Puntastic!

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Orwell, Jun 9, 2017.

  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.
     
  2. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Two groans.
     
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  3. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Up or down or don't you give a dam?
     
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  4. BestViewedWithCable

    BestViewedWithCable Well-Known Member

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    Thats called a Soup Kitchen......

    Lets take a look.....
     
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  5. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.
     
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  6. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    My mother always said my grandparents were heavily into iron and steal.

    Grandma ironed clothes and grandpa was a thief.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2018
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  7. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    The hicks in the Whitehouse are now Hopeless!
     
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  8. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    My great great (how manys) grandfather was transported for picking up a piece of rope.
    Unfortunately, there was a cow on the other end of the rope.
    Sorry, not a pun, but funny.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2018
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I need to drive to the shop to buy some ingredients for my guacamole but I don't avocado
     
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  10. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Reminds me about meeting an Irishman in a pub with a Scottish name. When I asked him why he said that his great grandfather had been deported from Scotland for sheep stealing. So I asked him why he had been deported from Ireland and that is when the fight broke out.
     
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I find that you can always curry favor with Indian food.
     
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  13. Nerd of Liberty

    Nerd of Liberty Active Member

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    What does a clock do when it's hungry?

    It goes back for seconds.
     
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
     
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  15. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    They have to put walls around cemeteries now. People are dying to get in!
     
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  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Best headstone I've ever seen: It said "See you soon!"
     
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  17. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    When does a Pentagon have 4 sides?
    When it intersects a plane.
     
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  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    People worry about repealing the Second Amendment.

    Not to worry. It hasn't even been pealed yet.
     
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  19. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    DNA

    National Dyslexic Association
     
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  20. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    BREAKING NEWS - In Belfast today, a two seater plane crashed into a cemetery. So far, local police have recovered 247 bodies and they're still hopeful in finding some survivors.
     
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  21. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    FOR SALE - WWII French gun for sale. Never been fired, dropped once.
     
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  22. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    When trump was informed of the FBI raid on his lawyer's office, he became quite stormy!
     
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song
     
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