today. I've just started working out and I'm not even back on my program [keto diet] yet, but my blood work was incredible.
LDL - the bad stuff - normal range of 100-150. I was 46. Woohoo! Similar for cholesterol and triglycerides. BP is a solid 120/80. Since I had been off of my program and fell prey to grubhub during the pandemic and couldn't exercise, I was expecting the worst. But I couldn't have asked for better results.

Just wait until I'm completely back on my diet of superfoods - broccoli, kale, spinach, cauliflower, carrots - and fully back into my weight lifting, swimming, and elliptical program. These are the tools for beating back age.

 

Done this a few times now. The ladies all love it! It makes a great date.


https://www.iflyworld.com/

 

I am talking with the most beautiful woman I've met since I met Number One. She is absolutely breathtaking. Stunning!!! She says she is willing to go out with me but we don't have an actual date scheduled yet. Just the chance that she will see me has my head in the clouds. I will probably fall in love in 5 minutes. In fact I think I'm in love just looking at her photos. In terms of physical beauty, she is for me the perfect woman. Far too young to keep but maybe she will be mine for awhile. I can only hope and make my best moves.

Just FYI, it takes some serious cahones to do this.

 

Sigh, the young lady I mention above is no longer responding to me. I still text her everyday - thinking of you, cute photos, etc - and she hasn't blocked my account. So she still may be interested. But a woman like her gets 200-400 messages a day from guys. All I can do it stay in front of her in case an opportunity arises.

While I am out meeting other women, I am reminded of the power of a photo I use frequently. It is a photo of me with Number One that clearly shows how close we were. That has closed the deal on the chance to meet women more times than I can count. When women see a man with a woman who is hotter than them, the guy becomes far more attractive! I learned this by accident early on and have used it many times since then.

Also, because it shows how close we were, women view me as safe and worthy.

 

Oh yes, there is a new scam out there. A woman contacts me or shows an interest when I message her. We start to talk and she seems genuinely interested in me. And shes beautiful! But the answers keep getting longer and more involved. Eventually the word "finance" comes up. Generally they claim they studied finance. They go on to convey the idea that "she" is wealthy. There are references to her business, investments, and her team or assistants. More and more they try to give the impression that they are rich and powerful. Then comes the hook.

Since she likes me she wants to share her knowledge of investments so I can be rich like her. The messages get longer and longer and longer. She tries to get you to make an investment based on her advice. And then she maneuvers to get your new account number so they can take your money. The first one actually wanted a screen shot of my computer once the account is open LOL!

I've been doing this long enough that I knew there was something wrong right away. It just smelled like a scam. It was too easy and she was too beautiful. But I let it play out quite a bit to see where it was going. Now, as soon as someone says a few key words, like finance, investment, or express their desire to "help me" I just tell them I've seen this scam over half a dozen times already.

I estimate that for an older guy chasing beautiful young women, about 80% of the "women" expressing an interest are actually scammers or hookers. Finding a new diamond requires wading through the sewer.

Oh yes, the quickest giveaway with the scammers is they don't view my profile. I know if someone hits my page. And I know who. But the scammers often don't look. Anyone truly interested will always read your profile and want your photos.

 

Looking can be exhausting. So far I have contacted about 150 women. About 30% of them have read my message. I have ruled out or been rejected about two dozen women so far. Most of them were scammers.

Ran into a Chinese prostitution ring. They have one woman reach out who seems interested in a relationship and then they pull the switch and start introducing all of the other women in photos. All very high class; well dressed in a very expensive looking restaurant or other. It all appears to be staged. When I realized what is going on and ceased contact, somehow the messages disappeared from my phone.I blocked them but didn't delete them But still they are gone.

 

Here we go again! Woohoo!!! On this beautiful Sunday morning, I met a new young lady for coffee. We sat outside and talked for 3 hours. By the time we got up to leave I think I was falling in love. Of course I don't really know who she is yet. But if she is being honest, and so far I don't get any red flags, she seems wonderful. She is very beautiful. She is sophisticated. She is smart. And she seems to be very kind and giving. She is 30 years my younger but we have a lot in common with plenty to talk about. She also lives five minutes away. And we are officially seeing each other. This could be the beginning of a very long and beautiful friendship; and maybe more. I can see it in her eyes, We definitely have a flame going.

 

One of the things I don't enjoy is what I was just doing. Sometimes I get lucky and meet someone right away. But generally it takes time. It takes time to go through and read the profiles, pick out the women who interest me, and to then send thoughtful messages that clearly show I have read their profiles. Many men don't read their profiles. So the women sometimes bury a key word in their profile and say to mention it when you message. Also, I try to get a read on what they hope to find and then reply in kind and identify the things we have in common and why I think we might be a good match. Then it takes time for them to read my message. Often women won't reply for a week or two. And then it might take another week or two or three of slow responses to really begin to connect and get their attention.

So by the time I meet someone, I have all of this momentum going after messaging in this case about 200 women. I have a fair number who have expressed an interest. I had dates with three other women coming up. And now I have to go around and cancel with everyone. Knowing how much work goes into finding someone, it always makes me feel badly when I have to do this. But that is the nature of the beast and there is no better way that I can find. You have to play the numbers or it could take many months or even years to find someone. I don't have that kind of time to waste. But at least I do the polite thing and let them know. I just tell them that they seem wonderful and I was looking forward to meeting them, but I want to give this a chance. And I'm always monogamous.

 

Crud! She flaked. I've seen this too many times to let it pass. She was going to be 30 minutes, then 60, then 90 minutes late. Finally I told her never mind.

If this happens on a first date it never gets better. In the past I have tolerated the excuses but the pattern for a flake is easily recognizable now. And some women just want to see how far they can push and get away with it. They think they have power over me because I'm lucky to have them. So they try to abuse their position. Well guess what. There are always more fish in the sea. It is best just to move on.

But I'll admit that this one hurts. I had high hopes. Sigh.

 

I have to admit that there is a little bit of satisfaction in dumping really hot women. The truth is it breaks my heart every time. I sincerely hope for the best each and every time. And I put my heart into every effort. But I don't waste my time. When I see a clear indicator that this isn't going to work, I end it. In fact I have ended all but three relationships, IIRC. And I know the women are often shocked when I do. They usually get mad. They thought they could control me. And that's where the satisfaction comes in. There is a lot of satisfaction in knowing I can find someone else just as hot as they are, if not hotter. It just takes time and work. The nature of the relationships levels the playing field. Hot women no longer have the upper hand. That is why they get mad. They realize they don't have the power they thought they had.

 

That one took the wind out of my sails for a few days. But onward and forward. I have mended fences with the other women I'd been talking with and am moving on. Luckily they were understanding. And the fact that I was honest and told them I'd met someone and I'm monogamous, I think helps. It reinforces the fact that I'm not a player.

 

I am sitting here thinking about a dinner date tonight. It struck me that I am almost subconsciously deciding what colors to wear based on what I perceive to be her personality. I've been doing this for a long time but never really thought about it before!

My best guess based on how she has responded is that she is very careful. She is older - perhaps the oldest woman I've seen since my ex and I split. She has probably been hurt badly before. Part of what attracted her was my willingness to move slowly and wait until she is ready to meet. She comes off as skittish, where any poorly chosen response or action could easily scare her off. And she clearly doesn't want this to just be a sex thing. To me, this is all good! Fast and easy is fun when that is what you need but that's not why I'm doing this. This all suggests this could be the real deal. My best relationships have mostly started like this.

Often I wear a very nice red shirt and black pants on a first date - red is a power color. But with this woman I am thinking a calming blue shirt is a better choice. As for pants, still trying to decide between black and tan. I just got some new pants so I need to see how the colors go together. But I am going for "safe" and not "controlling".

 

I see no mention of a divorce there...

 

I thought you were talking about the MMORPG. Is that still up?