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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Bruce and his mate Robbo are having a few beers and are discussing a long running dilemma.
    Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
    Robbo says; Women believe that giving birth is more painful than a bloke getting kicked in the nuts.
    Bruce, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking, came up with the answer to that question.
    Bruce reckoned that getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby.
    Look mate,he said, it's like this, OK? A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
    On the other hand, you never hear a bloke say, "You know, it's been a year since my last one, I reckon I would like another kick in the nuts now."
     
    Sallyally, Jul 30, 2018
    #1501
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  2. yasureoktoo

    yasureoktoo Banned

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    I never went to bed with an ugly woman.

    But I sure woke up with some.
     
    yasureoktoo, Jul 30, 2018
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  3. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Carol Burnett said that having a baby is like taking your lower lip and stretching it over the top of your head.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 31, 2018
    #1503
  4. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    And how do you think SHE felt?

    I've never experienced the walk of shame. It pays to not drink. :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 31, 2018
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  5. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Jul 31, 2018
    #1505
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  6. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I was trying to milk the cow. But she started kicking with her left hoof. So I tied her leg to the side of the stall. Then she started kicking with her right hoof. So I tied her right leg to the other side of the stall. But then she started slapping me in the face with her tail. So I threw a rope over a beam above, tied it to her tail, and pulled the rope tight. Just about then my father came in and asked in the hell I was doing. And you know, to this day he won't believe I was milking that cow.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 31, 2018
    #1506
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  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Politically Correct Cows

    [​IMG]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Jul 31, 2018
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    cow-scotland-joke.jpg
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 31, 2018
    #1508
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  9. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sure is!
     
    Sallyally, Jul 31, 2018
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Apparently, the collective term for a shark attack is a 'Closed Casket Funeral'
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 31, 2018
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  11. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    went on a date with a woman whose online profile said she had an 'infectious smile'. She had cold sores.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 31, 2018
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  12. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Collective term for a clutch of prostitutes? A flourish of strumpets.
     
    Sallyally, Jul 31, 2018
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  13. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    The World Trade Center and gender are linked.

    There used to be two of them but now it is a touchy subject.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Jul 31, 2018
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  14. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    Moi621, Jul 31, 2018
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  15. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sallyally, Jul 31, 2018
    #1515
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  16. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG]



    ​
     
    Moi621, Jul 31, 2018
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  17. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Don't get it.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 1, 2018
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  18. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    He's a Trump supporter, different thread.
    A "Tom", "Uncle Tom"
    The image came up on a search for Uncle Tom.
    And I ain't gonna 'splain Uncle Tom to you
     
    Moi621, Aug 1, 2018
    #1518
  19. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    I know about Uncle Tom. Seems a bit of a stretch.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 1, 2018
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...

    So I got drunk
     
    Liberty Monkey, Aug 1, 2018
    #1520
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  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Ps. Would a germaphobe be anywhere near a swamp?
     
    Sallyally, Aug 1, 2018
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  22. Diablo

    Diablo Well-Known Member

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    Or a pox of whores.
     
    Diablo, Aug 1, 2018
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  23. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    be he the po' black fella dats beholdin' to dem white folk....?
     
    The Scotsman, Aug 1, 2018
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  24. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    He pledged to "drain the swamp".     It's about Real Estate development, y'see.

    Drained swamp was a popular place to build cities. St. Peterburg for example. Chicago for another.
    Much of Holland.
    Washington, D.C. likewise.
    And you feel it in July and August.
    That's why it shuts down for "Summer Recess".

    You want the truth.
    All the pieces are before you like a puzzle
    Assemble them into whatever truth you chose
    Garak Star Trek Deep Space 9
     
    Moi621, Aug 1, 2018
    #1524
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  25. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    Colonel Potter tried to do that as well but failed....BJ and Trapper were just too sly....

    ...hmmm....maybe there's a euphemism there somewhere....:)
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2018
    The Scotsman, Aug 1, 2018
    #1525
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