I have many fond memories of my High School years (1984-1988 ). That was the best time of my life. I was full of hopes and plans. Like most teenagers, I was discovering the World around me. In this nanoessay I share one interesting story from our PE class. We had to run a mile -- a lap around some track. It was a relatively warm day in spring. In order to get an A, we had to finish the mile within a given time. The time in which we had to run a mile was determined by the students gender. I do not remember the exact times, but judging on similar times for HS students, it should have been 8 minutes for boys and 9 minutes for girls. No rule, however, is without exceptions. Given the weight of Future Cyber Citizen, he was given a longer time to walk a mile. I guess, it was about 12 min to 14 min, but I am not sure. It was still somewhat of a challenge. I ran about 200 meters, then walked about 400 meters. I ran several times and walked most of the time. I swore in Russian -- fortunately no one understood me. I did it -- I got an A. Most students, boys and girls, also managed to run a mile in their respective times and got As. To my detractors and bullies, my performance, as well as the way the rules have been bent for me was another cause for mockery. For me it was a small cause of pride. I did get an A after all! I was more proud of the symbolic implications of the situation. Effectively, the class has been split into three groups. The lowest-status group was the one made of "Snips and snails and puppy-dogs' tails". They were given the harder task. A better group was the one made of "Sugar and spice and everything nice". They were given an easier task. The Future Cyber Citizen was a group by himself. Like most teenagers I have viewed myself as special. The division of the class into three groups was in no way unexpected to me. At that time, however, a PE assignment was not on top of interesting events. I ate ice cream with lots of chocolate every lunch. I was a class clown. I studied Physics and Chemistry and made many "inventions". Nevertheless, already in this Century, I have found deep symbolism in Walking a Mile. To a great degree, this is an example of my rejection of outdated gender roles. If you like, it is my rejection of Toxic Masculinity. I am not Stoic. I talk about my feelings including Vulnerability and Depression. I ask for help. I talk about my Depression and Autism a lot -- too much for some of my readers. I value myself. I avoid risky behavior. I make no commitments which may be above my capabilities. I see no value in risky behaviors. I do not find alcohol, tobacco, and motorcycles exciting -- I find using them dangerous and foolhardy. To a great degree, my interest in Men's Issues comes from my rejection of traditional gender roles like Stoicism and Invulnerability. One of the reasons I strongly criticize male-bashing is that I am not ashamed to admit that I am hurt by abusive words. Most men pretend to be too tough to be hurt. If I express anger in some of my online interactions, then this anger comes from Sadness and Vulnerability. Ironically, the anger I express online may come not from Toxicity, but from rejection of toxic expectations. Nevertheless, I do not dwell on negative interactions. When someone is persistently rude to me on a forum, I usually leave for several months. Rejecting traditional Gender Roles, or at least their most harmful aspects can be a worthy goal for anyone. Old roles may not be the best in a rapidly changing Society.
Why what? In Modern World, many people do not fit into Gender Roles. Many have no clear gender identity.
I hope this isn't off topic. In my high school phy ed class, all boys, we had to run the 440 yard dash. We weren't assigned an ET but were grouped by age -- 15, 16, 17, and 18 and we were timed from start to finish. At the time I was 15, in 10th grade, and I was determined to be first in my age group to cross the finish line. We started out at a fast run but I held back. I was running in about the middle of the group. When we had about 120 yards to go I went wide open. I probably passed 20 runners who were tiring out. I came in second place. When I crossed the finish line I stumbled and fell. I got up, walked to a tree and puked.
