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Puntastic!

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Orwell, Jun 9, 2017.

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  1. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    You got hooked up on a loophole.
     
    Maquiscat, Jul 9, 2017
    #76
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  2. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I was getting in to my car the other day and a man said 'can you give me a lift?' I said 'sure, you look great, chase your dreams, go for it!'
     
    Sallyally, Jul 10, 2017
    #77
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  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Do Christmas cats have Santa claws?
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 11, 2017
    #78
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  4. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 11, 2017
    #79
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  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    If you laugh it's a racial joke
    If you don't laugh it's a racist joke.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 11, 2017
    #80
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  6. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A backwards poet writes inverse.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 11, 2017
    #81
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  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Sign posted at a local company for the employees: The beatings will continue until morale improves.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 21, 2017
    #82
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  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    A woman standing outside a local restaurant was offering sex for a spaghetti dinner.

    She was arrested for pastatution.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 23, 2017
    #83
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 24, 2017
    #84
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  10. Maquiscat

    Maquiscat Well-Known Member

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    Sign posted at a SM brothel: "The beating will continue so that moral continues to improve."
     
    Maquiscat, Jul 24, 2017
    #85
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  11. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 25, 2017
    #86
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  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    A Descartian sign posted in hospital waiting room: Please be patient.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 25, 2017
    #87
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  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    He told the hot dog vendor to make him one with everything.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 25, 2017
    #88
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    whats the worst thing about ancient orators? They tend to Babylon.
    What do you call a Phillipino contortionist? A Manila folder!
     
    Sallyally, Jul 27, 2017
    #89
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  15. Orwell

    Orwell Active Member

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    Someone stole my mood ring,
    I don't know how to feel about that.
     
    Orwell, Aug 1, 2017
    #90
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  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?
     
    Sallyally, Aug 1, 2017
    #91
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  17. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Did you hear about the nun who had a lot of dirty habits?

    Have you ever wondered about the social dynamics in a convent? I often have. As a kid I often visited the convent, which was right next to our school. Strange vibe. But great rhubarb pie!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 5, 2017
    #92
  18. osbornterry

    osbornterry Well-Known Member

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    Question:
    What is A TOYOTA backwards?

    Answer:
    ATOYOTA
     
    osbornterry, Aug 5, 2017
    #93
  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Trump almost played the President in Sharknado 5 - a sequel in which he was to fight off Great White Sharks.

    He said he would only do it if they used brown or black sharks.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 6, 2017
    #94
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  20. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
     
    Sallyally, Aug 6, 2017
    #95
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  21. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Time flies. Time flies... Sounds like a good idea for a sci fi movie.

    Did you know that archaeologists are all mummies boys.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 6, 2017
    #96
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  22. Diablo

    Diablo Well-Known Member

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    I recall a newspaper headline (from long, long ago) when crash helmets were made compulsory in Britain, and the Sikh community refused to wear them because of their turbans:
    'Sikh and ye shall be fined'
     
    Diablo, Aug 9, 2017
    #97
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  23. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    What is the world's most popular wine? I don’t like Brussels sprouts.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 9, 2017
    #98
  24. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    What is green and goes to summer camp?

    A Brussel scout!
     
    Derideo_Te, Aug 9, 2017
    #99
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  25. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Why do fungi have to pay double air fares?

    Because they take up too mushroom!
     
    Derideo_Te, Aug 9, 2017
    #100
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