Why today’s young men are terrified of sex... Any truth to this, or are y'all geezers outdated...

My perception is of a young adult who got laid in the last year, how does yours compare? Your argument relies on power differences between partners and manipulation of those threads. That doesn't sound like the basis for a healthy relationship, you invite victim blaming. There is no difference in a woman saying she was sexually assaulted by her partner, and a woman who has actually assaulted and coming forward with it with this view. The only way you can is by denying these allegations of sexual assault are true at all. Add in how men maintain certain positions of pow

 

Sorry no, it has nothing to do with power differences save for the fact that the average male is 2-4 inches taller and 50 lbs heavier than the average female. Some allegations are obviously true some are obviously false. That's why we have juries to try to sort out who the liars are.

 

You just said people were lying for power over their partner by falsely accusing the other of sexual assault. You literally just said grandma is pretending to be 22 to have sex with young people. That sounds like power differences to me.

 

NOt doing it for power, doing it for purposes of saving face of preserving their self esteem mostly not everything is about power in the real world whatever your ivory tower tells you.

 

So they preserve their self esteem by keeping another person down? That's power difference right there.

 

I wanted to include in this context another twist on what's happening. In Japan, they are seeing a serious divergence of young men and women. To a surprisingly large extent, women aren't interested in the men and visa versa. Among other factors, sex is going virtual.Even many if not most young Japanese women are into seriously nasty nasty nasty or at least highly erotic, anime porn. And the Japanese have led the charge in developing convincingly real, sex robots.

I sometimes wonder if we are seeing something that is much bigger than it first appears. This may not be just about porn. It may be about the very future of sex. I have often mused that if I was a teenage boy with a convincingly real hot babe sex robot, I never would have come out of my room. The convergence of virtual reality, robotics, and the internet of sex, is clearly upon us. We have decades of science fiction that guesses at what happens next.

There is an episode in the latest season of the British science fiction series, Black Mirror, that explores this idea. It explores the idea of sex in a virtual reality. The writing is excellent and the series is always thought provoking.

 

1. Trying to sweep the phenomenon described in the OP and later in the thread all under the "porn rug" is feeble and a non-starter.
2. Female "advice" and opinions on male dating, men's sex issues, are like asking cats to suggest ways for dogs to dig holes. Worthless. We constantly hear women (feminists) opining on how men have no voice in women's issues. What's good for the goose... Anecdotally, I have gotten good dating advice from exactly -1- woman in my life, a boss of mine in the late 80s: A. Looks. B. Looks. C. Looks. D. Everything else. It is certainly not a panacea, but has proven generally accurate dozens of times since in dating, and mostly shows the IMMENSE contrast between the BS women say they want in a man and what they really want.
3. Bringing up the "failure of marriage" without acknowledging lopsided discrimination against men in courts and counseling is disingenuous. "He's an alcoholic! What an *******!" "She's an alcoholic! What did he do to drive her to that?" "He cheated. His fault." "She cheated. His fault." Don't bother denying it, especially not to a lawyer with MANY friends practicing in the Family Courts.
4. Sorry, but a "sugar baby" is a prostitute, and you are a John. Absolutely no way around that. It's fine you like to use prostitutes, I think it should be legal personally, but let's not sugar coat it.
5. Agree on the OK Cupid survey that I cited earlier in the thread. It demonstrates that female hypergamy is very real. It is not some "evil" disposition of women, but something every man must understand and use to his advantage to be successful in dating.

 

I’m not terrified of sex. My last girlfriend was sex obsessed and apparently very promiscuous. She was half Japanese half white...
I have had enough sex to last me a life time in the Traumatic weeks I was with her. I honestly prefer masturbation femdom.
I never want to have sex with a woman again (I am in luck as I don’t think any woman will be crazy and aggressive enough to ask me out again) that woman thought my 5-5/12 inch penis was huge and that I was “sexy” eye roll.
Most women think I am hideous to mediocre ( which I am glad of now and wish I was gay for romance).
I honestly would be happy if I never had sex again. Popular culture portrays us males as sexy hungry but if anything women put sex on a pedestal

 

It's not sex they're terrified of, it's doing what's necessary to get sex - actually talking to women, making funny quips that aren't interpreted as support for the Holocaust, etc.

Man's role as the initiator is less certain, and uncertain roles make for... surprise surprise... uncertain men.

 

The problem is oversexualisation. Everything is about sex and young men have unrealistic expectations and/or choose not to even talk to women because their unrealistic expectations make them unrealistically afraid of rejection.

Women have unrealistic expectations too. With "hookup-culture", there has been an inflation of the female sexuality where the best looking men monopolise all women making average women think they are above average.

 

@Aquarius You're a Gen Z ?

 

I’m 26

 

More a late millenial then. But you're quite close of the generation Z.

 

disagree with the 50% rape charge accusation, but there is a chance,

and regardless if male or female there is a chance that you will be harassed on social media nowadays afterwards, that did not exist in the past, in the past, if you had drunk sex, was much easier to put behind you and forget it then it is today

 

No article needed. Masturbation is a way better deal than putting up with this new feminist garbage. I don't blame them. If women were this way back in my time, I would have abstained from sex as well.

 

curious, you say your in your 50's and like women in their 20's, is there something wrong with women your own age in your eyes

I mean if women in their 20's dating older men means something is wrong with young men (other than older men having more money usually), then would not the same be true of older women, is something wrong with them?

 

So you're young, you can go like a flamingo dancer turned loose in a whorehouse (even if you don't know that yet), and you're afraid?

 

Long run, that's a serious issue. VR porn will probably get there before sexbots, but in either case, it's going to be difficult to for relationships to form when guys are getting what they need (or what they think they need) from technology. It might turn out just the Amish will end up getting married and having babies.

 

Artificial wombs say "hold my beer."

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/03/190326105650.htm

https://bigthink.com/artificial-womb-technology-who-benefits

 

Someone has to raise the kid after it pops out of the artificial womb. You still have the same problem of family formation.

 

I think however it's taking the problem in a poor way.

I would consider that hypothesis :
Young men also use that much porn because they care much less on the real relationships, following the disappearance of the stable family model in the 70's.
By the way, consumption of pornography can't simply be explained by the explosion of divorces.

I suppose that both are cause and consequences in the same time.

High rate of divorces make young boys distrustfull of marriage and so less willingfull to get a balanced sexuality
Pornography create more disturbed young boys and are a factor of unstability in relationships
Broken families create more disturbed young boys.

They're still a minority in USA, but in Japan they're a majority and japanese government didn't managed to fixt he problem. I suppose on the long run, that's the same that happened in Japan would happen in USA and the western world in a general way. The expression of the problem would be slighty different because of the cultural differences, by the way.

 

Well the availability of porn is different. Until streaming video and smart phones, there just wasn't that much porn available. Now it's ubiquitous.

 

Yes, I don't deny that.

I just think it's interesting to put it in parallel with the disintegration of the families that started in the 70's.

I must admit the topic is fascinating me.

I emited a few years (2 or 3?) ago the prediction that the society would produce massively deeply non-functionnal men. Non-functionnal in the sense, they would be non-functionnal as father or from an economical point of view (they would contribute less in work, and so in taxes). Those non functionnal men would end to be the majority of young men. That's not the case yet.
Prediction is a big word, I just observed some tendancies and supposed that they would considerably amplify.

That kind of new put me in opposing feelings, in a sense, I'm quite proud my "predictions" come true, and the reality of what's happening is quite sad.

 

A large percentage of women my age were ruined by the women's movement. They have such a screwed up view of men and sex that I want no part of it. For example, one day before we split, I told my ex about a study which sought to determine the effect of porn on young men. They couldn't do the study because they couldn't find any young men [or very few] who didn't use porn, so they had no control group.

She squished up her face and blurted out with extreme disdain, "That just proves that all men are perverts". Keep in mind that she didn't think I used porn. And in fact I had to hide it from her because I knew she would freak out over it. And I never cheated on her even though I went ten years without sex.

All men are perverts. Men who need sex can just go jack off. Typical attitude. And most women my age can't handle a man with a sex drive like mine.

I tried reaching out to older women and was so turned off by their attitude I never went back. Many of the young women I've dated understand me far better than my wife ever did even after 25 years of marriage. And they haven't been ruined by the "everything that makes you unhappy is the fault of a man" attitude.

Beyond that, what I see is women using men to get what they want. As a friend of mine once commented, the women he sees are all just after his retirement. And it was clear in divorce court that my years of honesty and loyalty and love were all for nothing. All she really cared about was what she could get out of the deal. If we're going to play that game, I might as well just share what I have with the most beautiful women I can find. And undeniably, much of what we perceive as beauty is a function of youth. So there we go.

 

Convincing sex robots are very close. Even now men are paying over 10K for the top of the line [the last time I looked]. Assuming that convincing sex robots will be very expensive, robot brothels seem to be a certainty. In fact I heard that two have already opened.

But I'm thinking sophisticated sex [masturbation] toys combined with VR might take the lead for the foreseeable future, for financial reasons.