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Tasteless Humor

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Moi621, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    [​IMG]
     
    Moi621, Sep 9, 2018
    #1976
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  2. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
     
    Moi621, Sep 9, 2018
    #1977
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  3. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Q: Is Google male or female?

    A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
     
    Moi621, Sep 9, 2018
    #1978
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  4. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?


    A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
     
    Moi621, Sep 9, 2018
    #1979
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  5. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him,
    "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

    The man replies, "Boobs!"
     
    Moi621, Sep 9, 2018
    #1980
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  6. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I went to see the Red Arrows last weekend. There was near miss after near miss, screams of "oooooohhh" and "aaaaaaahhhhh" But eventually my wife managed to park the car and then we saw the show.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 9, 2018
    #1981
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  7. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Finally realised how pathetic I truly am when I was browsing porn early this morning. I got pop-ups telling me that "Single girls in my area do not want to have sex with me !"
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 9, 2018
    #1982
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  8. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Dying for a shag?
    1280px-Mantis_Tenodera_aridifolia01.jpg
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 9, 2018
    #1983
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  9. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I just watched a Canadian Rom Com from 1996 called Kissed ;)
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 10, 2018
    #1984
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  10. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I self identify as a school girl
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    After the incident in the showers the police see it another way, my court date's Friday ;)
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 10, 2018
    #1985
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  11. Moi621

    Moi621 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Last edited: Sep 10, 2018
    Moi621, Sep 10, 2018
    #1986
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  12. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
    PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
    ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
    DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
    THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
    GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
    THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
    SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
    ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
    ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
    SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE
    THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT **** SHAKE
    ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
    MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 11, 2018
    #1987
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  13. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 11, 2018
    #1988
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  14. Sallyally

    Sallyally Well-Known Member Donor

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    A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband.

    "After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?" the defense attorney prompted.

    "Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment when I felt sorry for him."

    "And when was that?"

    "When he asked for his second cup."
     
    Sallyally, Sep 11, 2018
    #1989
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  15. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant.
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    Ones an elephant.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 11, 2018
    #1990
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  16. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Liberty Monkey, Sep 11, 2018
    #1991
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  17. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I was gutted today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
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    She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school...
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #1992
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  18. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Apparently it's Suicide Awareness Week. Wasn't sure what that entails, so I've just been looking up when walking past tall buildings.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #1993
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  19. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    You can always tell the Americans on holiday on British beaches.
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    They're the ones being sprayed with water and dragged back into the sea by the Marine Rescue Teams.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #1994
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  20. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    I'm getting really ****ed off with know-all Americans like GENGHISIV criticising British dental hygiene.
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    I thought to myself this morning as I was brushing my tooth.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #1995
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  21. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #1996
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  22. Nonnie

    Nonnie Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Avoid that problem, get a colostomy bag fitted.
     
    Nonnie, Sep 12, 2018
    #1997
  23. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    ....and then she reaches for the mirror, moisturiser, curling tongs and hairspray and spends the next 2 hours trying to refurbish her face so that any damage the water has done is diminished...whilst...at the same time complaining about the bog seat being left up, who moved the cotton bubs and why Johnson and Johnson have changed the formular on the bloody handcreme again!!...... and these fukcing tights were new on this morning now they've got a fukcing hole in them....!!!!


    :hiding:
     
    The Scotsman, Sep 12, 2018
    #1998
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  24. The Scotsman

    The Scotsman Well-Known Member

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    loved the Jeeves and Wooster series.... have you read the books? The missus got me the set of about 40ish PG Wodehouse books and loved everyone of them...
     
    The Scotsman, Sep 12, 2018
    #1999
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  25. Liberty Monkey

    Liberty Monkey Well-Known Member

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    Embarrassingly I haven't read any of them, have the full set at my grandparents house I should read them. Grandparents have been dead almost 20 years I think they would approve. They loved the books and the tv show it's what got me watching in the first place.

    Also got me into the 2 Ronnies and open all hours.
     
    Liberty Monkey, Sep 12, 2018
    #2000
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