Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

From what people are saying the TSA agents get distracted when you walk through the body scanner. "Look! Isn't that Elvis over there?"

 

When I go thru the body scanner the female agents give me their phone numbers.

 

It's "Amateur Lawyer day"

 

CONTRACTORS: Don't wear a yellow vest when pricing renovation work up for Notre Dame. The French police may kick the holy **** out of you.

 

Yep. Pure unbridled body urge huh?

 

It's more of a case of female TSA agents tend to be gay and he's passing as male when the scans show otherwise. It impresses them.

 

Do you know why so many kids died in the American school shootings?

They're not allowed to run in the corridors.

 

Bad Nonnie, bad!

 

A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?”

 

Your mom's nickname for me is tripod.

 

I remember her talking about you before she died 25 years ago. Do you still have your three teeth or did you finally get dentures?

 

And yet she's still a better lay & smells better than your wife who also lays there like she's been dead for 25 years.

 

Not surprised, their urns are almost identical. Have you spoken about your choice for sex fantasty material to a doctor?

 

Trebor mints taste a minty bit stronger,
Stick them up your bum so they last a lot longer.


(Thought I would just mention it)

 

I once toasted the bride and groom at a Pakistani wedding.
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All I did was push the button on the drone control.

 

Just trying to keep the theme of the thread going.

 

Tune?

 

So I just quit my job at Starbucks
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I couldn't handle the grind

 

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

 

So the wife left me, apparently I'm not environmentally friendly.
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At least I think that's what she was sayings when she said from now on I'm only have sex with guys who have sustainable wood.

 

The death of the Journalist, shot in Northern Ireland, has provoked the same reaction on both sides of the religious divide.
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It didn't matter whether she was a Protestant or a Catholic. She was a Lesbian. So she's gone to Hell.