The affliction of anger.

Discussion in 'Religion & Philosophy' started by robini123, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. robini123

    robini123 Well-Known Member

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    I have become keenly aware of just how much of a selfish prick I have been much of my life. The reason I say this is that the overwhelming majority of my anger during my life has been self imposed and based upon a selfish desire.

    Let me explain. So why do I get angry? First let's exclude legitimate reasons for anger like someone betraying your trust by stealing from you thus leaving you in a financial crisis, spouse cheating on you, etc. I get angry simply because others are not doing what I want or think they should be doing, or are otherwise not living up to my expectations. I generally do not even express to others what my expectations are as I assume that they know. I errantly believed that those around me have the same view as I do in terms of right and wrong and would get angry when others did not meet my unexpressed expectations. Talk about a self inflicted wound!

    A few words about expectation. Was it right of me to expect others to live up to my unclarified and subjective expectations? No! To assume that those I allow into my life all have the same values and morality has time and time again been proven untrue. As a moral relativist I understand that morality is relative to the individual and groups thus the subjectivity.

    So what does this have to do with my selfishness? Simply put I was examining the world and it's people as I thought they should be as opposed to how they actually are... in other words I was just plain delusional. I cannot even begin to express the pain my ignorance has caused me.

    Once one comes to objectively understand that you can do little to nothing to control others, then it becomes silly to place expectations upon others as said expectations tend to act as a trigger for ones anger when said expectations are not met. This does not mean that one should not have boundaries, it just means said boundaries should be realistic.

    Slowly figuring out this thing we call life... better late then never I suppose... thus the journey continues.

    As always, please add your own thoughts and experiences.
     
  2. Spooky

    Spooky Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I suppose I am the opposite of you.

    I have zero expectations of anyone, in fact I think most people are complete failures and that they are not even capable of living up to my standards that I set for myself so I simply dismiss them.

    That is not true but its the way I've felt most of my life and has now burned itself into my way of thinking.

    I suppose as I age and see others doing things I can no longer do it is chipping away at that superiority complex somewhat but its still there.
     
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