Dismiss Notice
Thanks for being a member of our community. Please donate toward site expenses if you can.

Puntastic!

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Orwell, Jun 9, 2017.

Page 7 of 16
  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 27, 2017
    #151
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  2. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Mint-flavored condoms = Condommints?

    Why don't we allow Antarcticans to immigrate?
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 27, 2017
    #152
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Tina Fey refers to Ann Coulter as dark-soul Barbie.

    Now THAT'S funny! :D
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 28, 2017
    #153
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  4. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    "A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic. A chicken walks up to him and says, 'Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it.'
     
    Sallyally, Aug 28, 2017
    #154
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    When you want a duck to duck, don't yell DUCK!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 29, 2017
    #155
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  6. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Mathematician golfing: Two squared!!!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 29, 2017
    #156
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Computer programmer golfing: 100!
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 29, 2017
    #157
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  8. KAMALAYKA

    KAMALAYKA Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,690
    Likes Received:
    1,005
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Darth Vader could always tell a good pun.

     
    KAMALAYKA, Aug 29, 2017
    #158
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    The latest duck news: The local duck community has suffered a terrible outbreak of down syndrome.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 29, 2017
    #159
    Bowerbird likes this.
  10. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Quack doctors are said to be taking advantage of the situation. Huge bills!
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 29, 2017
    #160
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  11. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113


    FYI: From the comments
    Gil Brown 10 months ago •
    I was their calculus teacher. The one with the curly hair went to the University of Oklahoma and went on to Carnegie Mellon and got his masters. He could have went anywhere he wanted and majored in anything he wanted, but his love was film and I believe that is what he majored in. The other young man went to the University of Arkansas and got his degree in Electrical Engineering, and he is now a proud dad. The girl that made a cameo in now an instructor at Northeastern State University. All were fantastic students and great kids.
    Show less
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 31, 2017
    #161
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  12. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Trump praying: Dear Me, bless the little peons who believe in me.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 31, 2017
    #162
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Trump Jr praying: Dear Dad...
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 31, 2017
    #163
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    A plateau is a high form of flattery.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 31, 2017
    #164
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Just found this.
    Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match. They want to catch him before he strikes again
     
    Sallyally, Aug 31, 2017
    #165
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    When asked where he comes down on Roe vs Wade, Trump responded, "The people in flood zones should wait for help".
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Sep 2, 2017
    #166
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  17. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
     
    Sallyally, Sep 5, 2017
    #167
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  18. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Some men I was working with were discussing marriage, rings, and rock sizes. It was decided that it is best to buy a wedding ring with adjustable diamond sizes. So after five years you replace the original diamond with a bigger one. Then again at 10 years, and 20 years.

    Then at 25 years, you take it back, I added.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Sep 6, 2017
    #168
    Bowerbird likes this.
  19. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    He hated exercise so broke up with his gym. It just didn't work out.
     
    Sallyally, Sep 6, 2017
    #169
    Bowerbird likes this.
  20. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Ro vs Wade

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Sep 11, 2017
    #170
    Bowerbird and DarkDaimon like this.
  21. Nerd of Liberty

    Nerd of Liberty Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2017
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    194
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Female
    Did you hear that Oxygen went on a date with Potassium? It went OK.
     
    Nerd of Liberty, Sep 11, 2017
    #171
    usfan, Bowerbird, DarkDaimon and 1 other person like this.
  22. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2017
    Messages:
    15,851
    Likes Received:
    28,283
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Gender:
    Female
    A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger".
     
    Sallyally, Sep 11, 2017
    #172
    Bowerbird and HereWeGoAgain like this.
  23. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Two hurricanes go into a low bar.

    They stormed the place.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Sep 18, 2017
    #173
    Bowerbird and Sallyally like this.
  24. DarkDaimon

    DarkDaimon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2010
    Messages:
    5,540
    Likes Received:
    1,565
    Trophy Points:
    113
    If this wasn't on the humor forum, I would have believed Trump really said that.
     
    DarkDaimon, Sep 19, 2017
    #174
    Bowerbird, HereWeGoAgain and Sallyally like this.
  25. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    27,942
    Likes Received:
    19,979
    Trophy Points:
    113
    In a bizarre twist, it was revealed today today that Trump's Rocket Man reference is sexual. "Oh yes", said Trump, "he is my Tiny Dancer".
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2017
    HereWeGoAgain, Sep 19, 2017
    #175
    Bowerbird, Sallyally and DarkDaimon like this.
Page 7 of 16

Share This Page