Would you want to live your life all over again?

Actually, this is your second life, but the last one was a REAL bitch.

 

That's where optimism gets you...

 

I did the same thing, many years ago. Had to get away from the family insanity for a time, ended up being five years. My SO and I chose the healthier members of our families we would associate with. It was great for everyone involved.

We can't choose our relatives and, sadly, there are often some members we should have nothing to do with. And simply being related to someone is no reason to condemn ourselves to a painful relationship that lasts a lifetime. Unless we're into masochism, that is.

Thankfully, we can choose our friends. I once heard someone say: friends are what family should have been. Beautiful thought. Paraphrasing from a very old memory.

 

I'd love to go back. There are a few things I'd do differently, but I can't complain. I like what I do for a living. I like the experience I got in the Air Force. I love my wife and sons, but if I went back and did anything differently I wouldn't be guaranteed that I would have the same kids or even meet the same woman to marry. When I get really old and life is about to end, I'd love to go back and try it again from the same start with the same parents. I have had a pretty good life. I might take on some different hobbies. I've always wanted to get a motorcycle, and I still may. I'm only 50 and the last kid is in high school.

 

I'd do it all again.
If I was born again.

But other wise, I'm not looking to. Too tired.
There is more new stuff to do in the meantime.

 

I wouldn't say optimism... I would call it a false sense of duty due to feminist and religious brainwashing.

I'm not anti-marriage but I have a huge problem with it being sold to young people as the path to a happy life. With a 50% divorce rate and millions more stuck or staying in bad marriages, marriage is a crap shoot at best.

 

Which marriage doesn't feel like a bad marriage at some point or other?

 

Well, all bad marriage do for sure.

I tend to think it is a mostly flawed concept. Many humans are not monogamous by nature. And what are the odds two people will be compatible ten or twenty years down the road. We all change. It's a crap shoot.

I do happen to be monogamous by nature. Funny thing, now I sort of regret that.

 

I don't think it is.

I think most of us are compatible with 99.999% of all other people.
I can get on with anyone. I find things to love in everyone I meet.

Most people can and do.
It's pretty simple stuff. Living together causes frictions, for sure.
Expectations must be managed and indeed met.
But little things get blown out of proportion. Cabin fever. And then blow over.

Manage these things and you will go all the way. Why not? Others can. Even arranged marriages can and do.

It's not that hard. Millions have done it. Billions.
Gazillions of marriages have stood the test of time. So why not mine?
Anything that has been done, can be done. Any thing that can be done, I can do too.

So fall in love, get married have kids, buy the farm. Easy roles we all know.
Follow the pattern, enjoy the romance. Everyone knows what to do. Why not?

 

preaching to the choir there...

 

I once heard someone say, "the most important thing in making a marriage last, is acceptance."

They were, of course, speaking in the context of an all-around successful marriage.

The more you think about it, the more sense it seems to make.