I read one of those "10 Reasons to Avoid Negative People" today. A sample reason: Negative people will simply reinforce anything negative that you say, and give you all the reasons why you’re right in your negativity and toxic thinking. Positive people will tell you can do it, and will give you positive reinforcement which is what you need when you have doubts. Negative people will make you believe your doubts, while positive people will convince you that you’re wrong and that you can do it after all. I found myself thinking of a few negative people like that, especially including a family member and friend, and agreeing that one should spend as little time as possible around such people. The difficulty for me is that as soon as I conclude that a person is "this" or "that", (stingy, stupid, critical, unkind, cruel, cynical) I remember an instance of their generosity, kindness, perspicacity, or hospitality. How do you handle negativity?
Always Look On The Brightside people always seem fake to me. I would rather have people who are willing to give me their unvarnished views on things, but to each their own.
I am a firm believer in "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all." Negative people are annoying, depressing and offer nothing of value. Success is the result of a positive attitude, energetic pursuit of significant goals, and constant efforts to focus on the good things in your life. Whiners and complainers can be found in any unemployment line, while smiling, happy people can be found in any group of achievers.
My family had the pleasure of having a very positive waitress wait on us yesterday. She definitely made the cost of eating out more pleasurable. She had the guys all ready to tip..
I will try to help. Please answer the following: List three (3) adjectives to describe yourself that are positive? List three (3) adjectives to describe yourself that are negative?
I base my decisions about friendships on how I am when I am with those people. If they (somehow) bring out the worst in me, I tend to stay clear. Recently I ended a multi year friendship because I didn't like the person I was when I was with her. That is not a slight on her, of course - its just self awareness.
If You Have Two Friends in Your Lifetime, You’re Lucky. If You Have One Good Friend, You’re More than Lucky - SE Hinton About ten years ago I realized just how true this is so I cleaned house. Most people in my life, both friends and family, were negative influences on my life. Over a period of time I cut ties with all of them. A lot of this goes back to your family life. We tend to seek out what we know best. My family was largely abusive and judgmental so I ended up with a wife and friends who were largely abusive and judgmental. They all made me miserable, always! And indeed my life is far better without them. I had some people who were very close but they have all passed or fell off the map for other reasons.
I've never met anyone with a history as unfortunate as yours. You have my sympathy, but not my concurrence. I had a graet set of parents. My dad was always there to coach my teams and help me with my homework. We would talk long into the night sometimes where he would tell me about his own pleasant childhood growing up in New York. We discussed everything and it helped me grow up with a positive attitude about life, love, work and success. I studied hard in school and played sports every year. I viewed successful people as role models to be emulated, not "greedy" people to be hated. I worked hard to get into a good college and did so.. West Point. Let me share a letter I posted recently on a private forum for West Point graduates about how valuable friends can be: As a young LT I Commanded a Basic Training Company at Ft Leonard Leonard Wood. My first Battalion Commander was LTC (name withheld). He had been First Captain when MacArthur came for his farewell to the Corps and sported a picture of himself and MacArthur standing together in a jeep as they "trooped the line" . (As an aside... He had hooked his little portable tape recorder into the Mess Hall PA system, making the only actual recording of MacArthur's "Farewell Address" to the Corps. That night he was awakened by a passel of Officers waking him up to get the tape so they could make copies in the language lab. He often, jokingly(?) referred to the royalties he was owed.) He was a wonderful leader who took the time to develop subordinates like me. One time, an overzealous MP snuck onto a range and stole one of my trainee's M16's while no one was looking. I was called to to his office and appropriately chewed out. I hemmed and hawed, blabbering about my security policies, etc. He stopped and ordered me out to his car, a VW bug that could go anywhere. We drove to the range in silence. I sat there wondering what civilian opportunities I had. When we arrived at the range, my Senior Drill (remember the old concept of "Field First"?) ran up, saluted and reported. Without returning the salute, LTC (name withheld), stone faced, started the whole "You have the right to remain silent..." mantra. The E-7's mouth dropped open while LTC (name withheld) turned on his heal, ordered me back in his car and we drove off. I didn't know whether to defecate or wind my watch. A few miles down the road he turned to me and said, "Did you learn anything?" I didn't know what to say. He repeated the question then explained that he knew some over eager MP was just feeling his oats and it was no big deal. He DID have a problem, however, with my response of tap dancing all over his desk with excuses. He went on to explain about responsibility versus excuses. I never forgot his words. Another time, the Company had reached the point in training where they could get weekend privileges to visit the PX, go get a burger, or just relax. They were "psyched" at the prospect. But it was contingent upon passing a Saturday morning in-ranks inspection. LTC (name withheld), unexpectedly, showed up to conduct the inspection himself. After the lengthy "open ranks" procedures and he and I had returned to front of the formation, he began to berate the entire company about its slovenliness and poor performance. He cancelled weekend privileges. He stopped and abruptly ordered me to a place around the corner of a nearby barracks. I was prepared to get chewed out. When he got there, he engaged me in small talk about all manner of things, from mess hall chow to anything he could do to help me. When he finished, we returned to our places in front of the formation. He went on to tell the Company that I had told him how well they were doing and how hard they were trying. He said that I had convinced him, against his better judgement, that they should be free to have privileges that weekend. He made himself a villain to make me a hero. Trainee morale, and resultant performance, soared. And he was a great guy. In the first few weeks under his Command, He invited his Commanders to his house for a picnic. He sat on one of those long one piece picnic tables with a few others. As I got my food and took a seat, it was just enough to upend the table and cover him with potato salad, pickles and iced tea. He scowled at me and I prepared to die (we all remember being young Lieutenants). His faced immediately changed and he howled with laughter. We went on to have a wonderful time. Years later I was attending the Infantry Commanders' Conference at Ft Benning. (name withheld) was then the Commander of Benning. As I stood waiting for an elevator, the doors opened and there stood MG (name withheld). He looked at me and instantly dismissed his rather large entourage so he could have a cup of coffee with me. More years later, (name withheld) had retired after making his third star and served with Schwartzkopf in Desert Shield/Storm. The two had become fast friends and started an organization to take inner city kids to camp in the country. A friend of mine's father-in-law was receiving the Order of St Maurice after years of service, culminating in his retirement as a CSM. My friend wanted to know if I could arrange for a General Officer to make the presentation. I called (name withheld) and he loved the idea. It turned out that the two knew each other and ended up renewing a great old friendship. In these days where powerful people are often viewed as heartless, greedy, and uncaring, I love to relate my experience knowing (name withheld). Guys like him keep me hopeful.
No thanks. I have had an incredible life - a life I made by myself. There is nothing like autonomy. And my highs have been far greater than my lows. Getting rid of the negative people in your life is a sign of growth. PS: About 1 out of 10 highly successful people is a psychopath.
Good. How do you guard against "people like that" insinuating themselves into your life going forward? Most people don't reveal their worst characteristics immediately.
