Political Satire: The Old Man of the Mountain (-1)

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by reedak, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Narrator: The huge black dog was taken out from the dungeon and chained to the gate of the old man's mountain fortress next day. Meanwhile, the priest was riding a white horse like the wind towards the old man's mountain fortress which was a magnificent castle built on top of a high rock reaching 2000 m above sea level.

    On the way, he found an old man sitting on a high wall of a large building.

    Priest: Hi, Old Man of the Mountain!

    Old man: No, I am not the Old Man of the Mountain. I am his twin brother.

    Priest: Don't pull my leg. You really resemble the Old Man of the Mountain.

    Old man: If I were my twin brother, I would have that super magic power to fly over the wall like a bird. I won't end up in such a precarious position on the wall, thinking how to jump down safely to enter my summer resort through the back door.

    Priest: Why don't you enter your summer resort through the main entrance?

    Old man: I am running a four-yearly election against my twin brother for the post of Lord of the Mountain Castle. Thousands of protesters are blocking the main entrance to my summer resort as they turned violent against my proposed ban on immigration of a certain religious group and deportation of all illegal immigrants from the region. Hence I detoured around the walls to the back of the building, so that I can sneak inside by climbing over this wall.

    Priest: If your election campaign continues to be dogged by protestors, I suggest that you should take up some parkour lessons to overcome all barriers and obstacles, otherwise you may end up like the character in my "haiku".

    High wall,
    Humpty Dumpty falls,
    Boom!

    Old man: What rubbish are you reciting? Stop poking fun at me! Leave me alone!

    Priest: Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Seeing you sitting precariously on the wall just reminds me of Humpty Dumpty.

    Old man: Anyway, I don't have any more time for your nonsense. I have to jump down now. High on the wall, I can see some protesters coming in this direction. I don't want them to see me in this awkward situation. Goodbye!

    Narrator: After saying those words, the old man jumped down with a boom. Whether he came out alive or not, the priest did not know as he could not see the other side of the wall. With his horse breaking into a furious gallop, he continued his journey towards the old man's mountain fortress.

    *************************************** THE END *************************************************
     
  2. goody

    goody Banned

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    Ha ha ha!

    What's with the black dog?
     
  3. Aleksander Ulyanov

    Aleksander Ulyanov Well-Known Member

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    W. T. F. :confusion::confusion:

    Is this the Islamic Old Man of the Mountain, AKA Hassan the Assassin (Hassan e-Sabbah) or someone else?
     
  4. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    No, the Old Man of the Mountain in my political satires is a common national personification of a modern country in the West. It has nothing to do with AKA Hassan the Assassin (Hassan e-Sabbah) or any historical Muslim personality.

    I use the nickname "The Old Man of the Mountain" for the title and one of the main characters of my political satires because, like many other readers of history, I find the legends and myths about the Order of the Assassins "damn interesting".

    Historically, the cunning and ruthless Old Man of the Mountain was Hassan-i Sabbah, who ruled from the fortress of Alamut, meaning "The Eagle's Nest" in Persian. Located northwest of Tehran, just south of the Caspian Sea, Alamut was an imposing sight. Nestled atop a 2,100m mountain with only one near-vertical approach to the fortress, the Eagle’s Nest was considered impregnable to any military attack, and was fabled for its heavenly gardens, library and laboratories where philosophers, scientists and theologians could debate in intellectual freedom.

    Hassan was chief of a secret order of fanatics in northern Persia called Hashshashin or Assassins.

    According to https://www.damninteresting.com/fortress-of-the-assassins/

    (Begin excerpts)
    Only conjecture and myth remain to explain the origins of the Assassins’ name. Some theories link the name to the drug hashish, supposedly taken before battle or as initiation into the cult. A more probable competing theory is that the name is derived from the name of their leader Hassan-i-Sabah, since “Hashshashin” literally means “followers of Hassan.” The name itself was a derogatory term used by Europeans to describe the supposedly hashish-using sect. The term “assassin” most likely comes from a pet name Hassan had for his followers: Assassiyun, or “people who are faithful to the foundation of the faith.” The Assassins preferred to call themselves fedayeen. The word, Arabic for “one who is ready to sacrifice themselves for a cause,” was co-opted by groups in Palestine, Armenia, Iraq and Iran for their own organizations during numerous conflicts in the 20th century. (End excerpts)

    Midway through the 13th century, Jagati, a son of Genghis Khan and the ruler of some parts of Persia, was killed by assassins from Alamut. By 1256, the mountain fortress of Alamut was razed to the ground by the Mongol general Hulega in an act of brutal retribution. The fortress, along with its priceless library, was completely destroyed.

    N.B. There is no standard spelling for the real name of the Old Man of the Mountain. Various spellings of his name can be found from different sources, e.g. Hasan-ben-Sabah, Hassan-i Sabbah, Hassan-i-Sabbah, Hassan-i-Sabah, Hassan-e Sabbah, Hassan e-Sabbah, Hassan al’ Sabbah and Hassan as-Sabbāh.

    https://byzantinemporia.com/original-assassins/

    https://about-history.com/the-hashashins-assassins-according-to-marco-polo/

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alamut_Castle

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassins

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hassan-i_Sabbah

    http://hashashin.wikia.com/wiki/Hassan-i_Sabbah

    http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Hassan-i_Sabbah

    https://www.history.com/topics/genghis-khan

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genghis_Khan
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2018
  5. reedak

    reedak Well-Known Member

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    Ha! Ha! Ha! :lol:

    It's no laughing matter. The (huge) black dog was a hellhound, a supernatural dog in folklore, such as Cerberus from Greek mythology.

    It is obvious from your remark that you did not read the first political satire of the series. My satires began with the Old Man of the Mountain going into a dungeon in the wee hours of the morning to seek help from a hellhound, which he had captured in a fight, in his future battle against a priest. Being a wizard with the psychic ability of remote-viewing, he could see the priest on the way to his mountain stronghold to demand for the return of his brother's soul. After the wizard promised to reward it with the soul of the priest's brother, the hellhound agreed to help him fight against the priest.

    The hellhound was taken out from the dungeon and chained to a pillar near the gate of the old man's castle the following day. Meanwhile, the priest was riding a white horse like the wind towards the old man's mountain fortress.

    On the way, he saw the old man's twin brother sitting on the wall like Humpty Dumpty, and therein the story in this thread.

    http://www.politicalforum.com/index.php?threads/when-hell-breaks-loose.337134/#post-1064153527

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellhound

    http://uk.iacworld.org/full-list-of-different-types-of-psychic-abilities-here/
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2018
  6. signalmankenneth

    signalmankenneth Well-Known Member

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