Once homophobic, now coming out. AMA

I've put this off for a few months because I wanted to first be at peace with myself and make sure I'm absolutely sure about this before coming out. So I'll start with how I went from homophobic to now coming out and then I'll go into how I know I'm gay.

I grew up in a conservative Christian home and with that, came the inherit condemnation of homosexuality. I myself was a strong conservative and against homosexuality because that's what I thought the Bible taught. In fact, you can find my old opinions on this forum. As I drifted away from the hard right wing and started to question my core beliefs, I became apathetic to the LGBT+ community. I was working at the time and actively pursuing a career in law enforcement. I frankly didn't had time to dwell on issues that, at the time, I thought didn't effect me.

My stance went from "all gays are going to hell and quite frankly, I wish we can send them there faster" to "I disagree with their lifestyle because the Bible says so, however what they did on their own time is none of my concern. Just don't hit on me" about three years ago. I figured if they had a good personality and had my back if they were a coworker, I'd tried to treat them as a friend and give them the same respect that I would want. I thought if I treated them with respect and befriend them, I can eventually turn them away from the "gay." At the time, I still thought being gay was a sin that would keep you from salvation.

A year or two passes by and I starting to reevaluate a lot of my political stances and became more and more moderate. Around this time, I realized that everyone has sinned and a lot of Christians made sexual sins and still call themselves Christians. I eventually shifted my stance from "gays are going to hell, but I'm really not that concerned" to "why is being gay any worse that any other sexual sin? If they want to be gay, that's between them and God." I still maintained that it's wrong to be gay, but it's not any worse than adultery or premarital sex and lots of Christians do one or both of those. Besides, I thought it wouldn't effect me because I'm straight.

It all came to a head when I was watching a YouTube video by Hunter Avallone who I followed for awhile. He made a similar, but different journey from being right wing to being center left. In this video, he was discussing homosexuality and the Bible and made the comment that the Bible doesn't actually condemns homosexuality. Of course, with my experience, I've heard this argument before but I've always dismissed it. Either it was because no one that I listened to took the time to flesh out the argument, or I just refused to hear the person out.

This time, however, I was more open minded to different opinions and I decided to hear him out. Side note, this was shortly after an experience I had that challenged my belief that I was straight which I will get into, later. Back to Hunter Avallone's video, I decided to hear him out. This time, I actually heard a compelling argument about how modern translations got it wrong and the original texts actually condemned relationships with young boys. So naturally, I decided to research it myself. I didn't want to change my opinion on the whim of some guy. I wanted to see if this was actually true. So I tried looking at unbiased sources and try looking up counterpoints. I've noticed that the sources claiming that homosexuality is a sin just quoted off of the Bible with little to no attempt to address the original texts. After finding out being a gay Christian has a stronger argument than all gays are going to hell if they don't repent, it was time to reconcile with my own sexuality which I would cover in the next post.

 

Part 2



So growing up in a conservative Christian home, I always thought I would grow up and marry a woman. But as it turned out, I wasn't as straight as I thought I was. I always assumed I was straight, but I always had incidents growing up. Without getting into too much detail, I was always interested in the male body. In fact, some of my earliest memories was trying peek at other guys and I didn't made as much effort with girls growing up. I brushed these incidents off as phases and some sort of temptation that I always fall into. The concept of me being gay wasn't even a thought that went through my mind because I "knew" I was straight. As I went through my teenage years, I started visiting adult websites. Naturally, I watched the straight videos because that what you're supposed to do. Gay videos actually disgusted me at the time, however, when I watched the straight videos, I find myself focused on the guys. As I grew older, I'd actually had instances where I thought "wow, that guy is kinda cute" which would be immediately followed by "wait, I can't think that, I'm straight!" As this was going on, I found myself watching group videos with multiple guys. I also started watching gay videos out of shear curiosity.



Throughout this time, I tried having crushes on a couple of women, but looking back, it always felt like an accomplishment on a video game rather than a legit relationship I wanted with them. Jump to last year, I started to develop a strong crush on someone. To the point I thought to myself "one time couldn't hurt. I'll just ask God to forgive me later, I'll still marry a woman later on." This was the first time I realized that I'm not exactly straight as an arrow. Combined this with the post in OP, this started the journey of figuring out who I was and how to reconcile it. Which brings us to today where I'm finally at peace with the fact that I'm gay.

 

It is sad that the Christian religion — really all of the more militant religions — cause so much internal strife among its followers. Especially seeing that gay issues play a very minor role in them. Some evidence shows it didn’t exist at all in the original Bible but was instead added later after an extensive push by the same organizations now hiding pedophilia (which is what the original texts spoke against).

There is a movie you might be interested in about this very topic: 1946: The mistranslation that shifted culture

You would be astonished at the number of men and women that are or were in similar situations as you which is why I have always said the number of “self identified” gay individuals on polls is absolutely low.

 

Do you when when is it coming out?

 

I think this is true of many against the lgbtq, many are bi-sexual and because of how they were raised, religion, ect.... they dislike the part of themselves that is naturally attracted to the same gender, thus lashing out at others to attack what they see as bad in themselves - thanks for sharing your story

 

Thank you for sharing your story. Takes courage to be true to thyself.

For what it is worth, I believe Christ died on the cross for my sins. So the “sin” of being gay was absolved by Christ. My view is not popular among some wings of Christianity, but, it is what I believe.

life is truly short, find love, find laughter, and find peace no matter what.

 

+1!

 

Want to go with me around the world and drill blast this into people's mind? People ask me all the time how I can stay so calm. You don't have to try to stay your calm. Your body and mind WANT to be calm. It's expending energy to get worked up about everything.





Here's a funny. My kids wanted "snow" so they opened 10 lbs. of flour and covered the entire first floor of the house and themselves. Ex (we're separated at this point) comes to pick them up and sees them and the foyer, starts screaming like a mental hospital escape and walks through to find me trying to get it out the crevices in the hardwood floors in the kitchen. This is what happened next...

"What in the F&ck did you people do in here!!!!! <walking through house to find me> And, why in the f&cking hell aren't you screaming about this BS!!!!!!!????"

I calmly said "It's flour. They are kids. If you can't make it snow in the house with 10 lbs of flour as a kid, when can you do it?"

Didn't go as well as I had hoped.

 

Honestly I get that. I came out on PF as trans a couple of years ago and learning more as always helped me understand more about myself and others.

You’ve always been part of the lgbt community, but now you’re acknowledging it. Welcome!

 

Welcome to the LBGTQ community.

We don't have two heads and we don't eat children either.

Just kidding but I wanted to make the point that you have already figured out that there is a great deal of DISINFORMATION being touted about the LBGTQ community by conservative theists.

As noted above the current bible was EDITED in 1946 in order to demonize homosexuality. Prior editions did NOT contain that FALSEHOOD. Read about the relationship between David and Johnathon in the OT and you will recognize yourself. Read about Ruth's devotion to Naomi in the OT and you will realize that your ORIGINAL bible ACCEPTED the LBGTQ community.

It is ONLY when you get to the NT that you see someone like Paul condemning homosexuality and then further research establishes that Paul was a well known LIAR at that time.

So when it comes to your faith and your belief in God there is no actual "sin" involved when it comes to the LOVE you share with your significant other. The concept of UNCONDITIONAL love means that your deity loves you as you are. The Psalms about love make it clear that it cannot be a sin.

So no, you do NOT need to ask for any "forgiveness" for loving someone.

Being at peace with who you are as a person is great place to be in. You are the same person you always were before but now you have an honest relationship with who you present yourself as in public. That self awareness and innate honesty makes you a better person now.

Perhaps the most striking difference I have encountered is the HAPPINESS among those in the LBGTQ community. Just being ACCEPTED for who you are, your REALITY, is an UPLIFTING experience.

 

Sounds like your kids have great imaginations. Kudos to you for not squashing that imagination.
I do not have anything nice to say about the Ex’s reaction.

 

They do. I never would. I am honored to be one of their parents. and agreed!

 

I find this section of the forum and in particular this thread full of courageous people. I am a 65 year old male and my brother is still in the closet at 61 even though he knows I know. I am mad at him for many reasons but not because he is gay and made that clear to him. I only had one gay friend and I was like a brother to him and he died of aids when I was in my twenties and I called him on his death bed and said "my penis is bigger than yours" and I know he died laughing.

I do not know much about you guys. I do know you form your collective identity the way we Jews do our collective identity and you use humour, arts, the way we do to confront the anghst and laugh it down.

All I can say is if you are honest with yourself you are a role model not just for your community but all of us.

One other thing. I had a rescue dog that was saved by a group of gay people in Georgia. They were ridiculed for being gay so they formed their own church and rescued dogs to feel positive and I got my dog that I lived with 12 years before she died two years ago. It was the greatest thing I ever had in life. You see your community chose to look hatred in the face and I ended up with a loving animal that was by my side for 12 years and got me through some bad times.

Deal with any of the ignorance with dignity and you will always be admired.

 

Congratulations on your journey thus far and on coming to peace with who you are. Given where you have come from that is no small thing. While it isn't a journey I have had to make, people very dear to me have. None of them regretted the decision to be true to themselves, even when came with difficulties - one of them came out at a time when such behaviour was still illegal.

I don't know if or what you have told your family and friends. I can't imagine how difficult that might be. Just remember that there are other people who have made that same journey. Find them. Speak to them. As someone said earlier, they have always been your community. That doesn't mean they have to be your only community, but they will accept you and help you if that is what you need.

There is a long & sometimes difficult road ahead, but it will be worth it. Good luck.

 

I can relate quite a bit to your story here.

I remember a few years back really butting heads with you on some of this stuff. Please don't feel the need to apologize. Coming to terms with it is a process. I went through the same process probably took a lot of the same steps you did.

I guess my only real questions would have to do with reconciling your sexuality with religious texts. I would be interested in knowing what you read with regard to that if anything.

 

From the research I've done, most, if not all the verses supposedly condemning homosexuality actually condemns coercion, pedophilia, promiscuity, and prostitution. Nothing about two adults in a monogamous relationship.

 

That's similar to what I concluded that surprises me the amount of it actually referred specifically to prostitution.

 

HAPPY COMING OUT DAY .welcome to the LGBT+ community

 

Congratulations on your bravery and your commitment to embracing happiness in your own life. May the journey be filled with pleasant surprises and many wonderful new friends!!

 

This article was one of the more convincing sources I found on the subject that helped me changed my mind.

https://um-insight.net/perspectives/has-“homosexual”-always-been-in-the-bible/

 

Yeah I read that one the first time I saw you post it

 

Why Come Out?
I mean don't lie about it but,
why a public announcement?

I wish for the days when sexuality was
not an issue. Like Laurel & Hardy
sharing a bed. No thought it was gay.
Oh for those days, GWTW
Like gay meant happy, not about sex.


Moi
ANNOUNCING:
straight, beta heterosexual
and a White man too.
But, I am 99 & 44/100ths Ashkenazi
per 23AndMe

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