Shortage of eligible men as women struggle in dating game

Shortage of eligible men as women struggle in dating game



http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/q...-1226804921893
Queensland, Australia





SINGLE ladies, think there is a man drought?

You'd be correct.

Down Under is in the grip of a shortage of eligible men as the odds stack up against the girls in the dating stakes.

Online dating agency data and fresh Census analysis shows just how hard it can be, statistically, for a woman to find a partner.

Parts of the Sunshine State have been man drought-declared, in the typical dating age bracket of 18-35, topped by cities like Cairns, Rockhampton and Toowoomba where women outnumber men by the hundreds.

Ladies unlucky in love might think about a road trip to a bachelor hot spot like the male-dominated military garrison city of Townsville.

Or they might try the outback mining centre of Mount Isa, made famous by a former Mayor who once said even "ugly ducklings'' and "beauty disadvantaged" women are welcome, where men are five-to-one.

Federal Families Minister Kevin Andrews, author of "Maybe, I Do", and the Catholic Church weighed into the debate suggesting young women might be too picky in the marriage game.

Single women Ana Smit and Desiree Russouw, both 18, said while they are picky there is "definitely a man drought''.

"We live in an empty abyss of no man's land,'' said Ms Russouw, a shop assistant.

"There are lots of hot girls out there, competing in a small pool, for an eligible few,'' she said.

The Cairns duo and self-described Generation YOLO (You Only Live Once) warn the modern-day manhunt is hard.

"There are so many guys that are metro, gay or hipster,'' said Ms Smit, a beauty therapist.

The pair rate their top five as the "macho man", "gentleman", "bad boy grunge", "gym guys" and "bush bogans".

"I used to live in Darwin, way more guys, way hotter,'' said Ms Smit.

"I loved the bush bogans from Humpty Doo, all muscled up and manly, the sort who will go out crocodile wrestling and bull catching.''

Australia's biggest online dating agency RSVP said the strongest growth in new members in Queensland was coming from Cairns, Toowoomba and Rockhampton.

RSVP's Melanie Dudgeon said lovelorn singles look to meet new people outside their existing social network and immediate location.

In Brisbane the man-drought is evident in university suburbs like St Lucia, as more women take up tertiary education than men, with 3 per cent more ladies, said social researcher Mark McCrindle.

"This simply reflects the national drift of a man drought,'' he said yesterday.

Fellow demographer Bernard Salt, based on Census data published in March 2012, found it was most competitive for single women of marrying age.

There are 1.3 million single women aged 25-34 living in Australia. In the same age bracket, however, there are only 86,000 single, heterosexual, well-off or "eligible'' men earning above $60,000 a year,

 

I'm glad that this thread has been started.

It is not just australia with this phenomenon similar trends are being seen in Canada the US and other nations.

So far here in the US I have found few relevant empirical studies, probably because it is relatively new, but many people are talking about it. 20/20 did a segment on it, "the view "talked about it books have been authored about it. Basically people are talking but with few hard statistics.

Of course the usual perspective is that something must be wrong with men. What is ignored is that this trend is a response to what is wrong with feminism and how it has affected society.

If the trend is accurate it seems more and more men are turning away from traditional male roles and deciding not to be boyfriends, husbands, fathers etc. In many cases they do not even bother with college, careers or full time jobs. Why bother when one can support oneself on a part time job and have more time for all the electronic entertainment and sports etc that you like? BTW such men also pay lower taxes thus indirectly supporting women even less through welfare.

I enjoy learning about this trend because for once it is about me. I believe that this trend is growing because more and more men are seeing the writing on the wall and simply making a logical decision for self preservation.

We have observations and facts. Some of the facts are that a little over half of all marriages fail and end up in divorce. I have heard various stats on this some say 53% of all marriages some say 56% or something in between but it is always over half. This means the odds of a succesful marriage is less than 50/50. Then it is fact that when marriage ends it is almost always the man who pays the highest price and gets hurt the most. Granted sometimes men bring it on themselves by cheating etc but just as often wife cheats or more often neither cheats and some other issue breaks up the marriage. When this happens the man loses his home ( which he still purchased in most cases ) permanent regular contact with his children, his wife, and much of his income which will go towards child and ( sometimes ) spousal support.
Typically he will then work the same job making the same income to support that which he has lost while living in bleak circumstances. Many men are even finding out that prenuptial agreements are worthless to protect you from this since they can be overturned by a judge faster than a lawyer can write them and they routinely are overturned.

Some related observations are the rise of domestic violence laws and accusations, this often ties in as many women have been known to dream up such accusations in a pre-emptive strike. Makes it easier to file for divorce when the guy is forbidden to contact you due to a DV restraining order. Single men are also seeing such thing including false rape charges from one night stands etc or women getting pregnant in order to push a man into an unwanted relationship.

Then of course there is the fact that it is excusable for a woman to abandon her parental responsibilities. If she is pregnant with an unwanted child she can simply get an abortion. Men are expected to pay up regardless and not find a way out of supporting unwanted children in fact they go to prison if they abandon said responsibilities by not paying support.

I think that it is all of these things combined that is driving men away from traditional male roles in general and marriage specifically.

We no longer have a social stigma for sex outside of wedlock. So as long as we are careful we can get laid as much as we like without the baggage. In fact it is easier than ever with the social dating websites etc. IF more places legalize prostitution you can expect this trend to grow as men logically conclude it is better to pay for sex up front rather than pay for it while calling it "dating". I suspect feminists oppose legalization for this very reason. It would make women in general lose a little bit of control over men.

We also do not need the companionship of wives/girlfriends we once thought we did. We can get along fine with friends, sports and as I noted above endless electronic diversions ( internet video games etc ) which can fill up our time and with no baggage.

In the end the potential rewards of marriage/relationship is simply not worth the risk so why bother? One writer labeled this trend as men going on strike. I disagree because it is simply something men are choosing as individuals not as some netowork or group like a union.

Incidentally one of the few emipirical stats I could find related to this is from the American Medical Association which states that young childless men are getting vasectomies in greater numbers. Vasectomies are cheaper and easier to get and easier to reverse now so many men are getting them for their own protection. Incidentally a state congresswoman from Alabam proposed a bill to restrict vasectomies. The bill was defeated but I wonder what her motive was in proposing it in the first place. I don't know for sure but maybe because she is a feminist?

Many of the risks of marriage as they exist today can in fact be traced back to the influence of feminism such as no fault divorce laws in many states which feminists pushed for. It is not a coincidence that mosy people filing for divorce in no fault states are women and if they bother to give a reason it is most often lack of satisfaction. So if a woman is 5% or 95% or any % dis-satisfied with her marriage she can file for divorce end it and wreck her husbands life in the process with no fault.

I believe you will see this trend continue to grow and never stop unless changes are made making marriage and roles of fatherhood etc more appealing to men. Feminists should remember Steinem may have been correct when she said a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle but what she and others failed to realize is that men need a woman like a bicycle needs a fish. It cuts both ways and you are witnessing the results.

 

A good woman will find a mate and be cherished...the opposite is equally true. Perhaps this is not so much a "Shortage" of men, as it is the proliferation of unqualified women for the position.

 

You may be right.

But I still believe it is simply the changes made in marriage and the resulting pain suffering and destruction inflicted on many men causing it.

Many men are simply being cold and calculating about such matters. After all how can you know that a woman is a good woman? ( or a man is a good man ). No one can reallyknow what another person is thinking. We have to establish trust whcih is difficult to do and often betrayed. when established.

We may think we have the perfect mate to cherish and hold on to but can we realistically say what that person will do or think in 5 years or 10 yearsor 1 year? Many of the men with an 81 skylark who drive from a studio apartment to their job to support a family which they were kicked out of thought that they had the perfect woman to trust and cherish when they got married.

It boils down to gamblers odds, no matter how wonderful the woman ( or man ) is and no professional gambler with a working brain would touch a bet with the same odds as marriage.

 

Having been divorced twice, and experienced much of what you express first hand.....I agree. Yet, here I am again risking further damage at the hands of a woman I have carefully studied and appreciated for several years before doing so again. At some point one must simply roll the happiness dice and hope for the best if they wish to enjoy companionship in life. Had she shown signs of being less than acceptable to me, I would have walked away rather than take such a risk.

I have noted a huge array of women I would never take a chance with....and only this one has compelled me to "Need" her. Past experiences have created far more scrutiny in my mind.

 

Great posts soupnazi!!! but there are men choosing not to marry both as individuals and as a group. There are the 'grass eaters' in Japan and the MGTOW(men going their own way) movement in the West.

Herbivore men (草食(&#31995男子 Sōshoku(-kei) danshi?) is a social phenomenon in Japan of men who shun marriage or gaining a girlfriend.[1] They are characteristically described as frugal, and interested in personal grooming.[2] Under this categorization scheme, men and women are either herbivore type (草食系 sōshoku-kei?) or carnivore type (肉食系 nikushoku-kei?). As of September 2010, 36% of Japanese men between the ages of 16 and 19 perceived themselves in this way.[3] Additionally, two surveys of single men in their 20s and 30s found that 61% and 70%, respectively, considered themselves grass-eating men.[4] This phenomenon is viewed by the Japanese government as a leading cause in the nation's declining birth rate, prompting the government to provide incentives for couples that have children, including payouts and free health care

MGTOW is basically the statement of self-ownership and saying that only you have the right to decide what your goals in life should be.

It is saying that, as a man I will not surrender my will to the social expectations of women and society, because both have become hostile against masculinity.

 

I’m not getting married for basically two reasons: family and divorce courts are hostile towards men and personal autonomy.

I’ve posted pages of studies and links that show that family and divorce courts are hostile towards men, and I’m not going to post those studies and links in this post, but I will post what I mean by personal autonomy.
I’m a surfer, and I can honestly say some of the best days of my life have been the epic days I’ve been able to surf when the swell size, swell direction, wind, and tides have come together to create epic surf. I’ve been able to surf on those, ‘epic’ days because I have personal autonomy. I have, ‘personal autonomy’ because I’m an artist, so I have the ability to work around the surf.
If I were married and had a family, I would have to do something more lucrative to support a family which means I wouldn’t have the flexibility to surf whenever I wanted to surf. It also means I would probably have to do something I don’t like, and I also love what I do.

I’m also going to inherit money, and rather than getting married and divorced and having to split the money, I’m going to use the money to move to Costa Rica so I can surf without a wetsuit-

 

Unless he nets himself a rich widow or heiress, any man who gets married needs his head examined!

 

That sounds so like the things that some "feminists" say about men.

Maybe some species of the future will examine the heads, fossil skulls that is, of this big ape that so dominated the world of the ancient past, and wonder how they went extinct.


Reptoid one, to Reptoid two, holding a skull:

"They sure are ugly, maybe they couldnt stand eachother"

 

Your situation is exactly why I said I percieve it as individual men making choices, simply more men making a choice which others find disturbing.

I will also say I congradulate you on a succesful and happy marriage. I have nothing but envy and respect for people who can succeed in finding someone to share their life with. The problem as I have been expressing is that far too few succeed in finding this and therefore are simply deciding to find happiness without it.

You are correct that one must roll the dice IF it is companionship one thinks will bring happiness. What seems to be happening however is that far too many times men lose the roll and are destroyed therefore many men are simply reconsidering what brings happiness and deciding that companionship may be nice but is not necessary to lead a happy life. Yes many such men might also change their mind if the right person comes along.

What the thread is about however is what many percieve as a growing trend. So far it is cause for concern but not yet bad enough to sound an alarm. Ironically the ones showing concern are women many of whom are feminists. I cannot honestly say how big the trend is or how fast it is growing but I suspect bigger and faster than we realize. Sooner or later expect a lot more talk, discussion, and outcry about this. Unfortunately that is all that can be done. Talk about it and maybe try to shame or stygmatize the men who turn against traditional roles and marriage. Unfortunately also it seems to late for such measures to work. Men are simply deciding that they do not give a damn what others think of them. I personally have discovered this when certian people outright ask me " why aren't you married"? Such people assume one needs marriage in order to be happy and when I ( or any man ) decide otherwise they think we are wierd or even mentally ill. My life has been called pathetic and sad by people who barely know me because they think that such terms describes my life due to the fact that I live it alone and I live for me. They can't seem to accept I am very happy, content and satisfied and need no wife or GF to make things better.

The biggest irony of all is that this is what femnists typically preach women should pursue, somehow they do not like it when men do the same thing without a " movement ".

 

Any man who gets married has, statistically, about one chance in two of getting divorced. He has about nine chances in ten of getting reamed when he does. That's a bit like playing Russian roulette with three in the cylinder.

 

I have never heard of the MGTOW movement but it sounds interesting and will look into it.

I have heard the Japanese term Grasseaters, I knew it referred to men who turn away from marriage and relationships but I never knew exactly why the term applied. I figured it was some japanese cultural thing ( which you explain it is ) which I had no time to learn about.

Even if their is a movement I do not think it is what is causing the decline of men in relationship. what is causing it is that men are basically not stupid and learning that it is a stupid trap to get into and simply going their own way. The fact that there is a name for this movement may be only a reflection of hwo many men are making such choices.

Either way thanks and I will research it.

 

I am free and wild. No woman will domesticate this beast.

 

The same number of women get divorced, you know.
And of course, they are the ones who get pregnant.

 

Women initiate over 70% of the divorces

 

That may well be for the best. There are men who dont even belong in a house! But seriously, the deal on wild and free,no woman etc may well be mutual and to everyone's advantage.

I hope you are not just thinking what seems cool and like in some song
about living free. it may have less appeal later on.

Bachelor's Ill Luck
by Franz Kafka
Translated by Willa and Edwin Muir
It seems so dreadful to stay a bachelor, to become an old man struggling to keep one's dignity while begging for an invitation whenever one wants to spend an evening in company, to lie ill gazing for weeks into an empty room from the corner where one's bed is, always having to say good night at the front door, never to run up a stairway beside one's wife, to have only side doors in one's room leading into other people's living rooms, having to carry one's supper home in one's hand, having to admire other people's children and not even being allowed to go on saying: 'I have none myself,' modeling oneself in appearance and behavior on one or two bachelors remembered from one's youth.

That's how it will be, except that in reality, both today and later, one will stand there with a palpable body and a real head, a real forehead, that is, for smiting on with one's hand.

 

Yes and they make up most of the people filing for divorce especially for reasons of less than 100% satisfaction.

They also overwhelmingly benefit from divorce while taking men to the cleaners.

Women can avoid parental responsibility by getting an abortion men cannot. If the woman wants to have the baby the man is forced to pay, even if maury povich has a tv show suggesting otherwise. Most women now who the father is and can easily prove it and get the $

 

Did you actually READ the post you quoted?

 

Good question.

I suspect no.

 

so technical, you!

 

I'll interpret that answer as no

 

She stops reading anything that doesn't support her beliefs

 

Technically, I skimmed it in a very cursory sort of way.

 

A man doesn't even have to be the father of the child to be made to pay child support. If a man co-habitates with a women with children he can be considered the father of the children and be made to pay child support to the women when they break-up.

 

Very true and very disturbing.

In a related vein a few men have been sued ( I have not seen the outcome ) for children they did not father based on the premise that they withheld from their girlfriend the fact that they had a vasectomy.

The sequence usually goes, guy gets vasectomy and then meets girl. Starts dating but living seperately she says don't worry I'm on the pill she never asks about his vasectomy just assumes he can make babies. She wants more commitment he does not agree she goes off birth control and tries to get pregnant. After some time when nothing happens she sleeps around and then confronts boyfriend with " hey I'm pregant ". He responds with " who's the father "?

After the ensueing fight she only then discovers why she could never get pregnant by him and then turns around and sues for his " deception ".

As I said so far I have come across 3 such lawsuits ( there may be more ) and although I have no idea who won it is simply surreal that such legal attacks can be launched by a cheating woman.