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Tasteless Humor 3, Lord How Many More?

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Apr 14, 2020.

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  1. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    259095903_10227790621854672_7069330870413808896_n.jpg
     
    Phyxius, Nov 23, 2021
    #1976
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  2. Fred68

    Fred68 Well-Known Member

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    A US Senator passes away.

    At the Pearly Gates, he says, "St. Peter, I'm ready to go in."

    St. Peter says, "Not so fast, we have special rules for special people like you. First, you have to spend a day in Heaven, then a day in Hell. When you come back here and decide where you want to be, we'll send you there.

    The Senator finds Heaven tranquil where everyone floats on clouds singing and playing the harp.

    In Hell, he finds all his colleagues partying with the finest champagne and eating the finest caviar and lobster. He parties hardy with them the whole day.

    Back with St. Peter he complements Heaven but decides to spend eternity in Hell.

    When he then gets there, he finds a proverbial wasteland where his colleagues are miserable wearing rags and picking up garbage as it continually falls from the sky.

    The Devil comes to him and puts his around him, saying, "Wellcome to hell."

    Very upset and confused, the Senator tells him what he saw yesterday when he was there.

    The Devil explains, "Yesterday, we were campaigning."
     
    Fred68, Nov 26, 2021
    #1977
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  3. signalmankenneth

    signalmankenneth Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    signalmankenneth, Nov 27, 2021
    #1978
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  4. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    It has that little extra something...

    262380050_10222474800400958_8814549044508817977_n.jpg
     
    Phyxius, Nov 28, 2021
    #1979
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  5. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    261746597_10222469547309634_135985937457150357_n.jpg
     
    Phyxius, Nov 28, 2021
    #1980
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  6. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    4ga80f.jpg
     
    James California, Nov 29, 2021
    #1981
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  7. ToddWB

    ToddWB Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    ToddWB, Nov 29, 2021
    #1982
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  8. Melb_muser

    Melb_muser Well-Known Member Donor

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    Um, no. :dizzy:
     
    Melb_muser, Nov 29, 2021
    #1983
  9. Melb_muser

    Melb_muser Well-Known Member Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    Melb_muser, Dec 1, 2021
    #1984
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  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    What do we want?
    An end to Alzheimer's.
    When do we want it?
    Tin of custard please
     
    Nonnie, Dec 4, 2021
    #1985
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  11. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My missus got home bragging about her new fishnet stockings.

    "Good, " I said, "It's about time you caught that f****** fish up there. "
     
    Nonnie, Dec 4, 2021
    #1986
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  12. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Before the internet, people had to walk miles just to call me a ****
     
    Nonnie, Dec 4, 2021
    #1987
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  13. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Why does the Hudson River run through New York city?

    If it walked, it would get mugged.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 4, 2021
    #1988
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  14. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    donald-trump.jpg
    " This thread is SAD ... that I can tell you. "
     
    James California, Dec 4, 2021
    #1989
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  15. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I read an incredible statistic today

    456,000

    That's massive isn't it.
     
    Nonnie, Dec 4, 2021
    #1990
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  16. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Good Advice
    A man went to his lawyer and told him"My neighbour owes me $500 and he won't pay up, what should I do?" Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "No",replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5000 he owed you" said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely, that's what he will reply and then you have your proof!".
     
    Sallyally, Dec 5, 2021
    #1991
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  17. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    262370101_10227406588977353_770692895876308321_n.jpg
     
    Phyxius, Dec 5, 2021
    #1992
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  18. James California

    James California Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    ae1eb532-890f-4a2d-9759-0d1ddf588a39_1.387a358331859e70055a2513dc5329d5.jpeg Time for a cup ... :nod:
     
    James California, Dec 5, 2021
    #1993
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  19. signalmankenneth

    signalmankenneth Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    signalmankenneth, Dec 5, 2021
    #1994
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  20. popscott

    popscott Well-Known Member Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    popscott, Dec 5, 2021
    #1995
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  21. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    You DO NOT want to get whipped cream from these people.
     
    StillBlue, Dec 6, 2021
    #1996
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  22. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Some people only write lockdown because they can't spell kwarinteen
     
    Nonnie, Dec 7, 2021
    #1997
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  23. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Dec 7, 2021
    Moi621, Dec 7, 2021
    #1998
  24. Smedley

    Smedley Well-Known Member

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    Ha ha! I have been to that place.
    Many times.
     
    Smedley, Dec 7, 2021
    #1999
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  25. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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    Yeppers. Best kolaches on the planet! :applause:
     
    Phyxius, Dec 7, 2021
    #2000
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