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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Bowerbird

    Bowerbird Well-Known Member

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    OK

    Aussie Political humour

    3 tourists are sitting in the Blue Heeler Pub at Kynuna boasting about health care in thier country. There is an American, A Russian and an Australian.

    The American says "Why, our health care is so good we had a man lose half of his intestines and suffer a severe brain injury but he was back at work 2 weeks later"

    The Russian pipes up "Zat is nothing!! We had a man lost three quarters of his intestines and half of his brain and he was back at work in one week!"

    The Aussie just looks down at his beer (Good beer at Kynuna) looks up and says

    "I can beat you both. We have a bloke with no guts and no brains and we made him the bloody Prime Minister of the country!!"
     
    Bowerbird, Aug 11, 2017
    #176
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  2. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    A Malaysian friend told me this one, we were a little drunk so probably funnier then

    Q: what do you call a monkey in a minefield?

    A: a baboom
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #177
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  3. osbornterry

    osbornterry Well-Known Member

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    An old one

    Question:
    Why don't sharks eat attorneys?

    Answer:
    Professional courtesy
     
    osbornterry, Aug 12, 2017
    #178
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  4. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?

    A: Chelsea

    Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?

    A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.


    Q: Why should Creationism be taught in schools?

    A: Because it leaves less time to teach Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer

    P.O.L.I.T.I.C.S. = Purely Outright Lies Intended To Infect Common Sense.
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #179
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  5. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    thelma.jpg

    Scoobie-Doobie-WoooooooooooooooooooooHooooooooooooo
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #180
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  6. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    military-humor-lets-see-how-you-like-red-dot-cat-sniper-600x328.jpg

    If animals were armed
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #181
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  7. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    detroit democrats.png

    LOL
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #182
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  8. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    941d839e-5382-4e14-bf5f-8a0ef86913d4.gif

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #183
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  9. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    fail.jpg

    FAIL!!!!!
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #184
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  10. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    Alien_Italien.jpg

    This one is hilarious!!!!!
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #185
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  11. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    smart cookie.jpg

    smart cookie
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #186
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  12. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    this feller was in a local car parts shop when a woman walked in and asked for a seven ten cap. Two blokes behind the counter and our hero looked at each other and one said, "What's a 710 cap?"

    She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."

    "What kind of a car is it on?" someone asked. She said a Ford.

    "How big is it?" She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

    "What does it do?" She said she didn't know, but it had always been there.

    Someone gave her a note pad and asked her to draw a picture of it. She drew a circle and in the center wrote 710.

    710.jpg
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #187
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  13. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    perception? bird or ?

    rabbit on skis doing impressive long jump.jpg

    rabbit on skis doing impressive long jump
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #188
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  14. jmblt2000

    jmblt2000 Well-Known Member

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    I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
    Regards, Alan.

    Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed started drinking, after downing a few shots of Jack Daniels Bob grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he finished the bottle and passed out on the sofa. When he woke up he took out his phone where he saw he had received a subsequent message from his (now deceased) neighbor.

    Hi Bob, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, & that you noticed that darned autocorrect changed 'wi-fi' To 'wife'. Technology hey?
    Regards, Alan.
     
    jmblt2000, Aug 12, 2017
    #189
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  15. osbornterry

    osbornterry Well-Known Member

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    Homosexuality is a pain in the ass.
     
    osbornterry, Aug 12, 2017
    #190
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  16. politicalcenter

    politicalcenter Well-Known Member

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    wnd_c50fa246e893eb8ad35892c80e9e6879.jpg
     
    politicalcenter, Aug 14, 2017
    #191
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  17. acheter

    acheter Member

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    Do you smoke after sex?

    I don't know, I have never looked!
     
    acheter, Aug 15, 2017
    #192
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  18. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    If sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 17, 2017
    #193
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  19. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    Not necessarily...

    Did you hear about the gay internet?

    Just type C : [Enter]
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 19, 2017
    #194
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  20. osbornterry

    osbornterry Well-Known Member

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    Here is a question. What would a movie about gay zombies look like?
     
    osbornterry, Aug 20, 2017
    #195
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  21. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    Groan.
     
    Sallyally, Aug 20, 2017
    #196
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  22. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    I would imagine.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 20, 2017
    #197
  23. osbornterry

    osbornterry Well-Known Member

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    That is what the preacher said.
     
    osbornterry, Aug 20, 2017
    #198
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  24. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I just made made this up. Tasteless enough?

    Jerry Lewis, Controversial Comic Titan Behind 'Nutty Professor,' MDA Telethon, Dead at 91

    I thought he died when he split with Dean Martin! :roflol:

    <audience groan> <wave off> <smirk>    ​


    Moi :oldman:

    r > g


    :nana: :flagcanada:​
     
    Moi621, Aug 20, 2017
    #199
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  25. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Banned

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    About a year ago I was watching a documentary about human sexuality. They were delving into people's bedrooms to find out what goes on behind closed doors.

    One couple was asked if they ever engage in anal sex.

    He said no.
    She said yes.
    What!?!?, the husband replied.
    Yeah, twice, said the wife.

    Hey, a guy can get lost in the dark.
     
    HereWeGoAgain, Aug 21, 2017
    #200
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