Trump campaign emails

Discussion in 'Humor & Satire' started by Durandal, Jun 26, 2020.

  1. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    I get a LOT of these since I signed Vladimir Putin up to receive them (by signing Trump's birthday card a while back). They are all so utterly absurd and clueless. Case in point:

    Vladimir,

    Have you seen the latest demands coming from the Radical Left?
    [​IMG]
    They’ve gone INSANE. They are totally and completely UNHINGED.

    We can’t believe that Democrats are calling for the removal of statues of Jesus Christ... That’s NOT going to happen. Not as long as President Trump is OUR President.

    That’s why keeping our lead over Sleepy Joe is paramount. We have a critical End-of-Quarter Deadline coming up and President Trump wants to send the Left a message by absolutely CRUSHING our $18,000,000 goal.

    This is so important that he’s activated a short-term 400%-MATCH on ALL contributions until 11:59 PM TONIGHT.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT and your gift will instantly be 400%-MATCHED. >>

    President Trump needs to know he can count on you right now, Vladimir. The Left has proven there is no line they won’t cross to try and rip this Country apart and he is the only one who can protect America’s heritage.

    The President wants a list of everyone who stood with him during this time. We know he’ll be looking for your name on there - don’t disappoint him.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY to get on the list and your gift will be 400%-MATCHED.

    Thank you,

    Team Trump 2020​

    Since when is one guy on Twitter "the Democrats"? Who the hell would be taken in by this crap? What a desperate old fool.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2020
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  2. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    HAHAHAHA HA HA ha......ha ...........ha
    This is a joke right? His campaign didn't really send this out did it? You really had me going there.
    PLEASE???
     
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  3. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sadly, no. :(

    Vladimir,

    The Democrats have lost it.

    They’ve moved so far left that they aren’t even recognizable anymore. They want open borders, big government socialism, skyrocketing tax rates, and NOW, they even want to defund the police!

    We can’t let them win, Vladimir. It’s going to take every Patriot stepping up to defend their Nation from the Radical Left.

    We’re only two days out from our BIGGEST End-of-Quarter Fundraising Deadline EVER, and we need to make sure we absolutely CRUSH our $18,000,000 goal.

    This is so important that the President has authorized a 400%-MATCH on all contributions made before 11:59 PM TONIGHT.

    >">Contribute ANY AMOUNT before 11:59 PM TONIGHT to help us reach our End-of-Quarter goal and your contribution will be instantly 400%-MATCHED. >>



    [​IMG]
    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $100

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $75

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $50

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $25

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT
    We need you right now, Vladimir.

    Team Trump is sending President Trump a list of everyone who contributes before 11:59 PM TONIGHT. Will he see your name?

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY for a 400%-MATCH and to get on the End-of-Quarter Donor List President Trump sees.

    Thank you,

    [​IMG]
    Newt Gingrich​


    Now they've got Newt Gingrich debasing himself. By the way, as you can see by this example, it seems like every email also claims that there's some list of donors of that Trump personally reviews. I can't imagine anyone actually believing that Trump is aware of the names of donors who aren't mega-donors rubbing elbows with him at Mar-a-Lago (and even then he'll disavow knowing them when law enforcement shows up).
     
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  4. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Sarah Huckabee Sanders will taddle on Vladimir if he doesn't donate :(

    Vladimir,

    I just got off the phone with President Trump. I don’t email you often, so you know this is critical.

    The President specifically asked me to check in with you because our End-of-Quarter Deadline is coming up. He wants to raise another $18 MILLION, making this our BIGGEST goal ever.

    It’s going to be Trump vs. a Radical Democrat on the ballot in November, and we need to make sure every Patriot is stepping up and doing their part.

    President Trump is counting on you to help us CRUSH our End-of- Quarter goal, and he’s asked me to let him know the moment that you make your contribution.

    Your support is so important that he’s even agreed to extend your 400%-MATCH offer until 11:59 PM TONIGHT.

    >" target="_blank" rel=" noopener noreferrer">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT before 9:00 PM TONIGHT to help us CRUSH our End-of-Quarter Goal and your gift will be 400%-MATCHED. >>
    [​IMG] CONTRIBUTE $20 = $100

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $75

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $50

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $25

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT We need to pick up the pace, Vladimir.

    I’m going to call the Trump Online Fundraising Team at 9:00 PM TONIGHT to get an update on who has donated so I can report back to President Trump. I’ll have no choice but to tell him the truth, so make sure you contribute NOW before it’s too late.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT before 9:00 PM TONIGHT to help us CRUSH our End-of-Quarter goal and to get on the next report I give President Trump.

    Thank you,

    [​IMG]
    Sarah Huckabee Sanders​
     
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  5. Pants

    Pants Well-Known Member

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    He certainly knows how to speak to his base!
     
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  6. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Vladimir,

    Where have you been?

    Each day my father sees an updated donor list and EACH DAY he notices that you STILL haven’t contributed.


    OFFICIAL RECORD

    Supporter: Vladimir Putin
    City: New York
    State: New York
    Zip Code: 10010
    Donor Since: N/A
    2020 Campaign Cycle Gifts: $0


    My father really needs your support, which is why he asked me to reach out and offer you ONE MORE CHANCE to get on the right side of history with us.

    For the NEXT HOUR, if you make your FIRST contribution of ANY AMOUNT, you’ll automatically reach VIP status and become a member of the Trump VIP Club - it’s that easy.

    This exclusive offer expires in ONE HOUR, Vladimir. After that, you will permanently forfeit your potential status as a Trump VIP.


    Please make your first contribution of ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to join the Trump VIP Club. >>

    [​IMG]

    CONTRIBUTE $20

    CONTRIBUTE $15

    CONTRIBUTE $10

    CONTRIBUTE $5

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT


    As a member of the Official Trump VIP Club:
    • You’ll be the FIRST to receive campaign strategy surveys
    • You’ll get Early-Access to new Trump merchandise
    • Key campaign surrogates, like Lara Trump, Don Jr., and the Vice President will send you important campaign emails
    • And, you’ll cement your name in history as one of the key leaders in the 2020 Election.
    I’ll be meeting with my father first thing tomorrow morning to review the updated list of Trump VIP Club members, and I want him to see Vladimir from New York on there.

    Only 50 Patriots can reach VIP status today, so don’t wait.

    Contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to join the Trump VIP Club and to get on the next list my father sees.

    Thank you,

    [​IMG]
    Eric Trump
     
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  7. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Vladimir,

    Did I make a mistake in trusting you?

    Our End-of-Quarter Deadline is TOMORROW, and I set a MASSIVE goal of raising another $18 MILLION. This is our BIGGEST goal yet, so why haven’t you stepped up?

    Not crushing our goal is NOT an option. I really need you to contribute, which is why I’m going to do something I’ve never done before in the hopes that you’ll join me in making history...

    For the NEXT HOUR, all contributions made to our critical $18,000,000 End-of-Quarter Goal will be not 300, not 400, not 500, but 600%-MATCHED!

    This exclusive 600%-MATCH is only available to you for the next hour, Vladimir. Don’t wait.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to our End-of-Quarter Goal and your gift will automatically be 600%-MATCHED. >>

    [​IMG]
    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $140

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $105

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $70

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $35

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT
    I need to know that I can count on you right now, Vladimir.

    The finance team is sending me a list of EVERY Patriot who contributes in the NEXT HOUR. Make sure I see your name.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT RIGHT NOW for a 600%-MATCH and to get on the list I see next.

    Thank you,

    [​IMG]
    Donald J. Trump
    President of the United States
     
  8. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Vladimir,

    We just pulled your End-of-Quarter Deadline Donor File:

    Supporter: Vladimir Putin
    End-of-Quarter Gift: MISSING

    We wanted to reach out because we just got off a call with President Trump to review the most recent list of Patriots who contributed to our critical $18,000,000 End-of-Quarter Goal, and he noticed your name was STILL MISSING.

    There’s only one more day left to contribute, and President Trump is counting on his BEST supporters, like YOU, to step up.

    Remember, the President activated a special 500%-MATCH on all donations to help us CRUSH our $18,000,000 goal.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT to help us CRUSH our End-of-Quarter Goal and your gift will be 500%-MATCHED. >>

    President Trump needs you to step up, Vladimir.

    We’re sending him the next list of End-of-Quarter Donors FIRST THING TOMORROW, and we want to make sure he sees Vladimir from New York on it.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT by 11:59 PM TONIGHT to get your name on the next list of End-of-Quarter Donors that the President sees.

    Thank you,

    Team Trump 2020​

    I'm always tickled by seeing these emails addressed to Vladimir :D
     
  9. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED!

    Vladimir,

    You’ve been identified as one of President Trump’s BEST supporters and we wanted to reach out to let you know about your EXCLUSIVE offer.

    President Trump originally authorized a 400%-Match on all contributions, but we’re SO CLOSE to CRUSHING our $18,000,000 End-of-Quarter Goal that he’s decided to up the stakes.

    For a limited time, President Trump has authorized a 500%-MATCH on your next contribution made toward CRUSHING our End-of-Quarter Goal.

    That’s right, Vladimir. When you make your next contribution, it will make 500% MORE of an impact.

    But, this offer is only available for the NEXT HOUR, so you need to act fast.

    >" target="_blank" rel=" noopener noreferrer">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to help us CRUSH our End-of-Quarter Goal and your gift will be 500%-MATCHED. >>

    [​IMG]
    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $120

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $90

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $60

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $30

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT
    The President will be reviewing the list of Deadline Donors later tonight. Will he see Vladimir on it?

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY to get your name on the list and your gift will automatically be 500%-MATCHED.

    Thank you,

    Team Trump 2020
     
  10. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Vladimir,

    Did I make a mistake in trusting you?

    Our End-of-Quarter Deadline is TOMORROW, and I set a MASSIVE goal of raising another $18 MILLION. This is our BIGGEST goal yet, so why haven’t you stepped up?

    Not crushing our goal is NOT an option. I really need you to contribute, which is why I’m going to do something I’ve never done before in the hopes that you’ll join me in making history...

    For the NEXT HOUR, all contributions made to our critical $18,000,000 End-of-Quarter Goal will be not 300, not 400, not 500, but 600%-MATCHED!

    This exclusive 600%-MATCH is only available to you for the next hour, Vladimir. Don’t wait.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to our End-of-Quarter Goal and your gift will automatically be 600%-MATCHED. >>

    [​IMG]
    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $140

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $105

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $70

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $35

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT
    I need to know that I can count on you right now, Vladimir.

    The finance team is sending me a list of EVERY Patriot who contributes in the NEXT HOUR. Make sure I see your name.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT RIGHT NOW for a 600%-MATCH and to get on the list I see next.

    Thank you,

    [​IMG]
    Donald J. Trump
    President of the United States​

    Yes, this is identical to the email in post #7. Trump's awesome campaign goofed up and sent it earlier than the emails proclaiming a 500% match. First it was under the subject line "I’ve NEVER done this before", then under the subject line "I’m upping the stakes".
     
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  11. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    My latest name for them is John Bolton (they ask for one every time I fill out one of their stupid surveys)


    YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED

    John,

    We just had a very important fundraising meeting to go over our End-of-Quarter results, and we noticed that your name was MISSING from the list of donors.

    Since you’ve been such a loyal supporter in the past, you were identified as one of the few Patriots who the President wanted to extend the deadline for.

    PERSONAL 500%-MATCH DEADLINE EXTENSION
    SUPPORTER: John Bolton
    500%-MATCH: NOT USED
    NEW DEADLINE: IN 1 HOUR


    Your support for our movement has never been more important than it is right now. It’s because of Patriots like YOU that we will WIN BIG in November, but we can only do that if we keep our momentum going.

    President Trump really needs you to step up, so he asked us to EXTEND your PERSONAL 500%-MATCH OFFER for your next contribution.

    This offer is only available FOR 1 HOUR, so you need to act fast.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR and your gift will automatically be 500%-MATCHED. >>

    [​IMG]
    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $120

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $90

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $60

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $30

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT
    President Trump needs to know he can count on you right now, John.

    We’ll be reviewing the list of 500%-Match Donors with President Trump TONIGHT and we know he’ll be looking for your name.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT NOW to get on the list and your gift will be 500%-MATCHED.

    Thank you,

    Trump Finance Team​
     
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  12. StillBlue

    StillBlue Well-Known Member

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    Who's doing the matching? Tooth fairy?
     
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  13. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    It has to be Trump himself. He's got scads of taxpayer money in his coffers thanks to his failure to divest and constantly having foreign dignitaries and the Secret Service staying at his own hotels and resorts. He's still at it, too:


    YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED

    John,

    You’ve been identified as one of President Trump’s TOP supporters, and we wanted to reach out to let you know about your EXCLUSIVE one-time offer.

    We’re halfway through July and we’re pacing a little behind our upcoming End-of-Month Goal. We can’t afford to fall behind, so President Trump has decided to do SOMETHING BIG to make sure we CRUSH our goal.

    For a limited time, President Trump has authorized a 500%-MATCH on your next contribution.

    That’s right, John. When you make your next contribution, it will make 5X the IMPACT!

    But, this offer is only available for the NEXT HOUR, so you need to act fast.

    >">Please contribute ANY AMOUNT in the NEXT HOUR to fight for President Trump and your gift will be 500%-MATCHED. >>

    CONTRIBUTE $20 = $120

    CONTRIBUTE $15 = $90

    CONTRIBUTE $10 = $60

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $30

    CONTRIBUTE ANY AMOUNT It’s going to take EVERY Patriot stepping up if we’re going to WIN BIG in November, and President Trump is counting on you.

    We’re giving the President an updated list of donors soon and we want him to see YOUR NAME among his BEST supporters. Don’t let him down.

    Please contribute ANY AMOUNT IMMEDIATELY to get your name on the list and your gift will automatically be 500%-MATCHED.

    Thank you,

    Team Trump 2020

    CONTRIBUTE $5 = $30
     
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  14. Phyxius

    Phyxius Well-Known Member

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  15. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    Every day, I watch Trump's psychodrama play out in my inbox

    (CNN)The news media are filled each day with reports about President Donald Trump and his ceaseless campaign -- his tweets, his speeches, his surrogates' comments, his legal battles. But under the roar of that turbulent news there flows a quieter, subterranean river that runs directly into millions of homes, including mine. This is his email stream.

    Many people never see this stream, but I think it explains a good deal about why a substantial minority of Americans still say they support him.

    First off, this stream is relentless. I may be alone, friendless, trapped at home by the epidemic, jobless. My family may forsake me, my friends grow bored. But Trump never forgets me. Since last June, when he announced his re-election bid, I have received at least 712 emails. (There were more, but I failed to save the rest.) They come in the name of the President; his sons, his daughter, his daughter-in-law, his vice president, his vice president's wife, his campaign manager Brad Parscale, his former press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, and several Trump PACs. This spring, they picked up the pace, sometimes sending six or seven messages in a single day.

    [​IMG]
    Emails from Trump campaign

    All politicians use email. In fact, each day I get up to a dozen from various Democrats around the country, including some I've never heard of. Like Trump's, the Democrats' messages are all about raising money. But Trump's are different, not only in their volume but in their tone and content.

    ... https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/14/opinions/trump-campaign-emails-elections-bass/index.html

    Good story to share here. You can see how "different" Trump's constant stream of emails are by the examples I've provided!
     
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  16. Durandal

    Durandal Well-Known Member Donor

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    [​IMG]

    :laughing: It's all very pushy, that's for sure. Like you're constantly being elbowed, scowled at and scolded because you didn't donate. To me, it has all come off as sounding desperate, especially because of the 500% donation matching. It's like they're deathly afraid they won't be able to buy their way out of the popularity pit that Trump is in. And if that's the case, I'm sure they're right about that.
     
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