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Puntastic!

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Orwell, Jun 9, 2017.

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  1. Nerd of Liberty

    Nerd of Liberty Active Member

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    Organic Chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
     
    Nerd of Liberty, Jan 26, 2018
    #351
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  2. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    When trump's cabinet arrived for the State of the Union, it scared the hell out of everyone. They had never seen a piece of furniture walking before.

    And then came the house!
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2018
    HereWeGoAgain, Jan 30, 2018
    #352
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  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Boom boom!
     
    Sallyally, Jan 31, 2018
    #353
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  4. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
     
    Sallyally, Jan 31, 2018
    #354
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  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    That made me snort. :D
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jan 31, 2018
    #355
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  6. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But,smoking bacon will cure it.
     
    Sallyally, Feb 1, 2018
    #356
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  7. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    If you ever feel sad, just remember one thing, that somewhere in the world a fat kid just dropped his ice cream.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 2, 2018
    #357
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  8. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My friend has had a penis extension.

    Now his house looks really stupid.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 2, 2018
    #358
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  9. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My grief counsellor died today. But he was that good, I couldn't give a ****.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 2, 2018
    #359
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  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    An old Chinese saying :

    Man walking through airport door with an erection is going to Bangkok.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 2, 2018
    #360
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  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    My GF says I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 2, 2018
    #361
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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    The wonderful love of a beautiful maid,

    The love of a staunch true man,

    The love of a baby unafraid,

    Have existed since life began.

    But the greatest love, the love of loves,

    Even greater than that of a mother,

    Is the tender, passionate, infinite love,

    Of one drunken bum for another.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 2, 2018
    #362
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  13. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people.
     
    Sallyally, Feb 3, 2018
    #363
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  14. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I was fuming, my wife said I was immature. Well, I think that's what she said because I was in my cardboard fort at the time.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 5, 2018
    #364
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  15. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I've just got one thing to say to the immature guy who stole my shoes whilst I was on the bouncy castle, "GROW UP".
     
    Nonnie, Feb 5, 2018
    #365
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  16. Nerd of Liberty

    Nerd of Liberty Active Member

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    How does Moses make coffee?

    Hebrews it.
     
    Nerd of Liberty, Feb 7, 2018
    #366
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  17. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!
     
    Sallyally, Feb 7, 2018
    #367
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  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    All potential Presidential candidates now have 2020 vision.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 7, 2018
    #368
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  19. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Yup, my suggestion for the Dems slogan should be Hindsight is 2020.
     
    Derideo_Te, Feb 8, 2018
    #369
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  20. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
     
    Sallyally, Feb 9, 2018
    #370
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  21. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    An actual radio news report: There was a fatal collision on the I-5 freeway yesterday. Three people were killed, two seriously.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 9, 2018
    #371
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  22. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    My barber ticks me off. She's always messing with my head.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 10, 2018
    #372
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
     
    Sallyally, Feb 24, 2018
    #373
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  24. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    What do they call U Haul in Alabama?

    Y'all Haul
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 25, 2018
    #374
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  25. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    With over 2/3 of the planet being covered with water and not land, it should be called Sea, not Earth. - A.C. Clarke.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2018
    HereWeGoAgain, Feb 25, 2018
    #375
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