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Tasteless Humor II The Second One.

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Feb 21, 2019.

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  1. xwsmithx

    xwsmithx Well-Known Member

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    This is interesting because Oregon is also the location where 3/4 of America's porn gets made.
     
    xwsmithx, Aug 9, 2019
    #1501
  2. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    This bloke said to me: "I'm going to attack you with the neck of a guitar." I said, "Is that a fret?"
     
    Nonnie, Aug 9, 2019
    #1502
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  3. xwsmithx

    xwsmithx Well-Known Member

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    Did you hear the nursing home is giving out Viagra now? It's to keep the men from rolling out of bed.

    BOOOOOO.
     
    xwsmithx, Aug 9, 2019
    #1503
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  4. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    When the Olympics are held in America, the athletes have to use extra skill to work out which gun shot is the starting pistol.
     
    Nonnie, Aug 9, 2019
    #1504
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  5. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    The thing I don’t get about paedophilia… Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?
     
    Nonnie, Aug 9, 2019
    #1505
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  6. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    If you get offended by any jokes, by the way, feel free to Tweet your outrage on a mobile phone made by a ten year old in China.
     
    Nonnie, Aug 9, 2019
    #1506
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  7. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
    After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,
    “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
    The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.” The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
    To which the rabbi replied,
    “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”
    The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
    A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest,
    “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
    The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith”
    The rabbi then asked him,
    “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
    The priest replied,
    “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith.”
    The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said,
    “Beats the crap out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?”
     
    Sallyally, Aug 9, 2019
    #1507
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  8. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I'm entering the worlds tightest hat competition. Just hope I can pull it off.
     
    Nonnie, Aug 9, 2019
    #1508
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  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    My favorite bikini barista of all time was wearing the most revealing bikini I've ever seen. And OMG, she had on black nylons and a collar. LOL! :truce:Now the funny thing is, we have some very strong common backgrounds in religion and we have talked about this quite a bit. But she is an exhibitionist and she is a smoking, flaming hot blonde who loves to be adored. And when she makes the coffee. she makes a point to bend over and give you a nice long beautiful shot with nothing but a string between you and paradise.

    So as she was bending over, I sighed and said "I feel like Moses". She turned around and laughed and looked at me inquisitively. I continued "I can see into the promised land but I'm not allowed to enter." :D Got her with that one. Got a huge smile and laugh.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 9, 2019
    #1509
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  10. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I go to Yoga classes. I just stand at the back and firm up.
     
    Nonnie, Aug 10, 2019
    #1510
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    20 years since to the total eclipse Nonnie, do you feel old now?

    I slept through the eclipse after traveling to Cornwall to watch it. I was right at the centre point my friends laughed at me for missing it.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Aug 11, 2019
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I bet you do....
     
    Liberty Monkey, Aug 11, 2019
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  13. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Never bothered watching eclipses.

    I've seen the film, creatures come out during an eclipse and you have to be Vin Diesel to survive them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2019
    Nonnie, Aug 11, 2019
    #1513
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  14. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    I travelled to Reims in France with a truck full of fellow jugglers to see it on the way down to Grenoble for the European Juggling Convention.
    The eclipse was awesome and the EJC was even better.
     
    Montegriffo, Aug 11, 2019
    #1514
  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    how do cannibals kill circus performers?
    they go for the juggler. boom, tish.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 11, 2019
    #1515
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  16. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Epstein was in the circus. Did a killer high wire act without a net.
     
    StillBlue, Aug 11, 2019
    #1516
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  17. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    The original transcript of that joke...
    [​IMG]
     
    Montegriffo, Aug 11, 2019
    #1517
  18. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Had to read that twice, knowing you, it read as, "Smugglers" at first.
     
    Nonnie, Aug 11, 2019
    #1518
  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    '


    And even the people that work for him! Maybe it's some kind of disease?

    [​IMG]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 11, 2019
    #1519
  20. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    th (13).jpeg th (12).jpeg th (11).jpeg th (10).jpeg
     
    Nonnie, Aug 12, 2019
    #1520
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  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    You saying it’s old?
     
    Sallyally, Aug 12, 2019
    #1521
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  22. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel...

    ...and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.

    To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"

    "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
     
    Sallyally, Aug 12, 2019
    #1522
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  23. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    It even pre-dates you. ;)

    The actual tomb hieroglyph which is the oldest known depiction of juggling.
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2019
    Montegriffo, Aug 12, 2019
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  24. Montegriffo

    Montegriffo Well-Known Member

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    correction
    It's a mural not a hieroglyph.
     
    Montegriffo, Aug 12, 2019
    #1524
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  25. xwsmithx

    xwsmithx Well-Known Member

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    Vocabulary Nazi. I approve.

    [​IMG]
     
    xwsmithx, Aug 12, 2019
    #1525
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