Would you want to live your life all over again?

Discussion in 'Member Casual Chat' started by monkrules, May 22, 2017.

  1. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    Sure, but most people who would do that wouldn't do it for 10 years! That's a sign that there is a serious problem in the relationship to me, and if he was so nice to her, I doubt she would have been withholding sex to begin with. It just doesn't add up, and I am quite sure there is another side to this story. And we don't even know if it's really true! :laughing:

    And if this is true, then this guy who seems to not be able to stop talking about his ex has obviously not moved on and has some serious unresolved issues, and rehashing old bad memories on internet forums is not the type of "therapy" that he needs.
     
  2. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    10 years IS a long time for sure. I wouldn't stand for that. But that's just IMO.

    I rehash bad memories all the time. Lest I forget.
     
  3. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    He does it in almost every single thread! He can't stop talking about himself!
     
  4. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    If he's anything like this in real life, I can totally sympathize with the wife. :laughing:
     
  5. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    OK that's your opinion...I just know there are always 2 sides to every relationship. As a man I always see one side and as a woman you see the other side. It takes two to Tango. Every couple has their own 'dance' and when the music stops playing the 'dance' sometimes stops. I don't blame one party more than the other. Unless there is verified abuse and, to me, verified abuse is NO sex for 10 years!!!
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017
  6. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    Except it hasn't been verified. :D
     
  7. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Yeah...good point...We really don't know...I'm just opining.
     
  8. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    I would rather opine about the behavior that is clearly observable before me, such as the story tellers themselves.
     
  9. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    That's what got me going. Ten years without sex? No way I would stand for that unless it was some kind of health problem, in which case I surely wouldn't divorce her. I would support her and sex would be secondary...Love and commitment first. But if she is withholding sex because she lied about being attracted to me...All bets are off.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017
  10. ChrisL

    ChrisL Well-Known Member

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    Anyways, my point is that it is kind of wrong to judge the woman (even if she is anonymous) based upon one side of the story when we don't know who she is, have never met or spoken to her, don't know her side of this . . . story. It's odd to me that a person would incessantly talk about their personal relationships on a political message board and bring it up at every convenient opportunity. He's even got a thread about it! It's all just so lopsided to even take it seriously, IMO.
     
  11. RPA1

    RPA1 Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    K....
     
  12. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Here is one that I live by myself.

    Everything worth having is worth working for.

    Yes, that includes marriage but it requires both parties to embrace that saying and work on the their lives together because that is what a marriage is all about, how two individuals live as one couple and form a team.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2017
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  13. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Then the honest thing to do would have been to discuss the reasons and work on ways to improve the situation.
     
  14. monkrules

    monkrules Well-Known Member

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    Exactly.

    In most of the marriages I've seen fail, one of the two partners doesn't take the vows as seriously as the other. Usually it's the man, I would say. But women can go off the rails and make life miserable, too. I have a close relative, she and her husband have been married over fifty years. Just amazing. All relationships take a lot of work (and commitment).

    Have you noticed that in many relationships — probably some of the ones that don't last — one partner seems much more in love than the other? And, imo, the partner who is more in love would be in a weaker position within the relationship. If the partner who is not as much in love is an AH they can really take advantage of that difference.
     
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  15. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    Your observations are correct that there are many AH's (male and female) that do take unfair advantage of spouses.

    As far as the long term relationship work/commitment goes it actually gets easier IMO. For instance I was tempted to take advantage of opportunities that came my way but before going down that path I considered what it would mean to betray the trust of my partner. Trust is hard to earn and easy to lose over something trivial and passing.

    The reason I mention this is because when someone in a marriage "confesses" to cheating on a spouse it is just as selfish as the act of cheating was. The cheater gets to relieve themselves of some of their guilt by "owning up" to it but by doing so they devastate the other party who then goes through all kinds of emotional turmoil at being betrayed. They doubt themselves and their ability to judge others. And yes, it provides a basis for an ugly divorce that then causes harm to children who trusted both of their parents to be there for them.

    Instead it is easier to live with oneself and one's partner in mutual trust and respect. You have made a commitment and by sticking with it irrespective of the trials and tribulations that life throws at you it is always easier to bear as a team rather than as an individual IMO.
     
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  16. Troianii

    Troianii Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Not really. There are a few things I'd like a do-over on, but not much.
     
  17. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    I would, only do things different; I'd save up all my money, invest into facebook, google, youtube, apple.
     
  18. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    My first words in 1988/1989 would be
    'internet'
    or
    'beware of 9/11' or something.
     
  19. The Rhetoric of Life

    The Rhetoric of Life Banned

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    I'd be a little boy in my parents living room watching TV telling everybody
    'He dies' 'He dies' He gets fat' 'She dies' 'He's dead' 'Dead' 'He dies' 'He kills his wife and goes on a high speed chase in a Bronco' 'He dies' 'She dies in a tunnel..

    Might freak people out but, that'll be awesome.
     
  20. J.Idallian

    J.Idallian Well-Known Member

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    That heavily depends on if you're aware of the past lives actions, the future that's coming, and you're able to alter it.

    If the answer is no, it must all be blind... then under no circumstances. My life has been hell, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

    If the answer is yes, then oh yes, absolutely. Justice would be dispensed righteously.
     
  21. tealwings

    tealwings Well-Known Member

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    I don't know your whole story but sometimes it is best to say "enough".
    My ex and I just weren't meant to be together and more importantly got together for the wrong reasons. It was hard for awhile, but we quickly focused on whats best for the kids and now were friends.
    Id only go back if I could know what I know now. If that's not an option, nah...life is pretty good right now. Ill keep it. =)
     
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  22. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    Obviously gregarious individuals wouldn't agree, but there is so much to be said for freedom and independence from unwanted and unsuitable relationship encumbrances.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  23. yiostheoy

    yiostheoy Well-Known Member

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    This question is an issue of Philosophy and Religion.

    Philosophy teaches us that our minds are immortal and separate from our bodies.

    Religions all teach something similar.

    There is no basis to believe or surmise that this mortal Earth life is all there is.

    Anyone who thinks so has not studied enough Philosophy and/or Religion.

    Whatever comes next will inevitable come. Nobody can prevent it.

    When your own time comes you will also need to move on.

    Might as well appreciate and enjoy everything about it.

    Everyone dies whether now or 50 years from now, it makes little difference in the overall perspective when it comes -- only that we face it with courage and wisdom and faith.

    Only cowards fear death.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
  24. Derideo_Te

    Derideo_Te Well-Known Member

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    That describes the majority of families but by no means all.

    Given the generational dysfunctionality in my own family I separated myself from them for many years and instead "adopted" my spouse's family (or vice versa) since they were sane and normal.

    No one gets to pick the relatives that they are born with but they do get to decide what kind of life they want and how to spend their time.

    In the end it turns out that it was not only good for me to put that time and distance between myself and my family but it helped them to have me come back with a fresh perspective that ended a lot of the negative game playing that was the cause of the dysfunction.

    No, I would not want to go through that load of emotional baggage ever again.
     
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  25. cerberus

    cerberus Well-Known Member Past Donor

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    I was always so different from everyone in not only my immediate family, but in the wider family too, that I often wonder if I was the milkman's. [​IMG] :mrgreen:
     

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