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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    LOL was up pub with friend who lives in Berlin (He came back obviously) he really really hates Trump it was a "touchy" evening :)

    Out of my cast now couple of hours ago, wrist is killing me. Been 4 weeks 2 days since I last moved it.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Feb 28, 2019
    #51
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  2. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Feb 28, 2019
    #52
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  3. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Had a good scratch?
     
    Sallyally, Feb 28, 2019
    #53
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  4. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    There was a cable tie (Unofficially) inserted inside the cast for scratching purposes from day one :)

    Second it came off it stopped itching but isn't that always the way lol.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Feb 28, 2019
    #54
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Yes, crabs.
     
    Nonnie, Feb 28, 2019
    #55
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  6. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Does that mean, you can do 'you know what' again. Frustrating times?
     
    Nonnie, Feb 28, 2019
    #56
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  7. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Two fingers was all he actually needed to do "you know what" so that wasn't a problem.
     
    Derideo_Te, Mar 1, 2019
    #57
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I can always get a hooker but I couldn't wipe my arse using my right hand.

    It's the little things you know.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
    #58
  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    This girl I was dating said that she wanted a once in a lifetime experience, so I murdered her.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
    #59
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  10. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    He's ambidextrous.
     
    Sallyally, Mar 1, 2019
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
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  13. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
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  14. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
    #64
  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 1, 2019
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  16. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I survived Black History Month 2019 :woot:
    ​

    [​IMG]

    ​
     
    Moi621, Mar 1, 2019
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  17. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Great Moments in Black History​

    [​IMG]


    ​
     
    Moi621, Mar 1, 2019
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  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A guy had planned a fishing trip to his favorite fishing spot on the flats of Florida.
    He packed and began the trip to the water.
    He launched his boat, motored to his sea trout honey hole, and began fishing.
    In no time, he caught the biggest trout he’d ever caught.
    He cast out again and was delighted to catch an even larger trout.
    Every cast, he caught a trophy fish.
    Then his mobile phone rang; it was the hospital telling him his wife had been admitted to the emergency room.
    She may die, they told him.
    The fisherman is worried, but he wants to catch the world record trout, so he decides to have just a few more casts.
    He pulls in three more really huge trout, but his conscience begins to get the better of him, so he reluctantly pulls anchor and motors back to his car to go to the hospital.
    Running into the emergency room, he meets up with a stern-looking doctor.
    The doctor sees the man dressed for fishing and scolds the husband: “Your wife has been at death’s door for hours now. You kept fishing after you were called, didn’t you? You ought to be ashamed!”
    The fisherman sobbed it was true.
    “Well,” said the doc, “I hope you had a good time; your wife will survive, but your fishing days are over…
    She will require constant care from now on… 24 hours per day. You will have to do everything for her.”
    The fisherman sobbed, “Oh God, I didn’t think it was that bad, I feel terrible!!!!”
    The doc grinned and nudged the fisherman with his elbow…
    ”Just kidding, buddy… she’s dead. How many did you catch?”
     
    Sallyally, Mar 1, 2019
    #68
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I was taking the piss out of a man wearing a ridiculous wig today...
    .
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    He had the last laugh though. Sentenced me to 3 years!
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 2, 2019
    #69
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I used to love that old Queen song about necrophilia. Then I found out that "Some Body To Love" was only three words.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 2, 2019
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    BMW death traps: More than 250,000 cars in Britain are at risk of bursting into flames.
    .
    .
    .
    Luckily, the fault only appears if the indicators are used.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Mar 2, 2019
    #71
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  22. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Mar 2, 2019
    #72
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  23. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    My wife is so fat, I took a photo of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
     
    Nonnie, Mar 2, 2019
    #73
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  24. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    We now begin to see why his girlfriend left.
    She couldn't measure up to the wife?
    Menacing creaking noises from the floor boards?
    Guilt over the carbon footprint of the house from all the fridges and stoves not to mention sides of beef?
     
    StillBlue, Mar 2, 2019
    #74
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  25. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics.

    Two birds, one stone
     
    Nonnie, Mar 2, 2019
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