What great losses have you experienced that are in you?

My loss was naivety.

 

Loss of my naivety is among my greatest gains. Perspective is a fascinating thing! I would say my health is my greatest loss.

 

If you are too wise, many parts of you die. Think about aging and you will see I am right.
I am happy to be wise, but simultaneously a lot of things in me died.

What happened to your health ;(

 

Sure many parts die while other parts are born... like wisdom far beyond what I previously had.

Much of my wisdom comes from loss and learning how to effectively deal with it.

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

 

To me the greatest loss are death... people who are irreplaceable to me. I would say more important than any part of myself, but in retrospect they were actually a part of me.

Other losses I generally see as a learning curve, an opportunity to grow.

 

I think we talk about different type of dying that has to do with life lessons. Thats not it.
Let me demonstrate better with another photo..

 

I never look at anything as a loss, just a change in strategy.

 

I lost almost everyone and everything that mattered to me due to death, illness, the economic crash, a horrible marriage to a lying wife, alcoholism and drugs [not me]...

So I started a new life I never could have imagined.

I have a friend who gets frustrated if I complain. He claims my worst day is better than most people's best day. Perhaps. It doesn't seem that way to me but then again, I can barely remember what life was like before.

Dying inside is the key. There are dead people everywhere and I was one of them. But I created a new life.

 

My son. By far the biggest and most painful loss of my life.

 

Chris, my sympathies. I started to "like" your post but it would have come across wrong. I have nightmares about my children dying and I don't know how people recover from such losses.

 

I witnessed the physical abuse of my younger brother when I was 9 years old, when he was 2 or 3. I think about it nearly every day, and I'm 64 now.

I am ashamed of myself for not having killed the abuser, my father in the act. I had a gun, and ammo, but, at 9 years old, just didn't have the balls. I was only 9, true, but I grew older. Why didn't I kill him later, or at least report him to the police? I'm ashamed of the answer.

So I guess what I lost was self respect and respect for my father. He died in 2000, so it's too late to kill him or report him to the police now. He had his good points, of course, as does everyone else, so now I feel shame for criticizing him. What a ****ing mess.

 

I cannot even imagine the impact this would have on my psyche....you have my good thoughts, for what that is worth.

My second wife had an affair that I only figured out after she divorced me. This created the third child that I delivered at home (her request) and only figured out was not mine years after getting my mental happiness back. She has since destroyed my credit, had my house foreclosed on, forced my business into bankruptcy, taken my children for herself, convinced them I am an alcoholic (I do not drink) who abandoned them, moved so many times I don't know where they are, and basically destroyed any chance of financial stability in my situation. Though my personality has allowed me to move on and my persona and physical appearance allowed for a marriage to someone far more attractive both mentally and physically (I even mentally thank her for release), I am scarred to the point that "Forgiveness" is not an option, this hurts doubly so as I feel I need to in order to progress.

At some level I understand she was incapable of being more than she is, but on another she is an evil biatch unworthy of continued existence.

 

Yes, you should have killed him. I would have; not at 9 of course, but as you say, when I was older.

 

Thank you. I would have known what you meant by "like." You never really recover. You just learn to accept it and to live with it.

 

Wow. That's rough stuff. I wonder sometimes how we end up with evil spouses (though mine is a saint compared to your ex). Do we just not see it at first? Do they mask it? Is it camouflaged behind good qualities? Or do they change as time goes on?

 

Is it all just them? Or does it take two to make a relationship work or fail?

 

I never forget that there are TWO sides to every story. Lol. A lot of times we only get to hear a one sided version of the true and complete story.

 

In my case it was a combination of lusting emotions and turning a blind eye for my children. In hindsight it is quite easy to review life errors and critique myself, but this serves no useful purpose after a lesson is embraced. It seems best to accept the reality, move on and enjoy life as intended rather than give power over my thoughts to her. Karma will not be kind as it has been to me.

 

Too private for me but deaths that change your life.

 

No you shouldn't have killed him. Then what makes you any better than he is? In fact, you probably would have gone to jail and to throw your life away over this person is certainly not worth it. Your brother wouldn't want that either, I'm sure.

 

I'd guess that more often than not it starts out as infatuation (usually inspired by physical attractions), it then progresses into an obsession, and as we all know, obsession clouds the sense of good judgement?